wanting luxuries

[liveandchi]

it seems like a never ending thing with me. The more I have to scrimp and scrape just to pay for necessities, the more I desire luxury goods. maybe it's just a fantacy since there is no way that I can afford them, but it also makes me very envious of those that can afford them.

I would love to go on even a weekend vacation. I haven't done anything like that in over a year.

I would love to get a full body massage.

I would love to be able to go to the grocery store and buy what I want and not what is determined by my budget - when is the last time we had a nice steak?

I would love to have a high quality car that doesn't break down every six months.

I would love to be able to just go to the movies, buy popcorn and sodas and candy and not have to worry about it ruining my month budget.

Everyone here must think that I'm the biggest complainer. I'm just frustrated and posting here helps me to vent and settle down.

Re: wanting luxuries

that's exactly what this board, and we, are here for. <hug> We know how you feel. I feel lucky that I have mostly what I need, but I too wish I could splurge on the groceries and some pampering. That time will come, sooner or later. I am already betting that I'll be a cheapskate when I CAN afford it... I have come to hate spending money on anything that isn't necessary. I'm trying to chill out with that, just a bit. Have to enjoy life

[DivaJen]

Re: wanting luxuries

Everyone here must think that I'm the biggest complainer. I'm just frustrated and posting here helps me to vent and settle down.

I don't think that. Vent if it helps!

[baselle]

Re: wanting luxuries

I think you're saying in your situation what many people here are thinking in theirs. Its way more frugal to vent your feelings here than it is to stifle them which will ensure that you "go off the wagon." Can you treat yourself cheaply somehow?

[PrincessPerky]

Re: wanting luxuries

not sure if it will help, but when I am irritated and need a break, I find the cheapest splurge I can and take it. (after complaining for a time .)

spa ideas:
-milk bath (powdered milk and honey and scented oil in a tub, google for exact amounts) add half cup ish of finsihed mixture to warm bath, light some candles and soak.

-Sugar scrub, preferably applied full body by DH, though I am not sure there is enough sugar in the house for my pregnant body . (white sugar and olive oil, mix to spreading consistancy)

-oil massage olive oil stays around longer than comercial stuff, but it does have a soak in time, about 20 minutes, unless your SO likes the taste. (do it yourself if SO is not availible, still worthy of relaxation, stick with easy to reach body parts like legs.)

OUT ideas:
- park best with children to watch. pack a picnic lunch, Pnut butter sandwhiches are fun eaten on the ground. or have the picnic on the livingroom floor, drop downa blanket and enjoy the giggles of children (err you have children?)

-free museams or science centers they do exist, try googling them or asking your local homeschool group they often have a list of fun resources like that availible (google to find the group, then email a head coordinator if they don't have a website with the stuff on it.)

-people watching ok so you have to have a taste for it, but if you do, head to the food court or a outdoor cafe and have at it.

There are lots of things like that, just treat yourself, doesn't have to cost money (and in many ways cheap treats are better quality)

[miclason]

Re: wanting luxuries

I don't think you're the biggest complainer...it's just natural to want more....sometimes, not having luxuries makes you feel deprived...I, for one, miss my "full treatment" days at the beauty parlor...every six weeks I'd go for cut,color, treatment, styling, manicure, pedicure and facial...now, every two months I buy hair color in a box...What we do is we splurge for b-days (easy to plan ahead and put a little bit aside to do it!)...food is very important in our house, so we plan a fancy dinner (the b-day boy/girl gets to choose!)...and, I buy my daughter shoes, a new outfit, new pajamas - things that she needs- and wrap them as gifts...She also gets one new outfit, new pajamas and shoes on Xmas....

[pennywise]

Re: wanting luxuries

The people who want you to go into debt make you think you have to have these luxuries. Read the millionaire next door (free at your library) and you will find out that we do not buy luxuries, do not buy new cars, etc. We find satisfaction in doing the simple things in life. Budgeting is hard work and saving money can be done. I love the ideas posted by the previous person on baths, etc. Yes a park is free, bicycle ride for exercise and to save gas (daily I ride my bike to my daughters summer camp to pick her up, I am 50!) Quote from the wall street journal "people are killing themselves, they don't save any money and they put themselves at great financial risk in the name of instant gratification". Do not let your ego get in the way of your finances. Most foods you want to buy are not good for your body (think about it). The foods you can afford are. I grocery shopped today for less than $50 for a family of three for 2 weeks food. We eat only fresh foods and dairy. Taco bell beans are 50 cents a can this week at Meijer. 50% off taco bell family kits with buy 2 get $1 off your next order. See, shop price! Do not shop for what you want, shop price and stock up when the price is right. So, I purchased milk at $2 gallon, eggs on sale at 44cents limit 2, made 2 purchases. THE NAME OF THE GAME IS BEAT THE BUDGET. What you save on your groceries is waht you can buy a 25 dollar savings bond with, you will accumulate dollars, not STUFF.

