How many friends do you have?

[starving_student]

How often do you go out to socialize? Do you wish you had more or less of a social life social life?

[Ima saver]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I would like to have more of a social life. I could party every night! I only have one or two close friends, but they don't live in the same town.

[disneysteve]

Re: How many friends do you have?

Our socializing is almost exclusively from our participation at our synagogue. We have many friends there. Every once in a while we will get together with a couple on our own, but probably only 2-3 times/year.

Between work, school, scouts and synagogue, there is very little time for socializing. I expect that once our daughter is off on her own, my wife and I will do more socializing. But since she's only 11, we've got quite a few years to wait for that.

[BCHGRL]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I wish I could meet more people my own age. Not that I mind people of all ages, it is just that most of my coworkers are my parents age or older and the only sociable neighbors are much older too. We've been to plenty neighborhood parties where we're the only ones under the age of 50.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I only admit this because of the anonymity of the internet, but ,sadly, I think I cannot say I have any friends, at least not what I consider real friends. I've slowly gotten myself to a point where what I have is four people I have frequent contact with and I know all about their lives down to some of the most intimate details, yet they know not so much about me. These four people all really need emotional and social support and two need financial help. One may need it soon. I give and give and give to these people, being a light heart in their heavy lives, trying to encourage them and give them advice when they ask Two of them ask for advice a lot.

I try to let my people know that I really care about them even though they are all in such hard situations where it could seem like nobody cares. Two will probably never pull through to stable lives; one might get there financially but maybe not emotionally; the fourth will probably get there in both ways eventually--there is light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe not for another two years and she has already been struggling for six.

But my people do not have it in them to be very mutual for various reasons. Oh, they all try, but they do not have the resources--mental, time, money, emotional, etc. I am there for them as much as possible, but I do not share with them too much of my own puny troubles, because they just cannot deal with much more. They are all very kind hearted and would respond to me with kindness and support, but many things I'd share with a real friend, it feels inappropriate to share with these folks at this point in their lives.

I am more introverted and even when I spend time with any of them just for fun, it really takes my energy. I can enjoy the moment, but when they are then gone and I'm home, I am exhausted. I feel like I have to unplug the phone and be unavailablle at the door for a while afterward. In the last year, since I have not been working for $, I have this wide-open schedule. What the heck, I have no schedule. Instead, I seem to be on call all the time for these four folks.

I've been thinking about this situation a lot lately. Anyone observing from outside would certainly say that I need to get out there and make some real friends, the kind of people who have the kind of non-needy vivacity that would charge me up rather than drain me.

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I have one or two good friends I think. Friends who would go to bat for me when and if the chips were down. I daresay most people I know are casual friends or acquaintances.

I don't socialize much with people outside my family. I rarely if ever see people I knew before I got married. Life changes and your interests change. People move away or don't stay in touch. Such is the way of the world.

Maybe it is that way for everybody! I don't know~

[tinapbeana]

Re: How many friends do you have?

i'm with joan and bchgrl on this one: i count myself lacking in 'real-life' friends. when i abruptly moved back to SC in 2001 i lost contact with all my friends from atlanta and really only knew family here. now i am sociable with a lot of people (co-workers, cigar customers, and DH's friends), but i honestly can say i don't have any friends that are just my own. it's something i've thought about before, and it is mildly depressing! having a hard time thinking of how to meet folks without it coming across as creepy or swingy. DH and i are considering joining the local kick-ball league in the spring (seriously, kickball with uniforms and everything!), so maybe that would help...

[Snoopy2645]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I have one best friend & one friend that I probably try to help more than she does me our kids are the same age & get along great we have slowly became friends because our lives keep crossing paths that went on for years & now we are pretty close she is alot younger than me & she is single so our lives differ but we get along well & the best part is the kids do too!!!

And I have 1 friend from school I speak to but she lives in FL I live in IA & I have one other close friend but she also lives out of town. SO I would say I have 4 close friends. And my coworkers they have became my friends to an extent its nice to take breaks with them & get adult socialization without the kids sometimes.

