Suze orman's Women & Money Reading Group - Question #1

[scfr]

[The publisher of Suze Orman's new book "Women & Money" was kind enough to post reading group discussion questions on-line. Since so many of us are reading the book right now, I thought it might be interesting if we tried a causual on-line book club. Of course, everyone is welcome to join in, regardless of gender and regardless of whether or not they are reading the book ...]


QUESTION 1: Do you think gender is a factor in financial management? Discuss the role gender has played, if any, in your personal financial history.

[JanH]

I haven't read the book yet, but I got to thinking about this question. In my family, the finances have been handled quite often by the women. I was startled to realize that. My mother has invested better than my father. My sister in law is a whiz with frugal shopping. My mother in law handles all their bills. I pay our bills, while Hubby does the retirement stuff. My daughter in law is the one who keeps things in line in their household. My daughter is learning to take care of her own bills. A couple of our grandmothers handled their own money. I might have to investigate this further......

[Duchesse]

QUESTION 1: Do you think gender is a factor in financial management? Discuss the role gender has played, if any, in your personal financial history.

I think that gender is THE FACTOR in financial management but for the same reason, CONTROL.

I'm no statistician but I feel safe saying that,

Most men who insist on managing the money in the family are very controlling, some to the point of abuse. Their wives are normally passive and usually find themselves on or near a soup line if there is a divorce.

Most women who insist on managing the family finances had a family life like the aforementioned and made up their minds at a very early age not to end up like their mothers. Their husbands are normally secure in their manhood and have no fear that she is going to leave as soon as she gets enough money.

[disneysteve]

Most men who insist on managing the money in the family are very controlling, some to the point of abuse. Their wives are normally passive and usually find themselves on or near a soup line if there is a divorce.

What a terrible generalization!

I manage the finances in our home for two reasons. One, I happen to be very good at it and two, I really enjoy doing it. My wife, who is perfectly capable of managing stuff if she needed to will freely admit that I'm much more knowledgeable in that area. Personal finance just isn't her thing.

Growing up, my father was in charge as well, which made perfect sense as he was an accountant so worked with financial stuff every day.

Neither my mother nor my wife would ever be described as being passive women. A marriage is a joint effort and it makes perfect sense to let each spouse handle the tasks that they are best suited for. In this house, I happen to be the one best suited to manage the finances. If I wasn't, then I'd be perfectly happy to hand that task over to my wife.

It has never been a matter of control. It is simply based on aptitude and interest. I know happily married couples where the wife handles everything. I know happily married couples where the husband handles everything. I know happily married couples that split the financial duties one way or another.

I also know unhappy couples that fit each of those descriptions.

[JoyJoy]

Man or woman; whoever does an effective job at handling the finances should be the person in charge. My husband's job was the controlling factor when we first married as his job placed a lot of demands on his time, otherwise we would have shared the responsibility.

Since hubby retired in 2006, we're both handling the finances by splitting things down the middle. We're indeed happier because we're both contributing and keeping good financial records. I don't feel overwhelmed anymore! He does an excellent job and his checks are already in the mail with his payday being tomorrow!! He keeps our cupboards stocked and even does the washing. There are times when I feel I could hand everything over to him and not feel in any way deprived/abused because I know he will take care of business!!

[PetMom]

I like Suze Orman she is very good to watch and exhorts people
to not be ostriches about their finances and debts and credit
card amount, retirement, etc.

She had an interesting career path that led to her being
where she is today and I am sure she would have a
good answer to this (I have not read the book).

I think when you do put the issue of gender into a topic
you will get some definite replies and in the case of finances
you do have where a woman would have looked to the
example her mom set. My mom had the financial ability
in our family, my dad could not save a dime, but she
certainly could and put her savings to good use.

I think in a marriage the issue of control is not so important
as what is there (amount wise) to control. I cannot really
give the input of modern women being aggressive about
finances because I know of many examples where women
exerted great control over the family finances historically
and were not passive about it.

[lieweheksie]

I think gender does play a role in money management in that in often affects our vision of the future
many girls grow up waiting for their "prince charming"to rescue them- and so they don't get on and look after themselves
also women are encouraged through advertising to spend money on things that don't appreciate in value- clothes, shoes,cosmetics-- and not enough on investments, real estate etc
often women are thought of as the 2nd income in a partnership, changing this thinking- in ourselves as well requires a lot of work and honest discussion about roles and expectations.
Can't wait to get the book- this months treat

[Duchesse]

The key word is INSIST, Steve.

[rduell]

QUESTION 1: Do you think gender is a factor in financial management? Discuss the role gender has played, if any, in your personal financial history.

I don't think that either gender has more of an aptitude to finances. I think it depends on each individual and their own personalities and talents.

I am the one that handles the finances in our household because I am the one that enjoys doing it. DH could do it if he wanted, but doesn't really like to deal with numbers. I, on the other hand, love crunching numbers. That's why I'm working toward a degree in accounting. I would eventually like to do something with personal finance.

