Frugality is a tough sell

[disneysteve]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

We each earn a six figure salary, and we just don't know many people in our income bracket who live like we do.

I know for a fact that most of our friends and my co-workers aren't saving nearly as much as they should towards retirement. So, this isn't just a problem for folks making the median income. In fact, I think that people in the higher brackets will be far more disappointed in their "golden years" because they'll suffer a much greater decline in lifestyle than those who earn less.

I'm right there with you. In fact, my family and I were featured in an article in a national magazine a few years ago due to our frugal habits and living below our means, because it is so rare among physicians.

Lots of people think all their financial problems would go away if only they earned more. The reality, however, is as income rises, they just increase their spending to match so they are no better off. The secret for most isn't to earn more but to spend less.

[tinapbeana]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

it's very simply the difference between working to "make a living" and working to "maintain a lifestyle".

i work to make a living: covering my necessities now and in the future. so many others work to maintain a lifestyle, and a lifestyle is always 'here and now'. i don't see why you would want to sacrifice your ability to make a living later in order to fund a lifestyle now.

[Ima saver]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

Steve, how exciting!! Can I ask what magazine??

[disneysteve]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

Steve, how exciting!! Can I ask what magazine??

Medical Economics

[Ima saver]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

That is great! One of my husband's homes was featured in a magazine and I was so proud. I know you must be too!
Sorry, didn't mean to change the topic. It is very hard to convince people that you can be frugal but still lead a happy exciting life!

[ren]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

Oh, I have a feeling this thread is going to be very theraputic for me.

One of my roommates... I cannot discuss money with her. She makes absolutely hideous financial decisions that are hurting her chances to live the life she wants long term (home ownership, retirement, etc.) so she can have what she wants now.

• She has a car loan and a motorcycle loan (car is an SUV bought used, bike was bought new).
• The SUV's radiator needs replacing, so instead of shelling out the $600 or so it would cost to replace it, she's decided she's going to get another car, despite the fact that she owes about $2000 more than the SUV is worth.
• She ran her credit cards up over a couple years to the tune of about $4500 and did a consolidation loan last spring.
• She has since run up another $4500 on her cards.
• She has 0% financing on her mattress that she's not going to have paid off by the end of the 0% period.
• She regularly pays $250+ a month for her cell phone, but won't switch to a plan with more minutes because 'those cost too much'.
• She's going on a week long cruise with a friend to the Bahamas next spring, also financed.
• And her latest brilliant plan is that she's taken out another $5000 loan so she can get a breast enlargement.

Yes, she's financing a boob job. This last loan will put her in debt roughly equal to her annual gross income; she'll probably exceed it if she does end up getting a new car. This is before she starts planning her dream wedding scheduled for spring 2008. Her fiance is just as bad as she is. I really hope they see the light at some point, but I've tried talking to her (well, I tried pointing out that now might not be the time for the boob job, but she 'needs' her new boobs for the cruise) and she doesn't want to hear about it.

In fact, a couple months ago I was saying how buying a new computer was really hurting me (the old one was out of warranty and the fan was going) and she said, "Yeah, but you can't complain, because your car is paid off and you don't have any real expenses like I do." I had to bite my tongue so hard not to say that I made a decision to live within my means instead of living in debt, because I couldn't live the way she does. I may be a 'judgemental b****', but at least I can sleep at night.

So I don't talk about money with her. She doesn't want to hear it, I get frustrated, it's not worth it. I just make sure to cash her check for rent the day I get it, because even she admits that any money in her checking account will be spent.

I feel bad for ranting, but watching an otherwise intelligent, disciplined person (she used to be a Marine and she's fabulously good at her job now) dig a hole like this and then tell herself that this is something that happened to her, not something she did to herself, is so very frustrating. I'd get her a Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman book for Christmas, but she'd probably beat the crap out of me.

[tinapbeana]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

well, ren, i think in a lot of ways debt is like alcoholism: folks don't acknowledge what's going on or see the need for help until they've hit rock bottom.

being able to see one's situation clearly without having to hit rock bottom is a definite blessing.

[Ima saver]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

I think you should get her Dave's book anyway! Maybe she will read it.

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

Tinapbeana, you are absolutely correct!

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

Lots of people think all their financial problems would go away if only they earned more. The reality, however, is as income rises, they just increase their spending to match so they are no better off. The secret for most isn't to earn more but to spend less.

i think in a lot of ways debt is like alcoholism: folks don't acknowledge what's going on or see the need for help until they've hit rock bottom.

Ah, refreshing truth!

[Hot dog]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

I have experienced some of the same everyone in my family knows me as being frugal It is a running joke Anyway I experience a lot of jealousy when building my dream house last year from my family. can you imagine your brother or sister building their dream house and telling them no I don't want to go see it and then finally going and not having anything nice to say except it is so big what will you do with all this space My brother in law builds houses and wouldn't once come to see if it was being done right We have since asked if he would put a door knob on for us (we need a drill to go through the metal door ) and his answer is I will only do it when you get a computer for your kids They need one You have a big house and don't even have a computer for your kids I didn't say anything about him buying a boat motorcycle or a motorcycle for his two year old Meanwhile complaining about all the debt they have Anyway he hasn't done it and he is family I will just pay someone I mean it is pretty simple He acts like he is joking but I don't like to ask more than once I am one to always do for myself. Ima i wanna know what you got first place for?

[miclason]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

...consider this jingle from a local CC company (loosely translated)

...use me, I want you to use me, take me with you wherever you go, abuse me, I'll pay for you and make you happy, I'm your Evil card....

[tinapbeana]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

my credit union let's you 'name' your accounts with them, for your online interface. for instance, one of my checking accounts is 'named' dreamland *grin*, and my account list online shows "Savings", "Checking", and "Dreamland"

well, my sister has a credit card with them, and has named that account "DevilCard"! even better: she works for the credit union!

[miclason]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

LOL!...it's supposed to be Aval Card, but Evil Card seems more fitting! :P

[PauletteGoddard]

Re: Frugality is a tough sell

Oh, and while I am rambling, I can not begin to tell you how anxiety-provoking it is to see grown men throw their credit cards around, buying whatever that comes to mind. On top of that, they did not keep any receipts or use any means to keep track of it. I had to bite my tongue repeatedly over that one.

Alex Steffen said in a presentation I attended on Saturday night that change can only come when one is offered a better system. My frugality is really more interest in energy conservation and independence (to preserve the "non-negotiable way of life"), health care costs elimination through proper diet and exercise (because I am too stupid/lazy to get my salary to rise beyond the costs of health care), and having dollars to further design my lifestyle to one super and sustainable.

Maybe the grown men throw their credit cards around, buying whatever that comes to mind because they don't have the same need I do for a super, sustainable lifestyle -- I have a kid to look after and to mentor. Maybe they already have a super sustainable lifestyle, or maybe they are dinosaurs on the verge of extinction.