Being Poor

[crosses]

I found this article and I'm not sure if I agree or disagree with it. I would like to hear other people's opinions. I chose a few of the lines. You can read everything at

http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/003704.html

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.

Being poor is off-brand toys.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Being Poor

I have quite alot of opinions about lots of the 'phrases' but It can be summed up pretty quick, err guess this wasn't so quick, sorry.

1. Stealing is not equated to poor, it is wrong PERIOD. getting stuff out of trash is a hobby for many, now if it was last nights dinner you are picking up, you're poor.

2. Name brand vs off brand, sorry no matter how rich I ever become or do not, I buy what works, not based on name or advertising. And if you wear your shoes every day the soles will bust up no matter how much you spent, that is a sign of a good thing, kids SHOULD go use those shoes, not sit locked up for hours twiddling their thumbs or getting calluses on theri fingers from computer games (jumpman gave me rather callused hands at one time .) - course if you use duct tape to repair them cause you would rather have dinner than new shoes, then you might be poor.

3. Stupid, lazy ect. Mainly that is attitude and speech, no one said you had to talk rudly or poorly regardless of where you live. Speak english be respectful and work, sure people will be suprised, thats cause if you did you would be in the miniority of American regardless of income! Oh and yeah choices you make at 14 can and will be held against you in the court of life, so start raising your kids NOW, not waiting for the magic age of 18 for them to mature.

4. Getting out/getting better/staying, that is poor self esteam mostly, not to mention being focused on the mud not the stars. Though I would say a non abusive relationship just cause his bed is warmer than the car...borderline. (it was a lot more comfy than mine is today..)

5. on the ones you picked out:

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs. -I would think that is a good thing reagrdless of income, if you don't know you might end up paying more than something is worth among other things, regardless of total loot availible.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away. - actually that is more likely a fear of the dentist . but I do understand not going for cost (I didn't for eons, try mouthwash, kills germs that cause the infection), oh and MANY people wait for hours in the ER, thats what they are like, sorry, less you are going to die in those 6 hours, the Drs will be busy taking care of the heartattack patients who might.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last. - ok if it is raisin bran yes, if it is chocolate cocopuffs or whatever, no sorry. If you are in the car without the cereal then you are poor.

Being poor is off-brand toys. - how about poor is no toys? come to think of it I feel pretty sorry for many of my kids friends that have more toys than they know what to do with, poor kids can't get a grip with all the clutter.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you. - then why are they helping? And if you think of it, we rely on strangers quite frequently, I suppose the cops are there for back up but if every one but us decided to break the law, there arn't enough cops to keep themselves safe muchless all of us.

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner. - nah thats just a desire not to cook , actually being poor is closer to hoping they invite you to spend the night. warmer and all that than the car or street.

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere. - so all hard working people are poor? you arn't rich unless you are lazy?

Sorry but most of the stuff sounds like a cranky spoiled person busy railing at the world for being hard, life ain't fair, it aint easy, and yeah lots of it sucks, now get over it quit worrying about brands and go feed your kids. If you can't do that, THEN you are poor, go get help if you can, mysympathies and prayers regardless.

But I expect many disagree with me, I am rather cynical in my old age (of 26) And while this person may disagree, I am rich, and have been most of my life

BTW if you scroll down far enough you find some REAL examples of being poor.Being poor is one meal a day, if that. (among a few more, gee I wish I were rich examples)

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: Being Poor

Being poor is a subjective thing. I grew up as one of ten kids but never realized we were poor because most other folks we knew were in the same boat.

I do know what rich is. You know you're rich when you have to think of ways to spend your money!

[jmjj215]

Re: Being Poor

It's all in your state of mind.

[PennyPincher]

Re: Being Poor

I disagree with ALOT of the lines ~ several are below:
I think alot of these can be blamed upon being frugal, wise, or

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs. I know what everything costs, and I'm fortunately not poor.

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV. This is a normal reaction of children ~ although it's frustrating...

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away. Don't we all wish for this?

Being poor is living next to the freeway. Most land gets developed these days ~ and there are some nice CONVENIENT places located near the freeways.

Being poor is off-brand toys. I call this being frugal and wise.

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support. I call this appropriate, and mom getting what she deserves for the family.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash. I have done this before too ~ why waste good stuff?

