Share a place with relatives?

[titi]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

Um, sounds like both you and your mother have some issues to work out, titi.

The issues have more or less been resolved when I moved out. A kind of conflict avoidance. Many of my friends, who had always had problems with their parents, were really shocked to hear that I also had problems at home. But since I have seen quite a lot of cases when separation is the cure, it was not very difficult to find the solution before things went too far.

[tinapbeana]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

Haha, I've seen abandoned crack houses that look better than Tina's garden shack.

now we all know why a friend nick-named it the "Crack Shack"! seriously, it got the moniker the week we bought the place....

[ren]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

You know, I feel like I should contribute something meaningful to this thread, because I was a boomerang kid for a couple years, but all I can really come up with is, "It worked pretty well for Dad and me!"

[Thrifty Ray]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

We have two acres and my parents are living in a small, park-model RV on our land. They are here for 2 reasons- 1. so I can help them when needed and 2. they couldnt afford to live anywhere else. They are piped into my satellite TV and electricity--which very willingly I pay for.

So, I guess my situation is reverse of the question. My parents live with us to save money. And I wouldnt have it any other way!

[LuckyRobin]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

I would share a place with relatives, easily. I lived with my folks until I got married (right after I turned 25). DH and I lived on our own for a year and a half, then we moved back in with my parents. He had started the job up in Alaska so was gone for weeks at a time and I was having a hugely complicated pregnancy, that involved a lot of bedrest. My parents live two blocks from the hospital so it was a good place to be. We ended up living there for 2 years, paying off all our college debt (mostly financed on credit cards), and saving up to buy our house. There were a few problems, but mostly everything was fine. We paid $100 a month, which covered our share of heat and light. We paid for our own food and kept it in our fridge.

I'd move back in with my parents if they needed us, too, or be happy to have my mother come live with us. Dad's mental state is too far gone for me to be able to have him move in, though unless Mom came, too. He'd be too confused with where he was and would probably wander off.

I'd also live with one of my sisters but not the other one. Personality issues. I'd also live with several cousins.

[markio26]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

no way!! not with my relatives.. they are all messed up a lil bit more than i am... hahaha!!!!

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

I guess it all depends on financial necessities and personal preferences!

[cptacek]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

Perhaps for a few months I would live with a married relative...sister, parents, etc. For longer than that, I would feel I am intruding on their family time.

I currently live with a cousin, (I guess she lives with me) and haven't had any trouble so far. knock-knock It is great to come home to somebody, to share dinner with, and watch TV with. And sharing the bills is great too.

My uncle lives with my parents. I don't begrudge him that, because he is mentally handicapped and was not taught to take care of himself. I do, however, begrudge my grandma, who is cashing his SS checks and paying my parents about 1/3 of it every other month, and the rest of my aunts and uncles, who completely forget about him because my parents do such a good job taking care of him. I guess that is why I said above I was worried about the impact I would have on the family time, because I see what stress it puts on a marriage to have someone living with you.

[MairGrif]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

Share living space with relatives? We (fiance and I) anticipate having to do so in the future. Both his parents have major health problems, so if something happened to a stepparent, the parent in question would probably have to come live with either us or his sister and her DH. Both parents have their quirks, but neither are deliberately difficult, so while it'd be stressful, I'd grin and bear it and be happy we could help. When fiance was dealing with a potential job loss, both parents gladly offered residential assitance as they both live near companies in his field. How could we not return the favor?

As per my family, my aunt moved in with my grandparents when she left a bad marriage. She later moved out, then purchased their house (with them in it). The rest of the family said, good for her, I couldn't live with them. It's a blessing in so many ways - she got a good price on the house, they know it will stay in the family. Her son gets to grow up w/ his grandparents, and there is someone the help them as they are getting older, and to watch my cousin when needed. If needed, I'd gladly take in my grandmother. It would be difficult, but I would value the time with her. Grandpa, that'd be harder but I'd also do it in a heartbeat. Different family members would be varying degrees of difficulty, but I'd probably do it for anyone, unless there was a safety issue (active alcohol or drug abuse for instance). I grew up spending several nights a week at my grandparents house, and feel for all the difficulties, multigenerational homes are a good thing.

Marianne

[baking23]

Re: Share a place with relatives?

I still live at home wiht parents for a few reasons.

1. I've never found a "real" full-time job using either degree, so far, so didn't see it as smart money-wise to move out.

2. Was in college until a few years ago so was always working or in school and didn't have time to move out.

Plus my family's pretty close and my little brother just moved out when he got married.