Holiday shopping conversations driving me crazy

[disneysteve]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. This time of year, it seems that every conversation in my office revolves around who is buying what for whom and what stores have what items on sale what days. As if that weren't annoying enough, the things people are talking about buying are way too expensive relative to their incomes.

Keep in mind that I'm a physician and the people having these conversations are my office staff. They all earn less than 25% of what I earn but they are buying their kids the latest high tech cell phones, digital cameras, video game systems with all the accessories, one woman is getting her husband a satellite radio system for the car (with the monthly service charge that goes with it), etc.

We can't afford that stuff. How can they? Of course, the answer is that they can't. I know for a fact that 2 of the 3 of them have credit card debt. The third probably does, too. We have no retirement plan at work and I'd be willing to bet that none of them have any personal retirement plans either.

Christmas can't come fast enough so I can stop hearing all about their shopping escapades. My wife and I pretty much have a pact that we stay out of the stores from before Thanksgiving until after Christmas except for necessities and DW tries to take care of that stuff mid-week when she isn't working and the stores aren't too crazy.

Ok, rant over.

[LuxLiving]

Okay, so put on your EducatorSteve hat and have lunchtime finance-educational talks with them, or provide handouts or something.

[PrincessPerky]

I fortunately have frugal friends (ish) this year! So I don't have to hear any of that! That plus the anti-Santa sentiment of mine, that is well known, encourages folk not to bring it up .

I will ditto the staying out of stores till after Christmas (and quite frankly I am cautious the week after due to folk returning stuff)

[wincrasher]

Hey, not everyone is as miserly as you Steve! Surely you could "afford" a satelite radio in your car. You could "afford" a new car for that matter and get a satelite radio for "free".

A few hundred dollars per person is about the norm for Christmas presents. I read today that most people are just cutting back on the number of persons on their list. If you have kids at home this season, then cell phone, video games and digital cameras will be on your list. These items can be $50 or they can be $500 depending on your budget.

Personally I think the Christmas season is fun and enjoy the gift giving. The trick is not to lose your head.

[disneysteve]

A few hundred dollars per person is about the norm for Christmas presents.

Shouldn't the "norm" be based on your income and the number of people on your list?

[wincrasher]

It should be what you are comfortable with.

If you are a miser, then maybe you're sweating spending $20 on your own kid. If you have a big heart, then maybe $1000 on your sister's kid is not a problem.

Some people save all year, and some people put it on their credit card. Not smart to go into debt for Christmas, but alas, lots of people do it. Factory workers in China, I'm sure, are very grateful.

My budget for Christmas this year probably would make you choke. I am charging it to get the bonus points - but I'll happily pay it off when the bill comes.

Everything you do today has a future cost. That $5 burger for lunch today could be $500 in your retirement account in 2035. Was it worth it?

[disneysteve]

I guess we just aren't that into "stuff." For the most part, neither is our daughter. I think the most expensive item on her want list is $30-$40.

We also don't give gifts to many people. Between my wife and I, we give a total of 5 gifts to family members. I give a gift to everyone at work and my wife does the same (same thing for everyone so no major shopping involved).

We don't make a big deal about gift giving. My mom gets annoyed because she keeps asking what I want this year and I've got nothing to tell her. There was one item on my list (under $25) and I know my wife already picked it up.

[wincrasher]

Well it's not about the getting, it's about the giving.

Sometimes the best gift is the shared experience. The point is to make a gesture that shows that you care about the person.

It's up to you to determine how to express that feeling. Maybe it's a nice dinner out or going to see a show with mom. Or maybe it's a new Cadillac for your dear mother. That's entirely up to you.

[creditcardfree]

I usually spend about $150 for each of our girls and often, I admit, it is too much stuff! But we can afford it, we enjoy giving and they are very appreciative. We only buy gifts for birthdays and Christmas...otherwise it comes out of their allowance. This year they have given up individual gifts, so that as a family we can purchase a Wii. They understand their is a limit on the amount we spend, even if we can afford more.

I can see your point however in regards to the amount of time and energy we spend finding the right stuff. It is pretty sad.

[disneysteve]

I can see your point however in regards to the amount of time and energy we spend finding the right stuff.

I think that's more what bothers me. Today, they spent nearly the entire lunch break (2 hours) talking about shopping, looking at catalogs and website, comparing deals, printing stuff out, etc. When I want a gift, I'll shop around a bit online to find a good price and I'll buy it. I don't make a whole production of it.

[mom-from-missouri]

We have no retirement plan at work...

Why not? I've wondered that often as we have several physician friends in private practice and they have made the same comment.

Yet, we have friends who own a flooring company, a hot tub and pool business and a photography shop that do offer plans for their employees--yet they are not in a position to match anything as other companies are. Years ago when I had my daycare an investment rep came and talked to me about starting one for my employees--however, he came to late, as I had already decided to close or sell it. Even the small private Christian School my girls attended and I was on the school board at had a retirement plan for the staff.

Is it a doctor thing--different requirements or something to do with the higher libility/malpratice risks??

[disneysteve]

Why not? I've wondered that often as we have several physician friends in private practice and they have made the same comment.

Honestly, I think it is because many doctors are lousy business people. It is a different skill set that many doctors lack. They want to practice medicine, not run a business.

I can tell you that the doctor I work for fits that description perfectly and he'll be the first one to admit it. If I owned the practice, it would have a 401k as fast as I could set one up.

[irmanator]

funny I was just chatting with a friend who is buying LOTS of stuff for family and she works at the dollar general store, so I am pretty sure she doesn't make that much. Shameful.

My oldest tells me every years she doesnt want anything ..... My 15 yo. son is still hoping for a baby brother. (I am thinking that is more to tease than any actual want) My middle daughter, I told her if you could have any one gift what would you want...... she chose a $13 dvd

[lovcom]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. This time of year, it seems that every conversation in my office revolves around who is buying what for whom and what stores have what items on sale what days. As if that weren't annoying enough, the things people are talking about buying are way too expensive relative to their incomes.

Keep in mind that I'm a physician and the people having these conversations are my office staff. They all earn less than 25% of what I earn but they are buying their kids the latest high tech cell phones, digital cameras, video game systems with all the accessories, one woman is getting her husband a satellite radio system for the car (with the monthly service charge that goes with it), etc.

We can't afford that stuff. How can they? Of course, the answer is that they can't. I know for a fact that 2 of the 3 of them have credit card debt. The third probably does, too. We have no retirement plan at work and I'd be willing to bet that none of them have any personal retirement plans either.

Christmas can't come fast enough so I can stop hearing all about their shopping escapades. My wife and I pretty much have a pact that we stay out of the stores from before Thanksgiving until after Christmas except for necessities and DW tries to take care of that stuff mid-week when she isn't working and the stores aren't too crazy.

Ok, rant over.

Dr. Steve, well put!!!! My exact sentiments!

[lovcom]

Moreover, a lot of people spend too much for Christmas, then spend the following year paying the credit cards off...at 29.9%.

I just ordered two Amazon Kindle eReaders for my two daughters ages 19 & 21; something that can be educational and they can use through out the year. Total for both: $518.00 shipped.

I will buy 5 more gifts for 5 family members (parents, sidblings, etc) and pay about $45 each, then I'm done. All cash too; no CC usage.

So my total expenditure for Christmas will be only $743.00. There was a time long ago I'd spend $2,000+, but that was when I was younger and not so wise.

On the topic of shopping, what is it with all these foolish lemmings that rush out on Black Friday? Those prices can only come down as we get closer to the 25th, and of course after the 25th even lower too...what is it with these lemmings?!?!?!? Pendejos, to be sure!