frustrated

[irmanator]

As much as i try I don't feel I am getting anywhere. I just got my husband car paid off and now my son had to get emergency root canal. He is just 14 but seems to be cavity prone. Of course i don't have my ef yet because stuff like this keeps happening. I have cancelled as much as i can of regular bills, like garbage (recycle, compost and take what is left to dump) and satellite.
Then my neighbor is taking down a tree that is half mine - right on property line down and wants my half next friday. when we had previous conversation on this I offered half with condition i needed a couple weeks to come up with it. (tree is dangerous and need to come down.) he said he was paying. So no big deal. but yesterday he says he wants half on friday or it is not coming down. the cost is very good for the size of tree etc. but less than 7 days notice makes it very hard.

And my husband seems to think he makes more than we do or somehow i can stretch it to spend like we do. I pay bills and try to get him to pay attn but he just pretends or doesnt get it. He told his parents we could participate in a family camping trip. i figured not so bad but no they don't camp in tents they use cabins with stoves and fridges. then w/out telling me he says that we can pay next week.

Thanks for letting me vent. i accept helpful criticism. thanks

[irmanator]

ok to clarify after rereading
husband and i just got married 1 year ago, I knew what i was getting but he is changing to my way of thinking but it is a slow process. He gets so excited to find things on sale it is almost cute. But when things come up like the root canal, he tells me not to get upset things will work out but with no suggestion on how to make it work. Just don't be upset. His comfort level about these things and mine is different. I want things to be paid off cause i don't like bills. He is more nonchalant about it. (getting better but still irritating)

[kork13]

Venting can be quite beneficial sometimes, so it's okay.

Can't really say much for the others, but as to your son, a couple ideas to help for the future, if I may... My family has always had dental problems (decalcification seems to be genetic), and I've recently started making headway against it.

First, take a hard look at your son's habits. How much sweets/sugary drinks does he really have, how often does he really brush/floss, and when? Sadly, the "scared straight" method can work pretty well for dental problems--if he's getting a root canal at 15, he'll likely have many more issues later on if he doesn't do everything he can to take care of his smile. I almost had to get one about a year ago, and it made me much more careful to always brush/floss/etc., almost totally cut out sweets/sodas/etc., and now it's become habit...which hopefully will forestall future problems.

Also, ask your dentist to prescribe him a fluoride gel that your son can brush on after brushing his teeth normally, right before bed. My dentist gave me some with 4x the fluoride than regular toothpaste (1.1% vs. .24%), and over the last year, using it almost every night has made a significant impact in keeping my teeth healthy... No cavities, strengthened enamel, and less sensitivity.

[maat55]

Hang in there, getting nowhere is better than going backwards. Persistance will payoff.

[GREENBACK]

I want things to be paid off cause i don't like bills. (getting better but still irritating)

As long as you have that attitude I think you'll be fine. This is one case where hate is good(debt). It means you're keeping track of things. The road to financial freedom is bumpy and full of potholes. Keep driving with determination and it eventually gets much smoother and the small "emergencies" become just that.....small!

[snafu]

I empathize with having a husband whose eyes glaze over whenever you try to talk about money. Desperation drove me to create a chart on flip chart paper [34" x 28"] & Sharpie copying the appearance of a cheque register showing Gross Income at top right. Non discretionary spending followed by what was actually spent for food, car, clothes, personal etc. I added to it as $$$ went. I taped this to the wall in the hallway, adjacent to our bedroom. If someone was visiting I moved it to the back of the bedroom door to protect our privacy.

One thing DH learned from this in-your-face experiment was that we had to set aside dollars for occasional or annuaL expenses. For example, I divide car insurance payment by 12 and set that amount aside ea. month so that when the bill is due January 2, the money is there, waiting. While we were creating an EF, it was necessary to give up eating out, plan meals from on-hand foodstuffs, and take on extra work. Perhaps instead of a spendy mother's day...the entire family could do a big clean-up job for your parents.

[irmanator]

Son has the toothpaste, I have the charts on bedroom wall, I think he forgets that he doesn't work at the place that paid 2x what he gets now. In his mind we can afford it. As for mothers day we just got potted plants at Lowes. My mom knows about being broke. His just likes me and accepts what i get her.

I went after i vented here yesterday and re-did the budget to include the new bill and the tree removal on top of the camping trip. All I can say is I am glad for the overtime right now even though it makes me miserable. We are doing 10 hr days plus saturdays.