Finances and Kids

[mommyof4]

We weren't in great shape- both of us in grad school, living in an apartment, etc., but my kids never went without the basic necessities of life, and they have turned out fine, and our finances are in good shape right now. I wouldn't have done it differently,either.

[Goldy1]

I was 25 when I got married. My hubbie was 29. WE had no student loan or cc debt and he had been in his home for a few years already with some equity. He had a decent paying job in design. I just was't ready for kids though.
Despite being college educated my jobs never paid much. However, they have helped us save a lot more.
WE just had a newborn about 7 years after our marriage. The only good thing about me making lower wages is that it was not hard to give up my income. not to mention my career satisfaction was low as well.
I miss working, but plan to go back in one to 4 years. HAving a second child would keep me not working longer, but that won't play much into my decision. I just like having one child.
It wasn't about mone for me. It was about being emotionally ready.

[wincrasher]

I haven't had any kids but I've known plenty who have. Here's what I've observed:

Kids need stabililty. That doesn't mean you have to be rich. You have to have a steady job with benefits. Mom and Dad need to be hard working and level headed without alot of drama.

Kids need a decent home. Nothing sadder than kids trying to play in an apartment building parking lot.

Parents need to be mature adults. The longer you wait to have kids and plan for it, the better off all will be.

Don't have 5 kids when you can only afford 3. It's not fair to them, nor to you.

[Inkstain82]

Kids need a decent home. Nothing sadder than kids trying to play in an apartment building parking lot.

My wife and I both did this. It bothered her quite a bit. It didn't bother me at all.

We're hoping that we can be in a house within a few years (the first little one comes in August) by the time he's old enough to need his own room, but if it doesn't happen, I won't worry about it.

[disneysteve]

Kids need a decent home. Nothing sadder than kids trying to play in an apartment building parking lot.

You've just dissed pretty much every family living in New York City. I see nothing at wrong with raising a family in an apartment. Just because there may not be a lawn outside the front door doesn't mean kids can't play in the lot, the street, the local park/playground, etc.

[tomer]

I suggest to check out your financial stuff before having a child.

[wincrasher]

You'll find nothing in my post that says you must have a suburban single family home with a yard.

I'm saying that you have to have a decent home and a place for the kids to play outside. An asphalt parking lot is not a decent place no matter the location. Some apartments have green spaces and playgrounds, many do not. Some are near parks, some are not.

If you've ever been to NYC you'd know there are parks, YMCA, school yards, etc., so there are options out there.

[disneysteve]

You'll find nothing in my post that says you must have a suburban single family home with a yard.

I'm saying that you have to have a decent home and a place for the kids to play outside. An asphalt parking lot is not a decent place no matter the location. Some apartments have green spaces and playgrounds, many do not. Some are near parks, some are not.

If you've ever been to NYC you'd know there are parks, YMCA, school yards, etc., so there are options out there.

Sorry if I misunderstood. Of course, I grew up in the city (Philadelphia) and even though we had lawns, more often than not, we played in the street or in the driveway behind our houses, so on asphalt or concrete.

[zetta]

For me, financial stability was the easy part. I was ready to buy a house with a large downpayment on my own in a HCOLA by age 27, and if I'd been married certainly could have afforded a child.

Finding the right person to marry took a long time, as did getting pregnant. (We met at 28, married at 30, and had our first child at almost 35.) The upside was by that time our income was sufficient to easily afford IVF and being a SAHM.