Sell the house or cut back on Luxury things???

[disneysteve]

How do you end up with your house on the market if YOU aren't happy with that decision

Just because she isn't happy about it doesn't mean she hasn't agreed to go along with it. There have been plenty of things in my marriage that I wasn't gung ho about but I did anyway to keep the peace.

The wife of the couple we bought our house from was absolutely devastated that they were moving. She loved the house, loved the neighborhood, was friends with all the neighbors, etc. They were moving due to the husband's job changing. She cried all the way through closing. I'm quite sure she would say she wasn't happy with the decision.

[wnlbutterfly]

But the OP doesn't start out with "help, my house is on the market what can I do?". It is more like the hubby is just concerned about the economy, wants to reduce some expenses and then BAM...you learn the house is already on the market. Granted, in todays market it could be sitting there for several years, but it seems like a HUGE leap from what the thread started out.

Of course without knowing the numbers there isn't much else to post about, because we don't know if there is a huge shortage between income and debt, or if it is just a cost saving measure. It doesn't sound like the couple sat down and went over a budget or the bills or talked about ways to cut back that didn't include the house.

I suspect there is a LOT going on with the business that he hasn't told the OP yet, because that seems like a huge step if you are "concerned".

[disneysteve]

I suspect there is a LOT going on with the business that he hasn't told the OP yet, because that seems like a huge step if you are "concerned".

I agree.

[asmom]

I agree with all others about sitting down with your husband and finding out what is really going on. Is he feeling overwhelmed by the house payment?

But to answer your original questions, it's a choice between giving up a home for me and my children and giving up an expensive car and a club membership then obviously the luxury things should go first. If that doesn't allow you to save and sleep well at night, then you need to look at selling the house.

[autoxer]

If you can't afford the house without the business, then you can't afford the house and do need to move.

That's like saying if you can't afford the house without your job, then you can't afford the house. The business is his job.

But if you can sell the business and your husband get a job in the workforce making the same income the business generates, it would be better to do that.

As long as you are capable, then running the business can be more profitable than working for someone else.

It's about risk management and priorities. It sounds like your husband values the business above the house - which is understandable if he built the business. You naturally value the house above the business, because it's not your business and the house represents safety and security for you and your kids.

For the husband, the business represents safety and security for his family, because that is how he has provided all of those luxuries for his family.

By selling the house to save the business, you aren't really saving the business.

Why not? All businesses have good times and bad times. And there may be way more at stake than you realize. The business also supports the families of all of its employees. Saving the business could save many families from hardship.

I'd advise keeping the house and business finances separate, that way if the business fails, you're not losing everything. You file a bankruptcy on the business, not on the business and personal too.

That's not always possible. Owning a business is very personal. If you can put money in to weather the hard times, then you can take money out in the good times. It may not be consistent, but it can be a very good way of making a living.

Which is why I advise selling the business and having your husband get a job in the workforce making a comparable income.
If he can't get a job that will pay the bills, then you're living in too much house and the house needs to be sold. You can make due with 5 kids in a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath house. It won't be fun, it really won't, but it can be done.

He has a job and likely won't find a comparable income trying to work for someone else. The business has provided many luxuries for this family and they should save the business if they expect to live like that in the future.

[Brad VanGuard]

Sounds like you don't have all the information. If he's trying to cut out $2k a month, luxury items may not get you there.

You need to sit down with him and look over the numbers - "his" business belongs to the both of you and you should look at the books.

List out all your household expenses. Put everything out on a sheet of paper. How much savings do you have? How much in the business? What is the equity in your house? In the business?

It may be more dire a situation than you know.

GOOD POST! Wincrasher is right. If it does come to moving then make sure you find a good neighborhood that has kids in it your kids ages so that they'll be able to adapt and fit in well.

[Brad VanGuard]

Also, cutting down on luxury things might be a good idea anyways.

[cschin4]

I don't understand the "lose the business" comments. Can anyone "afford" their home if they are not employed? I don't get it? Unless you home is paid off and you are living on interest, nobody can really "afford" their home.
With a large family, moving is a bit more tricky than if just the 2 of them so I do think they need to think this out a bit especially if wife isn't on board with the concept.