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Here's the quandary: My brother and SIL live next door. They have a 4 year old daughter. My mother has committed to watch her every Tuesday and Thursday. Since DH started student teaching, she also volunteered to watch our two boys, but only if it was the same days. So I switched my schedule at work so that she watches all three kids on T and Th.
My SIL started a new job that requires mornings and evenings. Her daughter will often be dropped off here during these times (my brother is a farmer and works very long hours - at times he will take her to the barn, but more often than not - especially with the colder weather - they bring her here). A lot of times they won't even ask until they bring her because they know we won't say no. We enjoy having her here, and she also keeps my boys busy. On Tues and Thurs she is here from 10am until 7pm (I only work until 1 pm, so I watch her most of that day). She usually is here 2-3 nights per week for dinner. We also watch her several other times during the week so my SIL can run errands.
Here's the problem - it seems that every time I want them to watch my boys, there is a reason why they cannot. A few months ago, I asked them to help out when DH went back to school - no response. Then I asked if they could watch the boys on Sunday nights while DH and I bowl. That lasted for 2 weeks, then my brother told me that Sundays were their family time and they didn't want to do it every week. I arranged for a sitter every other week. Last week, they were supposed to come back from a calling hours to relieve DH, who was watching our boys and their daughter, so that DH could come bowling. Instead, they stayed for an hour past the end of calling hours, then stopped to get dinner before coming home (well over an hour late, so DH missed bowling, which we have to pay for whether we go or not).
This week my SIL agreed to watch the boys during bowling, then called back to say that her daughter was going to a birthday party, so could I get the sitter? Nevermind that SHE was not going to the party and would still be home. There is always a reason.
So...I can keep on pretending like there is nothing wrong. This was the stance my mom wanted me to take for "family peace", but even she is getting pretty upset now. I can say something, not knowing how it will be taken. Or I can just refuse to watch their daughter any more, or at least cut back.
Should I keep quiet? Or speak up? I am currently spending about $200 on child care monthly while she spends $0. Doesn't seem fair.
My SIL started a new job that requires mornings and evenings. Her daughter will often be dropped off here during these times (my brother is a farmer and works very long hours - at times he will take her to the barn, but more often than not - especially with the colder weather - they bring her here). A lot of times they won't even ask until they bring her because they know we won't say no. We enjoy having her here, and she also keeps my boys busy. On Tues and Thurs she is here from 10am until 7pm (I only work until 1 pm, so I watch her most of that day). She usually is here 2-3 nights per week for dinner. We also watch her several other times during the week so my SIL can run errands.
Here's the problem - it seems that every time I want them to watch my boys, there is a reason why they cannot. A few months ago, I asked them to help out when DH went back to school - no response. Then I asked if they could watch the boys on Sunday nights while DH and I bowl. That lasted for 2 weeks, then my brother told me that Sundays were their family time and they didn't want to do it every week. I arranged for a sitter every other week. Last week, they were supposed to come back from a calling hours to relieve DH, who was watching our boys and their daughter, so that DH could come bowling. Instead, they stayed for an hour past the end of calling hours, then stopped to get dinner before coming home (well over an hour late, so DH missed bowling, which we have to pay for whether we go or not).
This week my SIL agreed to watch the boys during bowling, then called back to say that her daughter was going to a birthday party, so could I get the sitter? Nevermind that SHE was not going to the party and would still be home. There is always a reason.
So...I can keep on pretending like there is nothing wrong. This was the stance my mom wanted me to take for "family peace", but even she is getting pretty upset now. I can say something, not knowing how it will be taken. Or I can just refuse to watch their daughter any more, or at least cut back.
Should I keep quiet? Or speak up? I am currently spending about $200 on child care monthly while she spends $0. Doesn't seem fair.
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