[esmeralda]

Re: wanting luxuries

I agree with Princess Perky - a mini spa/long soak in the tub is a great way to feel pampered at a very low price. Its also just a good way to disconnect in general.

The other idea about reading something from the library about people who have already succeded also helps keep me on track when I feel like straying from my goals. Where your thoughts go, your actions will follow.

But sometimes the princess moments cannot be controlled. I've started doing research on personal care items that are rated highly, but are low in price. That way I feel like I'm splurging a little, but the monetary hit is small. Try e-pinions.com or delush.com. I've had a lot of success in finding some nice froo-froo girly things that didnt break the bank.

Though I've been pretty good about avioding the mall; it now feels kind of creepy to go there. Shopping on the internet is still tempting.

One more thing...I made a spreadsheet that shows how much I can pay things off monthly. I'm tracking just what the monthly payments will need to be to pay off each cc and be financially free. I'm four months away from the third of five cards. Its taken a while, but now that is my focus. I'm getting very excited. No amount of stuff can bring me that kind of happiness.

Hope this helps.

[Fern]

Re: wanting luxuries

"it's just natural to want more....sometimes, not having luxuries makes you feel deprived.."

Well, i don't really think it's "natural" to want more. Wanting more is a result of the millions advertisers spend to make their products as seductive as possible. I find I am fighting a constant mental battle between wanting to save money and wanting "things" i see in magazines, online or TV. Americans already enjoy one of the highest standards of living in the world, so won't an ordinary color TV do instead of a pricey Hi def one? Advertisers will make the case that you simply can't live without the latest this or that, and it's so easy to get swept up in that stuff. If we all could turn off the TV and steer clear of the ads that barrage us daily, i think we'd all be better off. This is all coming from someone who has made their living as a marketing writer, too!

[Fern]

Re: wanting luxuries

I think that spending money is all about making choices. Each time you make a purchase, you're making a decision to convert the money you have into some tangible product or service. Hopefully that means you feel that in the conversion, you're making a worthwhile trade.

To rein in spending, after i've done all my comparison shoppping and am ready to make the transaction, i stop myself for just one more minute and ask myself, is this item worth the money I have to spend to get it? Will it continue to be "worth it" next week or next month or next year? Is the use or enjoyment I get from it just a short-lived experience, like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, or a longer term experience, like a chair that will be used daily for years to come? Now sometimes, that ice cream cone will be worth every penny, so I'm not saying make your decisions to buy based solely on the length of time it will last. It's a subjective choice and for everyone it will be different. But forcing yourself to examine every purchase like this may help you realize you can do without something today and instead build for a more secure financial future

[Bluezy]

Re: wanting luxuries

Let's see....

How about inquiring about massage school in your locale? They would offer affordable treatments by advanced students. Perhaps this would work for you.

Also know that high quality cars and top end luxury vehicles break down hun. The trick is to find something dependable, even if it means buying something different. A vehicle payment might be cheaper than immense expenses from constant car repairs.

(((((Hugs)))) we all need a good vent though. Cheers hun!

[PrincessPerky]

Re: wanting luxuries

"it's just natural to want more....sometimes, not having luxuries makes you feel deprived.."

Well, i don't really think it's "natural" to want more. Wanting more is a result of the millions advertisers spend to make their products as seductive as possible. I find I am fighting a constant mental battle between wanting to save money and wanting "things" i see in magazines, online or TV. Americans already enjoy one of the highest standards of living in the world, so won't an ordinary color TV do instead of a pricey Hi def one? Advertisers will make the case that you simply can't live without the latest this or that, and it's so easy to get swept up in that stuff. If we all could turn off the TV and steer clear of the ads that barrage us daily, i think we'd all be better off. This is all coming from someone who has made their living as a marketing writer, too!

Just having that TV is a luxury . I think one of the problems with America is the whole assumption that 'everyone has a TV' well everyone doesn't, there are lots of people who would gladly trade that TV for 3 squares a day, so long as I always have food on the table and a roof over my head, I am spoiled compared to many, and I even get 'convenience foods' a lot more than I need. (canned beans for those days when DH has to cook, since mom is to sick, dry ones are cheaper, but take longer, he isn't home early enough for that)

But I still want my bath once in a while . (hey indoor plumbing is a luxury too!) And I still pine for some things (shelving is my current wishlist.)

[marglo]

Re: wanting luxuries

I think no matter how much you have there are always some things you want. It's part of what keeps us going...our dreams. That massage sounds good to me too! I'd like to go to a nice salon and get a really good haircut...and a facial now and then. Recently I have been getting regular manicures and pedicures, wax jobs...didn't use to spend the money on myself like that, but I finally decided to just do it.

I'd like to be able to eat out in a nice restaurant once a week, every week. I'd like to be able to get a nice new car (one I really want!) without having to be concerned about making the payments! Most of all I'd like to not have any debts!

I'd like to travel more and further without worrying about the cost!

But then I look at my life and think it's pretty good really...I have everything I need and many things I want. There are a lot of people who have much less and who struggle with serious health issues etc. and I start feeling thankful again! :-)