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk. We are all judged ~ it doesn't mean you're poor.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid. I am blonde, 100% Polish, and was a cheerleader ~ not poor, but this applies to me!

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar. Isn't this just smart shopping?

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket. Statistics tell me not to...

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so. Seems pretty normal to me...


Okay, some of them were valid and I hate to see people struggle so desperately, but just because many in our society can be wasteful doesn't mean that the definition of 'poor' has changed.

[shengmei]

Re: Being Poor

Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

I don't think so. I think my kids will not watch cartoon network. All the advertising on cartoon network is ridiculous
Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.


It is possible to buy a good used car for $800
Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.


It is quite true, actaully. I had to wait for a year before I could take a wisdom tooth out. The wisdom tooth had geen growing horizontally for a year.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.

That is not a big deal. Few people actually enjoy entertaining kids day after day.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.


That is what homeschooling is for, to spare kids of the pain and humiliation.

Being poor is living next to the freeway.


Actually, any place is livable if you have a good way to soundproof your house.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.


Off-brand raison brans are quite tasty

Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.


That is what family are for

Being poor is off-brand toys.


Barbies and legos come with such tiny parts. They get lost quickly--forcing people to buy them again and again. They create a lot of clutter in the house, and they are a choking hazard.

Bigger, off-brand toys are much better and safer

Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.


In most parts of the country, one only needs one.

Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.


It is not a good idea to leave cash on a table, period.

Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.


That is true. However, everybody wants their kids to grow into tall and handsome adults.

Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.


Stealing is wrong

Being poor is Goodwill underwear.


My local Dillards sometimes have 90% off sales. It actually could have prices cheaper than Goodwill. Goodwill is not very cheap.

Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.


It depends on how good the soundproofing is and how much you like the people who live with you.

Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.


I have a pair of Ralph Lauren boots that I got from Dillards for $20 two years ago. I wear them everyday and they are still as good as new.

Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.


Again, that is what homeschooling is for.

Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.


It really is.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.


That is true.

Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.


That is true.

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.


That is true

Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.


Actually, I did that when I was a child during the typhoon season.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.


That depends on how good the neighborhood is.

Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.


Cockroaches are not that bad.

Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.


Yes, it does make a difference.

Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.


Who care about those losers, anyway?

Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.


That is true

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.


Rich people have domestic violence issues, too.

Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.


That girl is not worth talking to in the first place.

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.


Even rich people want to be invited for dinners.

Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.


True, but it can also happen around universities.

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.


That is why it is good to learn how to talk in the first place.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.


A raise is not just about money. It is about validation. It is a huge confidence boost.

Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.


Books are way overrated. Most people who buy books only read it once or twice.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.


TRUE

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.


Just nuke the burger

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.


True

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.


It never happened to me

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.


It never happened to me

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.


True. However, I miss those days when my mother waited with me. Those were the finest hours of my childhood.

Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.


Rich people buy used stuff also. Rarely you see anybody buying a brand new airplane.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.


I never understood the difference, anyway. All ramen noodles taste the same.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.


I made good choices when I was 14. I came to America.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.


Extremely true. It can also happen to rich people also. It happens a lot especially around weddings when people tend to get really upset at each other.

Being poor is knowing you're being judged.


People judge other people all the time. The rich celebrities are judged every second.

Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.


I love the community Santa

Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.


It is 50 cents per minute, whiche equals $30 an hour

Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.


True, but many people marry rich guys for their fancy houses

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.


It is a regressive tax.

Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.


True

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.


Rich kids do that also

Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.


Extremely true

Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.


It is also true for any student

Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.


I would rather starve than get a loan like that.

Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.


There is nothing wrong with that. Artists actually make plenty of money.

Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.


True, although another used futon mattress would really help.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.


How about volunteers?

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.


True

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.


True

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.


False. Education makes everything better

Being poor is running in place.


False

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.

True

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: Being Poor

Stop. My family grew up poor. Mom and Dad both worked. As soon as we got older we all worked part time. My first job was working in a grocery store for a $1 dollar an hour. I busted my butt to make that dollar. I got two dollars to keep and the rest went to my folks.

One of my fringe benefits was the boss letting me take day old rolls home to my family. We'd freeze the rolls and then heat them in the oven for use.

