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My dad is bailing me out again, against my will kinda. I asked him a question about a problem with my car and commented that this was a sucky time cause i really couldn't afford this right now. So he took it into his own hands and sent a tow truck and had it brought to his trusted mechanic. I told him i would pay him back at tax refund time and he wont let me. I know this is not so terrible a problem however it interferes with my need to be a responsible adult. But i can't exactly refuse it right now. I am 37 and he is retired and 72 I don't want to take his money permenantly. what would you do about making him take money?
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Buy him a nice gift at some point and be gracious of his gift (car repair) to you."Those who can't remember the past are condemmed to repeat it".- George Santayana. -
Are you building a small EF to keep this from happening in the future. I would also save and insist he take my money for the repairs, after the EF. Allowing him to fix your problems is part of the reason that at 37 you needed his help.Comment
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Better advice than mine maat55 but still do the gift when you can."Those who can't remember the past are condemmed to repeat it".- George Santayana.Comment
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um the reason i am uncomfortable with this is because he hasn't really done this before, but last month i repaired the heater core (450$) then I took it in for inspection not expecting anything wrong because it is a decent car. Was told it would need springs and someother stuff totalling 1200 so i was content to park it and carpool to work till taxes. Then he took over that stuff got fixed and the only reason i even told him about this was because i thought new problems were due to to bad workmanship on his mechanics repair so since he handled that and mechanic did not know me i felt he should take it back. but it was not negligence.
long story short--- he never used to do much of anything for us since the divorce when i was 5. so I didnt expect him to fly in and be my savoiur and am uncomfortable with it. I am used to taking care of myself maybe in a backwards way - but struggled on my own--Comment
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Does he live close? How did he know of the problem? If you are uncomfortable, save up an EF, save for the repairs, pay him back, then thank him nicely. Or you could do as GREENBACK suggested and give him a gift. Under the circumstances, a gift may be nice.Comment
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yea I will try that my brother says he will let him pay for taking out to dinner so if he still refuses money i will do that i guess. Also i have been trying to get an ef but everytime i get close something breaks.Comment
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It seems like problems come in spirts, hopefully you will get ahead of them soon.Originally posted by irmanator View PostComment
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Maybe he is doing it because he feels he needs to do it for himself--like maybe he is trying to make up for it now????Originally posted by irmanator View Post
I would have a heart to heart with him. If he can afford it, and it makes him feel better, let him do it this once. It may make him feel better about not being there much before. As we age, we see things differently and maybe he is just needing to make peace with himself...Comment
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