My mother was the one that handled the finances in our household when I was younger, so maybe that did have some influence on me.

[tabbycat31]

I'm pretty financially able, so I handle my own finances, however I am not married.

However speaking from life exprerience, I know that my own mother has not been inside a bank since before she was married (she was married in 1971). She dosent even know how to use an ATM. She's written out a few checks, and she uses plastic, however she's never sat down and paid the bills (well from what I know). If something happened to my father tomorrow, she would be completely lost (financially and emotionally).

[baking23]

Both my parents seem to handle paying bills equally, although my dad is a bit absentminded about the checkbook so I can see why mom does more of it.

They've been great about teaching my brother and I about money and letting us handle financial things ourselves. Although I was surprised that my dad kind of steered me away from opening a Roth IRA a few years ago and finally last year I went and did it. His thinking was that I might need the money since I don't have a standard paying job or full-time job yet, I however felt I was years late in starting it. Still living at home helps but I handle my finances entirely by myself, I'm also still single, but I plan on being involved when I get married too.

Generally thought they're pretty active, if a bit conservative, with their money. And we always talked about it in the house, not a taboo subject at all.

[sparkysgirl]

I think that gender is THE FACTOR in financial management but for the same reason, CONTROL.

I'm no statistician but I feel safe saying that,

Most men who insist on managing the money in the family are very controlling, some to the point of abuse. Their wives are normally passive and usually find themselves on or near a soup line if there is a divorce.

Most women who insist on managing the family finances had a family life like the aforementioned and made up their minds at a very early age not to end up like their mothers. Their husbands are normally secure in their manhood and have no fear that she is going to leave as soon as she gets enough money.

My husband has always been good with money , so it only makes sense for him to do the bills. I have my own account that I can do with what I please..
I do the frugal shopping and stay at home with my kids. I have no patience to sit down and mess with bills.
My mom did the bills , and I believe my 5 sisters do the bills in their families.
My dh is the furthest thing from controlling.. I had to laugh at that comment.. I see where your coming from

[Duchesse]

My husband has always been good with money , so it only makes sense for him to do the bills. I have my own account that I can do with what I please..
I do the frugal shopping and stay at home with my kids. I have no patience to sit down and mess with bills.
My mom did the bills , and I believe my 5 sisters do the bills in their families.
My dh is the furthest thing from controlling.. I had to laugh at that comment.. I see where your coming from

Thanks, I'm glad you can see where I'm coming from.

I don't attempt to speak for the world by any means. As I admitted I'm no statistician . INSISTING on all control of the finances is a SIGN OF ABUSE.


The mere mention of your own account that you use at your discretion tells me that your husband does not INSIST on handling all the money. He sounds secure that you are there because you want to be. He's not afraid of your sneaking out in the middle of the night as soon as you can scrape up busfare.

If your husband "insists" because you are financial blizzared. LOL then of course he should protect his future and that of the children.


You and many others who have partners who control the money do so for reasons other than abuse. It's a shared decision arrived at by a mutal understanding of the reasons one person is a better choice over the other.

Again the key word in my statement was INSIST, and I think the factor, gender is for the same reasons of needing control.

[FrugalIII]

I handle the finances in our family (at least the bill paying and investing) because if I didn't we'd be broke in a matter of days. When we got married we had a joint account for bill paying and separate individual accounts for personal use. That worked well until my wife started using the bill paying money for personal use because she'd spent all her money. So, out of necessity, rather than desire for control, I handle the family finances and we each handle our own personal finances. We have no joint credit cards and each save for our own retirement. We use the formula Suze writes in one of her books for family expenses. We take our net income and divide it by our monthly expenses, convert that into a percentage and with that determine how much each of us contributes to the family bill paying. That is fair to each of us and we both have spending money without chancing taking away from the bills. My wife has no interest whatsoever in handling our family finances and no interest in knowing what our expenses are.

[thekid]

What a terrible generalization!

I manage the finances in our home for two reasons. One, I happen to be very good at it and two, I really enjoy doing it. My wife, who is perfectly capable of managing stuff if she needed to will freely admit that I'm much more knowledgeable in that area. Personal finance just isn't her thing.

Growing up, my father was in charge as well, which made perfect sense as he was an accountant so worked with financial stuff every day.

Neither my mother nor my wife would ever be described as being passive women. A marriage is a joint effort and it makes perfect sense to let each spouse handle the tasks that they are best suited for. In this house, I happen to be the one best suited to manage the finances. If I wasn't, then I'd be perfectly happy to hand that task over to my wife.

It has never been a matter of control. It is simply based on aptitude and interest. I know happily married couples where the wife handles everything. I know happily married couples where the husband handles everything. I know happily married couples that split the financial duties one way or another.

I also know unhappy couples that fit each of those descriptions.

Well, I see signs of abuse all over that post! You can't fool us!


I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm sorry. I'll go away now. Sorry.