Cost of relatives visiting for the entire month.

[asmom]

how do you handle relatives visiting????

It's called Days Inn.

I'll drink to that!

I just had two nieces and a nephew visit for 2 weeks. Teen agers. HUNGRY ACTIVE teen agers who ate a lot. But,knowing 3 months in advance that they would be here,I worked a lot of OT and saved like h*ll.
Do you want your relatives to visit? If not,tell them you have other plans this summer.

[nanamom]

i don't know what kind of meals you usually serve them but maybe they will get th ehint if you serve very inexpensive meals, like scrambled eggs for dinner or tuna casserole or even pbj sandwiches and explain the budget is tight.

[PrincessPerky]

How many people are we talking about, Markio? Two? I'm guessing you are talking about retired inlaws if they have a whole month free to be away from their own home. If the situation is a strain on you financially, I think you need to bring it up with them. If they are close enough to share your household that long, surely they are close enough to talk to about contributing financially.

Short of a discussion, maybe you could just casually ask for money (yep, that's what I said) next time you are headed for the grocery store. Maybe something like, "Hey, Grandpa Mike I'm headed out to the grocery to restock the refrigerator. How about a twenty from you to cover the roast and deli meat this week?" Or if the visitors are headed out to do something on their own, you could ask, "Say, on your way back this afternoon, how about picking up a large box of Tide, a loaf of bread, and two six packs of beer? "

You know how some people are uncomfortable talking about money issues? I think this is heightened in a guest-host relationship. It could be that all this time the visitors would like to have contributed, but were uneasy about how to do it without causing embarrassment or insult. Do they do something like give you a cash holday gift, yearly? That might be their way to help make up for their yearly drag on your budget.

On the whole, I think honest, open talk about the matter is best, even if you have to be the one to bring it up. That is, IF the visit is a strain on you financially. If you cannot bring yourself to talk money with them, perhaps you can find a way to ask for the yearly visit to be greatly shortened. Maybe it is easier to just say that it is hard on you to have visitors for that amount of time.

Just enjoy their company. Money is not everything. Sounds like they help out a and that you really don't mind it. And, the time will come when they can no longer visit for whatever reason. Family ties are important.

I just had two nieces and a nephew visit for 2 weeks. Teen agers. HUNGRY ACTIVE teen agers who ate a lot. But,knowing 3 months in advance that they would be here,I worked a lot of OT and saved like h*ll.
Do you want your relatives to visit? If not,tell them you have other plans this summer.

Ditto, especially the comunicate, and the enjoy the family while you can..

but if you do not enjoy the family, then comunicate a need to be absent.

[Fern]

oh my god, i could never do that for a month.

god bless.

but i disagree with some of the others, a month's worth of food and utility usage is a lot and i wouldn't hesitate to suggest they chip in more.

[Ima saver]

Jim, I like your answer and Fern, I agree. I would have to tell them my house is sold and then move away somewhere.<img src="http://smilies.sofrayt.com/fdm/speak-no-evil.gif" width="39" height="29">

[fairy74]

oh my god, i could never do that for a month.

god bless.

but i disagree with some of the others, a month's worth of food and utility usage is a lot and i wouldn't hesitate to suggest they chip in more.

I agree totally, it is quite presumptious to decide you'll vacation at someone's house for a month and then not pay for anything...

[Ima saver]

It is obvious that I have lived almost my entire life with no relatives!!

[markio26]

cost of relatives visiting for the entire month..

i plan ahead for the groceries... in the month of june, the air conditioner will run more, so, that will be a bigger expense on the electric bill... just being together is wonderful... we live on an island, so, when someone pays to cross the lake using the ferry or plane, they seem to think they have spent quite enough money to visit us... my only complaints are i have to give my attention away constantly to them, no break hardly, i don't get any time to read or watch my favorite tv shows, or talk to anyone else in person, or on the phone... other than that all is kewl....they live in nc and yes they are retired.....i am their favorite niece... they have 3 daughters living, and one that died......i was just inquiring on what the other members do with company for a long time... we play card games, go for walks on the beach, picnic, barbeque, etc... we have alot of fun and belly laughs........and they do go along with whatever i have planned and we adjust to their plans as well... thanks for the helpful insightful comments..

[PrincessPerky]

If you find you need a polite way to get time alone, try a bath...no one will fault you for it, and if you plan an 'out of house event' for them at the same time (lessons of some sort, walk on a beach you pack the picnic, point to stores and say good by, whatever) you have a break they have something to do.

If you have any normal obligations that is another way to 'get rid of them' for a short time (like bridge club, or volunteering, or whatever) you can always fluff up the time needed to be away .

If you have any thing you think they might like that involves a larger group, like games, or book club, that is another way to involve them without you being umm nursemaid so they have fun, you have something to talk about later over dinner, and you don't have to be at their elbow.

[Aleta]

You haven't mentioned who it is. But it seems like that they're probably very nice people trying to help out, but for 1 month, that's alot. How long have they been doing this?

My next question for you is when do you take your vacation? Have you thought about taking some of it in June and thereby letting the visitors know that you're also going on vacation. But knowing them, they might choose another month. But, you have to start somewhere. I've never heard of anyone staying that long unless they were traveling from another country and then they usually want to do their own stuff. You're just going to have to find a gracious way of doing this that you can live with.

For those of you that don't have family, you can't understand what its like when you have people just coming at you at all times not giving you any privacy. This happens alot to people who live in tourist areas. My son lives in an area like that and I don't go to his house to see the parks. People are just too cheap and frankly fresh. Some don't realize how many people have the same idea.

[markio26]

relatives.

i thought i mentioned they are my auntie and unkie... i am their favorite niece... they had not seen me since i was a lil girl, until 8 years ago, when they starting the yearly june visit... my unkie is my deceased mom's brother.. my dad is deceased also... anyway, my unkie was a lifer in the air force and recently retired for the second time, once as military and second as civilian... so, i did not get to see them for about 43 yrs. as they lived in new mexico, nebraska, and many foreign bases... thanks for the comments... they really have told my friends when they visited last yr, that my spouse and me are the only family members they can talk to and they really love to visit us... we vacation from nov. 17th to mar.24th, at our other home and in nc, too... spouse works 8 months of the year at the location of our home on the island...hth.

[Homebody]

gosh that is really wonderful. They must really enjoy their time with you. Did you mention how many years this has been going on because if it has only been a couple of years, maybe you can start acting more like they live there as far as watching what you want on TV, do you have a TV in your bedroom? Just say I'm going to watch Lost tonight. You are welcome to watch.. you can tell TV is important to me!

The money thing.... mmmm that is hard. He obviously must have a fairly good pension, retiring with two pensions. I am really not sure how to handle that.

Good luck and enjoy your visit.

[markio26]

well, i only have a few aunties and unkies left living... and 4 first cousins with fatal cancers pending... so, my family is indeed shrinking.....thanks for the replies.. appreciate it..

[Aleta]

I'm sorry to hear of your cousins conditions. It's easy to understand why you're sensitive to your relatives and their visits.

Family is very important and with that said; it seems that by your post that you're having a somewhat difficult time with it. You mention that you pay for everything. While we love our relatives, most of us wish that they would be sensitive to the monetary issues and expenses of others that they are visiting. I think that you have been very generous so far, but I still think that you may have to change your plans in June for a couple of times so that they might start questioning why you are doing that. You might also say that you are also expecting another person to come the same month and maybe you could actually have another visitor come in at that time. The thing is that people become familiar ( dirivitive of family) and you want to take it easy about how you handle it and yet it is your life along with your spouses life. You didn't mention how your spouse feels about it. They could be a big issue as well.