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- Cant afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
and press them into your eyes.
- Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply
changing your name to match your existing plate.
- Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to
the object you wish to view.
- A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
- Save money on expensive Hookers. Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.
- At weddings tie each piece of confetti with elastic so its resuable.
- Rinse out used condoms in boiling water to reuse (wait until they cool down though)
- If you are disabled and use an electric wheelchair, once a week go to one of the big superstores then to the freezer section and recharge your wheelchair while pretending to 'browse' the stock.
- Don't get a mobile phone... get a carrier pigeon instead. They don't need topping up, they don't ring at inconvenient times AND you can eat it if it stops delivering messages correctly. It will crap a lot though! and they get sim cards stuck in their beaks.
- Put wallpaper up with Blue Tac instead of paste. That way if you move you can take it with you.
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