Sometimes Family brings you down

[fruitbowlk]

You don't loan family Money. That's a no no. I had to learn the hardway. I loaned my brother $160 and he ignore me for two months because he didn't want to pay me back. After lending my sister money for 10 plus years Finally I stopped and I haven't heard from her in 5 months. So I don't give or loan out money anymore.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Well, I have loaned family money, but they paid it back. When I did not have money to lend and another sib needed money, I even dared to muddle the situation, by asking a third sib to step up. While a student, I took an extra job to be able to send money (gift, not loan) to a sib who needed it for dental work....None of these gifts or loans were more than $1000, though....I expect they'd do the same for me some day if I was in need. All my family is responsible, good with money. If they were seeking loans on Prosper or something, they are just the kind of person you would look for to make a loan to...So of course, I think the advice not to lend money to family is too simplistic for all cases.

[aida2003]

Thank goodness nobody from my family requested a loan "per se". However, before I immigrated to the US, I left $2,500 for my dad for his business. I remember we said it was like borrowing money and he'd pay back + interest when I'm back home.
To make the story short, I didn't go back and his business went down the drain . My mom said "you're in America, you'll have even more". That's just an attitude in East Europe, that dollars grow like bananas on the trees. Plus, I'm a thrifty black sheep in my family (I even think they consider me stingy), so they think I just stick all dollars under the mattress.
Anyway, it was a lesson to me. Later in order not to feel resentment, I said to myself "if was an investment in dad's business" instead. It helped a bit.

However, if I'm ever asked, I'll just assume I'm giving the money, NOT lending. Sure, it would depend how much they're asking for.

[JimInOK]

Is this issue going to ruin an otherwise-strong relationship? Getting your money back is not worth that. Certainly nobody should lend him any more money and he definitely needs some financial counseling! But the relationship is more important than recovering what you've already lent.

I lost a brother just over a month ago to the same cancer that has struck Ted Kennedy and Bobby Murcer. He never borrowed a dime from me, but if he had and this situation would have occurred, I can tell you I wouldn't have wanted $2,000 to come between us.

I'm just saying be careful! Lives can change in a heartbeat and I'd rather live with a $2,000 loss than regret.

[dehoyos4]

The situation has effected me little. I ultimately came to the conclusion that the decisions they make will only effect them. They keep making poor financial decisions and they will eventually suffer because of it. I never lose sleep thinking about how my bills will get paid. However, they are always wondering why the sky is always falling around them (maybe it might be b/c they keep buying a bunch of luxuries they can not afford). They are constantly being bailed out of their financial problems by my mother and father in law. Oh but never again from my family. We love them and care for them but never again will we let them dip in to ER savings. We will only be there for emotional support. It is true that the best things in life our free. We would do them more harm then good lending money ever again. It is kind of like the people that win the lottery and blow the money in no time. I think they need to hit bottom to realize they exhausted all their resources.