SO I would ya defiently would say I have 1 close friend who would be thier in a heartbeat if I needed her the only bad part is our kids cross she has boys & I have girls & hers are different ages than mine her youngest though & my middle dd get along good though. But I wish they got along better but I know the age & sexes differ too much so it may not be possible.

[tgavin71]

Re: How many friends do you have?

Ive got quite a lot of friends. I go out for lunch with friends I met at playgroup when our boys were little. We have been meeting for lunch once a month for almost 5 years now. I have school and uni friends that I still keep in contact with. I left school in 1988 and uni in 1991.
I have friends that I have met at my children's school. We got out for morning tea each fortnight. And we chat each afternoon.
What I lack are friends to go out with at night. I get quite jealous when my hubby goes out drinking at night because I have no one to do this with. My school and uni friends live to far away and my other friends either have trouble getting babysitters or just couldn't be bothered.

[kealina]

Re: How many friends do you have?

i've had really great friends but life happens and we've drifted apart...people get married and move away and i got married and stayed here =)...
since we don't socialize much, except for with family, i haven't met many new people... so no, right now i don't have any real friends... i'm hopeful though as i'm sure there are people out there who i could be friends with... in fact i met a new person tonight who was very nice and i will see her again next month...

[shengmei]

Re: How many friends do you have?

What is the definition of "friend"? I get plenty aggrevated when people join those cliques online just so they can gang up on lonesome individuals. It bugs me that someone I know claims to make a new friend online everyday. It bugged me again when she thought I was flirting with her husband, whom I did not even know was male, and made it her mission to group with as many people as she possibly could to make me miserable.

I don't know.....perhaps I am old fashioned, but everytime someone tells me that he/she has more than five close friends, I think they are bluffing. I think people who manifest an outwardly suave and debonair appearance are using the appearance to undermine their pathetic attempts at achieving normalcy.

Disclaimer: I am never aggrevated by anyone on this forum. You people are the nicest bunch of people I have ever known. You guys are awesome.

Myself personally has a very poor social life, but then I am a grad student. It is to be expected. Some people even wear it as a badge of honor.

As far as acquanitances, I have dozens that I am regularly friendly with. However, when it comes to life and death situations, I can only count on five individuals, all of them being family.

[rduell]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I have 2 good friends that I feel I could go to with a problem and they would listen and really care. One other friendship is just starting up and I think we'll be there soon.

As far as going out socially, we don't do that a whole lot, but that's been because of having kids at home. As the kids get older and we're alone again I see us doing that more often. We have several other couples that we socialize with, mostly at church.

[JoyJoy]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I have three friends. I had a very very special friend for over 30 years but she passed away from cancer in 2003. She was the friend who Proverbs 17:17 speaks of....."A friend loveth at all times.". All three of my friends live in Michigan and we talk over the phone atleast once or twice a month and we visit when possible. One of my friends is my ex-sister-in-law

[lrjohnson]

Re: How many friends do you have?

Not enough. Something I'm working on.

[tgavin71]

Re: How many friends do you have?

I don't know.....perhaps I am old fashioned, but everytime someone tells me that he/she has more than five close friends, I think they are bluffing. I think people who manifest an outwardly suave and debonair appearance are using the appearance to undermine their pathetic attempts at achieving normalcy.

.

I have more than five close friends. There. Could you tell I was bluffing. I think the reason that I do have so many close friends is because I treat all my friends with respect and kindness and am geniunely interested in what they have to say.
As a child I was extremely shy. Didn't say a word to anyone at school until year 2. If took a lot of guts and practise to over come my shyness but now I am the person who makes the effort to make new people feel comfortable.
I don't manifst an outwarldy suave and debonair appearance. I am very normal.
ON Saturday at our school fete I let a friend have a table cloth for free because it was stained. She nearly burst into tears with gratitude. She told me that I was one of the nicest people she had met and that I was so normal.