HELP!!! Wedding help...

[ScrimpAndSave]

The planning for my wedding is going well...


I have 6 bridesmaids...and I have heard people at work telling me that if I am having them in my wedding, I should be paying for their dresses. Is this right? No one ever paid for my bridesmaids dress! I never heard of a bride doing this...I am not forcing anyone in the wedding...what the heck???

[kork13]

I'm with you, have never heard that the bride is expected to pay for the bridesmaid dresses or the groom for the grromsmen tuxedos.

I have always paid for my own tuxedo when I have been a groomsmen.

Ditto, it's always been my own suit/tux, and my friends who were recently bridesmaids in another friend's wedding also bought their own dresses/shoes/all that other madness.

[ScrimpAndSave]

OMG I am so glad you two responded. I want to find very simple dresses that are under $150 so that they don't have to pay a lot at all...but I felt like...omg...there is more that I need to spend and I didn't *plan* on it.

Thank you. I never had a bride pay for my bridesmaids dress and I NEVER had a problem paying for it myself...whether I was going to wear it again or not.

[ScrimpAndSave]

People were actually saying, "I would be embarassed to ask a bridal party to pay for their own attire!"

WHAT?

I am not forcing them in the wedding...if they can't afford it, they don't need to be in it!

[gamecock43]

No, dresses are usually paid for by the bridesmaids. Hotel rooms are usually paid for by the bride. Hair and makeup is up to the brides discretion if she wants to pay for that. Some brides provide hair/ makeup as a bridesmaid gift.

[Seeker]

People were actually saying, "I would be embarassed to ask a bridal party to pay for their own attire!"

WHAT?

I am not forcing them in the wedding...if they can't afford it, they don't need to be in it!

Refer them to this site:

Bridesmaid Dresses for all your bridesmaid dresses needs!

Just because they cannot afford it should not mean that they cannot attend the wedding...

But, quote:

The bride should give each person a graceful opportunity to decline if they cannot afford to participate or have other personal reasons for needing to decline without making them feel obligated in any way.

[Gruntina]

I been in a few weddings and of half of them, bridesmaid dresses were paid for by the bride.

It really depends. I do recall at one time I was a college student while the bride was established careerwise and she paid for my dress. I think it depends on age, maturity and how well you know your friends as how this is done.

[mom-from-missouri]

I was a bridesmade twice, and once the brides mom made the dresses, and the other time the bride paid for the dress.
My SIL has been in 3, and each time the bride paid for the dress and shoes.
That may be a custom that varies according to what part of the country you are in.

[Cassandra]

I've always heard that the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses and shoes but the bride and groom give each person in the bridal party a nice gift for participating.

But, like mom-from-missouri said, that could vary upon where you live.

[skydivingchic]

I've only been a bridesmaid in one wedding. She paid for the bridesmaid's dresses as well as our hair updos. Makeup was done by a family friend for all the bridal party as her wedding gift to the couple.

[Coleroo]

I am accustomed to the bridesmaids (and groomsmen) paying for their own attire too... (i live in south carolina).

[Compte de Yoyo]

I'm from San Francisco, California and it's not frowned upon at all for bridesmaids to pay for their own outfits and airfare but it's considered their gift to you in addition to their time.

However, the three weddings I've participated in (2 close friends, 1 cousin) everything was paid for by the bride (or bride/groom/family) from make up, dresses, shoes, transportation and jewelry. In my own wedding, we paid for everything as well! Each of us married in our late 20's or early 30s though.

If I didn't have a say what so ever in what they choose to wear (other than common sense and decency, etc) then they would have paid for their dresses but I had a color theme in mind so I looked at them doing me a favor (wearing something they might not like/ever wear again = being decorations *heh*). Like, not only was I inviting them to a party to celebrate with me, they had to "work" too. Obviously I was happy to help out as a bridesmaid and my friends didn't mind me going crazy for six months but that's just a bonus

[Johansen8]

I've been in four weddings and in everyone of them, I have paid for my own dress. In all the etiquette materials I have read, it is customary for the women to pay for their own dresses and the men to pay for their own tuxes. But, if you have questions about who pays for what in the wedding both theknot.com and brides.com have articles and lists of etiquette on who pays for what.