Have you made funeral plans?

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Have you made any funeral plans, provisions, or requests for yourself?

I have not done a thing, except talked in very general terms with my husband and son about how I would like my body dispatched. For himself, my husband will only talk about his own desires in joking or nonchalant ways. "I don't care. Just throw me in the river. Do what ever you like. I'll be dead. Suit yourself." This is most unhelpful, especially as I think what I would do to handle (his) funeral matters would be quite different than what his family of birth would hope for. I'd like not to hurt them at a time like that, but I also do not want to be untrue to myself, my values. My husband's input now while he is alive and in sound mind would help. We do not have a faith-based funeral routine to fall back on, either. But, uh, part of his family does, and that is where I could see some of them all the sadder if we do not give him the sort of funeral they would expect. Especially his parents. I sure hope he outlives his parents.

Financially, we have nothing set aside for funerals specifically. It would have to come from savings.

[disneysteve]

Funny you should ask. My mom just asked us the other day about this. My aunt and uncle own two cemetery plots in PA where several of my family members are buried. They, however, moved to Florida years ago and realized they have no reason to be buried in PA as their daughter lives in CT and their son lives in CA. So they just bought plots in Florida. They offered us the PA plots for free. I think we will probably take them up on it.

Personally, I think burials are a huge waste of money, land and resources. Spending thousands of dollars on a fancy box to bury a dead body, then more money on a slab of stone to mark the site is a ridiculous custom IMO, though I realize a great many people feel otherwise, and I respect that.

I've already told DW what website to go to to order my casket. It is a very plain pine box (a traditional Jewish coffin) and runs about $500.

What I'd really like is to be cremated and have my ashes spread in the Seven Seas Lagoon at Disney World but DW says she's not doing that.

[gackle]

Live frugally, die frugally. What can I say? Both my wife and I agree to be cremated. We don't want to hardship the family to pay for some expensive casket that will be put in the ground in a few days to never be seen again. We also don't want to pay for a plot of land to just lay in it either. Like it says in Ecclesiastes, we are made from dust and to dust we shall return.

We have life insurance. I'm pretty sure that covers funerals. What we don't have, and need to do, is have a living will. I don't want to be a vegetable in a hospital for a year either. Now that's not frugal!

[PrincessPerky]

Funerals are for the living..not the dead...though I am a selfish person and will be in death..NO PINK! and the cheapest box you can find for the viewing, rent it cause I want cremated. (and closed casket is fine, cause I don't wear makeup in life, why would I want to look like a plastic painted manikin in death?) - but thats just me.

As to the service, let em have what they want if you don't care. Unless you believe any of the 'stuff' will be good or bad. then it doesn't matter does it?

Living will..working on it
Will period...working on it.
husband burial...working on it (trying to talk him into cremation)

[moneybags]

We do not have a faith-based funeral routine to fall back on, either. But, uh, part of his family does, and that is where I could see some of them all the sadder if we do not give him the sort of funeral they would expect.

We're in the same boat, but DH's parents have both died already. My plans are to do it the way we want, if it hurts peoples feelings, oh well. We handled our wedding the same way. Some people were not pleased that it lacked religion, but we were happy with it. I'm not into being a hypocrite.

[Mamaw]

Remember to donate body parts that others can use, This is the ultimate recycling. Another idea medical schools use to want and I am guess they still do bodies to practice on You can have a memorial service without a body there.

[rob62521]

When my mom died, it was hard to make all the plans and deal with the loss. After her funeral we immediately went out and bought two plots. We hope to get the stone ordered this summer. That way the surviving spouse doesn't have to deal with that. We have had wills, living wills, and poas for some time. I'm not sure about the prepaying of the funerals though. Some folks say it's great and others say it's a rip off. We do have some life insurance that will pay for the funerals so that will be covered, but I agree, they are ripoffs. My mom had some life insurance, but not enough to cover everything. With the cost of funerals going up, that's a problem if you don't have a lot. Both my dh and I have donor cards so hopefully when we go, we can help someone else.

[pearlieq]

What I'd really like is to be cremated and have my ashes spread in the Seven Seas Lagoon at Disney World but DW says she's not doing that.

I agree fully with your assesment of our burial customs--it is such a waste of resources of all kinds. My first choice would be to make an anatomical gift, but if I'm not needed, I plan to have a direct cremation. No viewing, no frills.

The family can have whatever kind of memorial service (preferably simple) they feel they need. Funerals are for the living.

DH already has strict instructions to smuggle me, a bit at time if he must, to Disney World.

I should really write all this down. DH knows what I want, but I should put it on paper, just in case.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

So pearlieq and disneysteve, does it occur to you that if in this short thread we have already identified two people who desire to be sprinkled around Disney World, then there probably are other people already sprinkled around there? Maybe if you trail your fingers into the lagoon thing, you are helping to keep someone's ashes suspended in a swirl. Or maybe when they do that fireworks thing, someone is discreetly setting off their own rockets stuffed with Aunt Tildie's ashes to join the show in the sky and rain down over DW.

[disneysteve]

One thing that I thing gets my mom upset is that my wife and I don't believe in going to visit the gravesites of our deceased relatives. There is just nothing special about that to us. We don't need to visit the cemetary to remember our loved ones or say a prayer or reminisce. So to us it really doesn't matter what happens to us after we die.

DW says she always feels particularly close to her father when we do our annual synagogue retreat in the Poconos. They have an outdoor chapel on the hillside that is just a very spiritual place for her. And I always feel closest to my dad when riding "It's a small world" in Disney World as that was his favorite ride. I'll take a visit to Disney over a trip to the cemetary any day.

[gackle]

That's it. I'm not ever taking my kids to Disney World.

[disneysteve]

does it occur to you that if in this short thread we have already identified two people who desire to be sprinkled around Disney World, then there probably are other people already sprinkled around there?

I would be shocked if I learned there were no ashes sprinkled there. Obviously, you can't do it on an official basis, though I have suggested that they start doing Disney funerals, just like they have Disney weddings. But it is simple enough to rent a boat for half an hour and while out in the lake, sprinkle ashes overboard.

[scfr]

I've completed Jonathan Pond's Letter of Instructions (available for download free at Letter of Instructions - JonathanPond.com) which includes my Funeral Preferences. I did not go in to a lot of detail in my instructions, but did put some general requests down (donate any organs, remains cremated and scattered or buried in a respectful manner, memorial service after disposition, memorial gifts to charity I chose) just to spare my husband (or other family member) the burden of making too many decisions at a difficult time.

Regarding the sprinkling of ashes at Disneyworld, I am sure it goes on often in a very discreet manner, not only there but at other places as well.

I believe you need a special permit to sprinkle ashes at sea, but has anyone else noticed that there is a small deck at the back of the bottom level of some cruise ships that doesn't seem to serve any particular purpose? I suspect the cruise ship people refer to it as the "don't ask, don't tell deck." We sprinkled my grandparent's ashes in to the ocean from one of those decks, as we were nearing the port where they spent there honeymoon.

[pearlieq]

So pearlieq and disneysteve, does it occur to you that if in this short thread we have already identified two people who desire to be sprinkled around Disney World, then there probably are other people already sprinkled around there?

Oh yeah, I'm sure tons of folks have spread ashes there. As long as it's done in a natural setting (a large body of water, wooded area, etc.) It doesn't bother me--dust to dust and all.

Hopefully no one's leaning over the side of their log and sprinkling dear Uncle Elmer in Splash Mountain, but as long as I don't know about it, I'm not going to worry about it.

Though I hope crowds aren't an issue in the afterlife.

[Ima saver]

I don't plan on having a funeral. I have no family, so why bother?