I remember meals where the meat was far and between. Seconds were something people on television dealt with. We also rarely had left overs. Whatever was on sale and/or in season is what we ate.

Pop always made sure we had a pair of shoes for school and Sundays and a pair of inexpensive snaekers for everything else. I remember hating getting a hole in my shoe on a Monday or Tuesday. I had to use a piece of cardboard or whatever else I could find to plug the hole until Friday rolled around. Pop then took the shoes to the local shoemaker and would get them back the next day so we'd be ready for Sunday services.

My jeans were full of holes. ( This was before it was fashionable). Hand me downs were a way of life. We never had a car. We never went away on vacation. We never had enough of anything except love.

I would not trade my childhood for all the wealth in the world. My family and I were wealthy in things that are truly important. We all finished High School. 5 of us completed college.
We worked and took loans to get through college.

Poor? Materially when I was younger. Choose to get educated and work hard and you need not remain so. All of my brothers and sisters are doing well and living in the suburbs.
America is truly a place where you can get ahead. My brothers and sisters are the proof of that.

[meaghanchan]

Re: Being Poor

I think many of you guys are missing the point of this piece. It's an essay- albeit one in list form. It attempts to describe the experience of being poor. It doesn't mean people who aren't rich don't know the price of every item, or don't hope the toothache goes away. But the unspoken thing in these lines is the because I have to. I know the price of yogurt at every supermarket I go to because I eat a lot of yogurt, and it's better to spend $0.50 rather than $1.00. But when you have to know the price of every item- because the difference between $0.50 yogurt and $1.00 yogurt is going to break you- you're probably not that well off financially.

You can choose to take apart every single thing in the piece and decide you disagree with it. But I think that taken as a whole, it conveys what it's like to be poor in America. And I think that was its aim.

The thing that, to me, says everything, is that last line:

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.

Yeah.

There's a lot of stuff between the lines here that you aren't going to see if you sit and dissect every little line to see if it's "true" or "false". Does this piece capture the experience of being poor? Seems from the comments on his blog, most people who've been poor think that it does.

[jaksilee]

Re: Being Poor

I can see alot of these from my younger years. My family (my mom, sis and I) had a period of time that if it didn't come from the food pantry then we didn't have it! I can tell you that there were times when we would get only dayold bread and the goverment cheese and 10lbs of pepperoni ends (there was a meat packing plant that donated them) and we would eat that in as many ways as you can think of. Other times we would be asking for whatever veggies they could give us and they would think that we needed more donuts! I can tell you that I loved peperoni before that and hated liver, now I hate pepperoni and love liver (after eating 5lbs of it) so you can say my tastes have been molded from those times. We also had a rule that whatever milk mom could buy would only for cooking, not for drinking. Mom would save $5.00 from her paychecks all month to take us to taco bell once a month and we could get one $0.79 item and a small pop for all of us to share.

Thank you for making me think of this...it lets me know that the hard timse I am having now are nothing compaired to then!

I forgot too, at this same time we had no fridge or stove. we kept what little food we had in a cooler out in the snow and cooked on a pizza maker.

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Being Poor

Well as a child at one point we were very poor my dad was blinded on the job & mom was a sahm back then it was almost not even an option women just stayed home yay know so things got tight at one point & at another time we were pretty well off & to be honest I think the whole family was happier poor!! When my dad started his business & after a few years it really took off thats when alot of problems began. And my parents ended up divorced.

And for my own family & since becoming an adult I would say when I first started off I was poor a single mom with no help from dds dad or anyone else just myself working to support her & now I am married & dh makes a good salery & I am working again I think I was happier when I just started out & I think I was probably pretty poor then but never felt like I was dont get me wrong I love my whole family very much but think if we were poor again we would be happier!!

I would also like to add I have never felt poor not one day in my life I only look back thinking geez we were poor but at the time never thought anything of it & thanks to boards like these the last few years when things were tight they never felt like they were this board gave me hope!! I would also like to say as long as you have a roof & family or friends & some food you will never be POOR.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Being Poor

I think the fact that the 'essay' had so many things that are not because of being poor, it took away from the real horrors of being truly poor. (IE lacking the neccessities of life)

And I think the atitude of 'poor me' is part of the problem with many, 'poor me my shoes arn't X brand' humph, that ain't a real problem with money it is a problem with greed (yours and the company making them)

Priceplus and Jaksilee both have real stories of being poor, food being scarce. I actually don't, while I can't say I liked what the food bank gave, I can say we always had plenty of something to eat. (though I think needing the food bank counts as poor) And we always had a place to stay, beyond that I was spoiled with love attention and what luxuries we got really counted. (course holes in jeans WERE fashionable in my youth .)

