Am I wrong to ask for rent?

[PrincessPerky]

It is a family situation not a monetary one..Dude sounds like he is rather immature...

You offered the daughter and granddaughter a place to stay..no obligation to the dog. Depending on how old the granddaughter is..have her walk the dog.

Also don't ask them to 'pitch in' ask them to do specific items..clear the table, sweep the floor..many folk have no idea what they aught to be doing, especially if failure to act means the chore is taken care of, you would be surprised at how oblivious folk can be to housework.

'don't smoke around the kids' and "you may smoke here or here", are two different things....again folk can be oblivious, be specific with your complaints.

Even though they are of adult age, they are not acting like adults, so treat them a bit more like teens. IE explain what they did wrong, set limits, boundaries ect. Forgive transgressions, but explain what is wrong, don't assume he knows. (I can't tell you how many adults lie, cheat, are rude, and don't know it is wrong!)

But of course do be open to their adult tendencies should they arise.

[myrdale]

He knocked up my wife’s daughter, and now has a job cooking for $10.00 per hour.... If it was just my wife’s daughter and my granddaughter, I wouldn’t ask for it but this guy has been a terrible roommate.

First, it takes two to tango, he didn't "knock up" your wife's daughter, she got herself "knocked up".

Second, if your going to stand on the position that she is your wifes daughter, then the child is also your wife's granddaughter, not yours.

Third, when this gentleman married your wife's daughter, like it or not he became family, even more so now that he has fathered a child with her. You point out a whole list of his sins, from sleeping late to ruining your jeans. You got a son in law now and you just got to deal with some of it.

Fourth, what has your wife's daughter been doing this entire time? You place all the blame on him but has she actually done anything at all herself? The over all point is it ain't necessarly just him, it is her too. The 5 year old is not an excuse to not work, she could work nights and he could work days or vise versa.

Now, for the original subject, I would not charge rent for a short term stay. I think them paying living expenses is acceptable. HOWEVER I would lay down the rules of the house. If he does not want to live within those boundries he can get his butt out. After they'd lived with you for 6 months, I might change my tune on the rent situation.

I do like the suggestion of being a little more pro-active on finding them an appartment. No it really shouldnt be your responsibility to do this type of leg work, but it is in your favor to get the lot of them out of your house and on their own as quickly as possible.

Lastly, the child is 5, how did they survive for the past 5 years? Did they live with his folks?

[tripods68]

Keep everyone else home and secured while kicking him out the door. That's probably the only solution while he tries to secure a good paying job.

But in fairness, you did asked them to moved in. So you are not blameless in this whole mess either. Now its hasn't worked out the way you expected it, its now became the "boyfriend's fault". That's way too convenient. You either let them stay home (rent free) until their financial condition improved while enjoying your grandkids company, OR kick them out all at once because the boyfriend is irresponsible. Take your pick.


I'm a bit harsh on my comment because I was raised in a big family where "help" is always around.