People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

[shengmei]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

I get really mad when people make fun of how small my wedding was, saying that it was not a "real wedding"

Well, they are the ones getting divorced. Go figure.

[kealina]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

A family gather is bothg love AND war!

though honestly I am the one guilty...I see a situation, I figure out what I would do, then I tell DH later, no need to tell the owner..less I forget they are there and think out loud..that is generally bad...

lol... i do that but mostly in situations where the fallout of their mistakes might land on me... otherwise i just shrug and let it go... if i didn't have to worry that they would run out of money and then need our help i wouldn't obsess nearly as much...

[Ima saver]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

Nobody gives me advice! None of my friends can handle money.

[kealina]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

I get really mad when people make fun of how small my wedding was, saying that it was not a "real wedding"

Well, they are the ones getting divorced. Go figure.

i wouldn't listen to them. i remember when you posted your pictures and i thought it was great. All weddings are valid no matter how lavish or simple and it is truly the marriage that counts.

our wedding didn't cost as much as most in our state and i'm sure some of them looked down on it but we were happy. we planned, executed, and paid for our own wedding... not everybody can claim that.

[MonkeyMama]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

they won't let it go. My husband says to tell everyone that we can't have kids and then they will feel bad for asking. He has even created a great story line for how he got "injured" in a fire.

Good idea - seriously. Maybe then people will get the point it is none of their beeswax.

[MonkeyMama]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

i wouldn't listen to them. i remember when you posted your pictures and i thought it was great. All weddings are valid no matter how lavish or simple and it is truly the marriage that counts.

our wedding didn't cost as much as most in our state and i'm sure some of them looked down on it but we were happy. we planned, executed, and paid for our own wedding... not everybody can claim that.

Exactly. My mom and I have noticed an inverse relationship between how long the marriage lasts and how expensive the wedding was. Not always true, but it is amazing how short some of the marriages lasted with some of our friends who had the most extravagant weddings. You figure what a waste at the time, and then when the marriage lasts less than a year it just seems that much more of a waste!!

[JoyJoy]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

No one tells us what we should do as we don't tell them what we are doing! They see the results AFTER we have gone ahead and done it.

Two of our three sons wouldn't dare give us advice as to what we should be doing with our $ as these two run into roadblocks every other month or so (LOL) and kinda suggest that they are in a pinch. Our third son manages to keep $25K in his checking account and no telling what is in his savings. He doesn't offer advice unless one asks for it and we wait to hear what he has to say like E F Hutton....when this son talks, "shhhhh...we listen!"

As far as other family members, they gave up on us when had our house built. Seems moving to surburbia wasn't in their plans!

We try to do as 1Thess4:11 advises...."Aim to live a quiet life, minding your own business and doing your own thing, then you won't be dependent on others to help you pay your bills"!

[zakity]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

I am always giving out advice. I am one of "those" people. I will tell you what I think you should do, but really I don't care if you do what I suggested or not. It was just a suggestion.

[tgavin71]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

OMG. My sister is the queen of "you shoulda". My DS1 lives 2000km is pregnant with her first child yet every time she calls she tell me how to raise my kids and what I should do. You shouldn't let your son talk like that. You should make your kids go to bed, or school or whatever it is. Raising kids is easy she tells me. Doesn't believe me when I tell her it is totally different to baby sitting for a few hours! DH and I can't wait till she has the bub. We are hoping that her child is a little terror. Then we can sit back and gloat.

She also searches on job sites for jobs for me because I shouldn't be letting the financial burden fall on my husband. I should be working not "bumming around all day at home".

I cringe everytime I hear her voice on the phone. The other day I was mentioning that our eldest who is 10 might be catching the bus home from his new school next year. "Ooh no I don't think that is a good idea". It is none of her business. And get this she said she'd ring around some after school care places for me!! Told her not to bother. Heaps of kids catch buses to and from school.

She even tells our mother what she should do. Work wise and marriage wise. Told her what car to buy.

She even tried to tell another sister's boyfriend that it was stupid for him to take a year off uni to join the army full time. As if it has anything to do with her.

She just makes me so mad. I am always fuming when I get off the phone. What makes it worse is that if you don't call every couple of weeks or so she rings and blasts you for not calling because you should have. AAaRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG.

[cschin4]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

Looks like my mom is going to tell me how I should cook Thanksgiving Dinner. I am 40+, I think I can handle it by now. But, I guess I will just let her have her way. She is 76 so God bless her.

[MonkeyMama]

Re: People Who Tell You What You "Should" Do

I was just thinking today that historically whenever I mentioned dh did not work EVERYONE always seems to be looking for a job for him. When we had a small baby at home and were soon thereafter expecting another, him working was the farthest thing from our mind. But apparently on the forefront of the minds of everyone and their brother. ???

No one's mentioned it lately now that he is considering getting a job - ironic enough. I just found it annoying why everyone assumed a spouse is not working that it must not be by choice. Family is the worst though - that is another one - dh "should" be working. I know SAHMs get that too, but it is so much worse when it is a SAHD.