[byusteeler]

Re: Being Poor

There are people who are poor and happy and there are people who are rich and unhappy. Some of the funnest dates I have had with my husband were under $5 if not free. Some people got rich by knowing how much everything cost and buying off brand. And I am glad to invite my kids to dinner if I know their budget is tight (And they like being invited.) Usually though it is more a time issue with my daughter than a money issue she and her husband work full time and go to school full time so there is little time for shopping or cooking. Rich is not always about money.

[barbara L]

Re: Being Poor

In my opinion:

Being poor is never taking anything for granted.

Being poor is never hardly throwing stuff away. Even things that are truly never going to work again, first you remove all the screws.

Being poor is being grateful for the what you had when all you had to feed your four kids was two cups of uncooked rice and two eggs.

Being poor is snuggling in bed with four kids because it is cold and windy and you can't afford heat and your kids growing up to tell you to write a book because you told such good stories when they were little.

Being poor is sitting down and eating a meal together because there wasn't enough for everyone to make up their own eating schedule.

Being poor was learning who all the neighbors were in case one of the kids got sick and needed a babysitter so you wouldn't have to miss work.

Being poor was never thinking you were above doing any job. I cut onions, worked fast food and picked up cans on the side of the road.

Being poor was being able to account for every penny I had and knowing where I was going to spend it.

Being poor was never buyin anything on credit because I couldn't get approved.

[cercis]

Re: Being Poor

I've been thinking about the brown glass comment.

I lived in a city that swept the sidewalks. In the rich side of town and downtown. No where else. This was our tax dollars, but the rich got more benefit than we did. The argument was made that they paid more in property taxes, but that was quickly debunked because apartment houses pay as much and more in property taxes as they do.

The truth is, the rich get more because they are in the position to demand more. They get respect simply because they have money.

Being poor (IME) is knowing that if something goes missing in a classroom, you will be the first suspect, even though you've never stolen anything in your life. And even though the richer kid next seat over has been caught stealing multiple times. It's knowing that if you do steal from someone in your class, you will be expelled, but if the rich kid does it, the school won't do more than talk to him in the principal's office.

Being poor is knowing that if you are assaulted it will be considered your fault because you never should have been there in the first place.

It's knowing that when your apartment is broken into, the police will not come until you've called several times and then they'll say "well what do you expect living in this neighborhood?". It's knowing that the police will be rude and surely to you.

It's paying more for insurance, be it health, car or renter's insurance. Partly based on your address and your "risk factor".

It's hearing the kid who inherited a ton of money tell you that there is no class divide and all you have to do is work harder.

[miclason]

Re: Being Poor

financially, most of my childhood was "upper middle class" and my teenage years were "middle class" because of the war...socially, we were always "high class", mingling with the richest people in ES because of our surname...
But, being poor (REALLY poor) in a "third world country" really means that a family of 4 might get 1 egg and 2 tortillas for lunch, and that will be the only food for the day...and not knowing whether there will be anything at all for the next day...a large percentage of the population here in ES is severly malnourished... it means you have no access to BASIC services which most of us take for granted (like WATER)....you see kids, not only in the countryside, but even here in San Salvador, that have to walk for miles to go find water and then carry it back home...no running water, no toilets, just a hole in the ground, if you are lucky...I see women have to walk for miles to find a river or water source to wash their family's clothes...Electricity is a luxury for the poor here...and I don't mean it's expensive, I mean not everyone has electricity in their houses...Being poor here means your house is made up of 5 large pieces of cardboard....it IS heartbreaking and it puts things in perspective for me...there are "shanty towns" on my way to work!!- I may have a lot of money problems, I may be broke, but I'm not poor (not even financially!)...and, yes, I try to give back to the community in any little way I can (and, unfortunately, I can't help much at the moment!)...being poor means hearing your children cry because they are hungry, and not having anything to give them...