Looks like I might be going about this solo...

[Fizgig]

Maybe focusing on the deposits and money right now is a coping strategy (distraction), but please remember to tend to yourself. Long baths, walks, whatever soothes you. In the long run the money won't matter - take care of your heart. (hug) I'm sorry.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Fizgig...you are right. I also feel like I just want things sorted out...I like to plan and know what is coming...

[ScrimpAndSave]

I told my dad about it. I was really worried that he would be upset...he is just sad for me. He put $2,000 down on the venue and I told him I would like to pay him back, but he said not to worry about it.

I'm just looking at my future thinking...what now? I guess it is good that what I had set aside for the wedding is now just my money now. Also, I am not marrying into $140,000 worth of student loan debt. I know money isn't the really important thing right now...but I guess I just feel like I have to have some peace and some order in my life.

[nitemarecooper]

Sorry about that but ...

I'm also $10,000 into it...nonrefundable.

ugh

Sorry that happened, but I know of a story where someone was very close to the wedding when one side called it off, it was just converted into a massive party. The attitude was "why waste the money and opportunity to party". Might not help hearing that, but it's the best I could say.

Nitemarecooper

[MiikeB]

My SO just ended it too...no wedding planned but we had discussed it kinda before...I know how you must feel, the pain is unreal.

[Broken Arrow]

Also, I am not marrying into $140,000 worth of student loan debt. I know money isn't the really important thing right now...but I guess I just feel like I have to have some peace and some order in my life.

I'm really glad that you feel this way, because $140k is a big deal, no matter how you swing it.

Perhaps it would also help to think of it in terms of that it's better now than, say, later. Say, perhaps 3 kids and 8 1/2 years later, for them to all of a sudden decide that they've found someone else that is the love of their life, and oh by the way, you're a terrible person that's why I had to leave you, can I keep the car, house, and full custody of the kids?

Hehe. Seriously though, please take care. You deserve so much better, and now you'll get that chance.

[DC Metro Crab]

Really sorry to hear this.

[disneysteve]

I bought my bridesmaids gifts at Boscovs...and that was over 90 days ago so I can't return the items...but maybe I can get store credit and then use it right away just in case the store closes...

You bought your bridesmaids gifts well over a year before the wedding? You do like to plan ahead, don't you.

You can certainly return them and get a store credit. Just go in without a receipt.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Disneysteve,

That is what I was going to do. I did plan everything in advance...I totally wasn't expecting anything like this to happen. What REALLY gets to me...is that if it were 5 days ago, I could get my cash back. It was about $350.

I'm just so angry and pissed off and just feel jaded in general...which I guess is normal.

I guess I can't afford my dad's house after all...which is really devastating. I will have to look for something cheaper. If I can save up around $50,000-$60,000 I can get into a home that is $200,000 and easily afford the payments...that would probably be a small 1950's cape cod...ugh. I hate my life.

[ScrimpAndSave]

I emailed my officiant...I only sent him $100 deposit, but I figured that it was a start. This is his response:

I am sorry that your wedding is called off and even more sorry that your personal life is off balance. I am sure things will come together as they are meant to be. Unfortunately, the deposit is designed to hold your date because I decline other wedding requests. That said, if I do book another wedding for that date, I will be glad to send back your deposit at that time.




Nice priest, huh?

[SacredFaerie]

Disneysteve,

That is what I was going to do. I did plan everything in advance...I totally wasn't expecting anything like this to happen. What REALLY gets to me...is that if it were 5 days ago, I could get my cash back. It was about $350.

I'm just so angry and pissed off and just feel jaded in general...which I guess is normal.

I guess I can't afford my dad's house after all...which is really devastating. I will have to look for something cheaper. If I can save up around $50,000-$60,000 I can get into a home that is $200,000 and easily afford the payments...that would probably be a small 1950's cape cod...ugh. I hate my life.

I'm sorry that you can't afford your dad's house. Think about it this way though: It might have been hard to afford it anyway with all that law school debt.

Maybe you could sell the gifts on ebay if there's nothing else at the store you want.

I emailed my officiant...I only sent him $100 deposit, but I figured that it was a start. This is his response:

I am sorry that your wedding is called off and even more sorry that your personal life is off balance. I am sure things will come together as they are meant to be. Unfortunately, the deposit is designed to hold your date because I decline other wedding requests. That said, if I do book another wedding for that date, I will be glad to send back your deposit at that time.




Nice priest, huh?

If he hasn't declined any other weddings for that date he should really give you back the deposit. I mean I can totally see hanging onto it if he's already declined other weddings but I doubt that. What a creep.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Thanks...I'm not trying to throw a pity party here...I just want to get things in order and this is the best place to do so.

I thought it was a pretty jerk move for him to do this as well...I am giving him TONS of notice! What the heck?

[maat55]

I emailed my officiant...I only sent him $100 deposit, but I figured that it was a start. This is his response:

I am sorry that your wedding is called off and even more sorry that your personal life is off balance. I am sure things will come together as they are meant to be. Unfortunately, the deposit is designed to hold your date because I decline other wedding requests. That said, if I do book another wedding for that date, I will be glad to send back your deposit at that time.




Nice priest, huh?

A good priest would fill the spot this far out, a bad priest will consider it a paid holiday.

[Wink]

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am new here, so please forgive me if this seems in bad form but, this wedding was for BOTH of you. He called it off. Isn't he responsible for at least half of the money you stand to lose, even though you and your family put the money out? Just a thought.

[ScrimpAndSave]

I don't know..he doesn't have the resources to do so...