Engagement Rings

[kealina]

Re: Engagement Rings

speaking as somebody who got married earlier this year... it all depends on the girl...
for me, i much preferred not to be surprised with a ring i may not like...
if you asked my mom you would end up with a ring i wouldn't like because she loves gaudy stuff and doesn't pick up on what i like very well because she's rather oblivious... i was glad to look at rings and pick a simple style i liked, keeping in mind budget and lifestyle... my major requirements were that it be small and simple and i wanted quality over quantity/size... over the exact style/size, i wasn't too picky as long as it was basically what i wanted but not all girls are like that...all that said, you're the one that knows your girlfriend... you have to do what suits you...

also, i second what BA said about wholesale comfort bands... at least think about it for yourself and your wedding band... we went thru a friend of my mom (my mom sells wholesale locally, unfortunately not wedding stuff) and got DH's comfort band for just over $100 when i'm sure it sells for quite it bit more...as for my rings, luckily i have an aunt who is a well-off jeweler and she gifted us with my rings as a wedding present, for which i am grateful... however, if we hadn't had any help we would most likely have gotten a set of matching wholesale comfort bands and thought about upgrading someday if we really wanted to...
here is a picture of our rings...

[Ima saver]

Re: Engagement Rings

I picked out my own ring my first marriage, helped pay for it too. It cost $200 back then. When my second husband proposed to me, I told him not to waste his money on a diamond ring, I liked the one I had and I had paid for it.
He got me a diamond watch instead. I have my mother's diamonds too, plus a diamond ring that I won in a drawing.
I hardly ever wear any of them. I prefer other rings.

[Gruntina]

Re: Engagement Rings

My ex never gave me a ring!!!! I was naive at that time and did not catch all the red flags with him and sure I was disappointed as I would have been happy with a fake 25 cent plastic ring.

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Engagement Rings

In all seriousness, and if I had to charge into something like this... blind... I would highly recommend just getting a comfort band. This is, after all, an engagement ring, and so long as you get her finger size correct, you really can't go wrong. Plus, you can rest easy knowing that it will be a complete surprise. Doing it this way will also save you more money for other, perhaps more important things like... the wedding, reception, the honeymoon, and even getting a place for the two of you?

After the engagement, she'll turn into Bridezilla anyways, and insist on micro-managing everything, including the wedding ring. That's when you can pour your money into her wedding ring as she drags er takes you to her favorite jewelry stores to go shopping.

But that's "guy logic" for ya, so please take it with a grain of salt.

[Ima saver]

Re: Engagement Rings

I was engaged once before I married. The guy picked out the ring and i did not like it at all. I gave it back!

[pearlieq]

Re: Engagement Rings

After the engagement, she'll turn into Bridezilla anyways, and insist on micro-managing everything, including the wedding ring.

Yikes!

We're not all like that. I promise you, there actually are sane, sensible, considerate women in the world!

[lrjohnson]

Re: Engagement Rings

After the engagement, she'll turn into Bridezilla anyways, and insist on micro-managing everything, including the wedding ring. That's when you can pour your money into her wedding ring as she drags er takes you to her favorite jewelry stores to go shopping.

I tell ya, when it comes to women and jewelry, you just can't win. Might as well wrap up your credit card in a ribbon and just give her that instead.

Can you calm it down on the generalities?

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Engagement Rings

Oops. Guess I got carried away.

No, I don't think women are all like that. It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

[lrjohnson]

Re: Engagement Rings

Oops. Guess I got carried away.

The first crack was a freebie.

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Engagement Rings

I apologize if I have offended anyone.

[Jacklad]

Re: Engagement Rings

Another thing to consider is whether she wants a diamond at all. I've always found diamonds to be no big deal, and not particularly attractive. When hubby and I got engaged, he gave me his signet ring to wear until we could choose the real thing - and I chose a sapphire (well, it is flanked by two diamonds, but it's not a plain diamond ring). Worked for me - it's my birthstone, it's my favourite colour, and the setting was both plain enough and big enough to work with my large hands (a tiny solitaire would have looked silly).

Jackie

[budgetmom]

Re: Engagement Rings

DH sent his mother asking me questions about her ring. Pumping me for info on what to get me. We were shopping for a new outfit for a fancy Valentine's dinner and she said that she was having some problems with the stones on hers. She also said that when they got married that they got what they could afford at the time, figuring they could upgrade in the future to something that she really wanted. She said that she was able to afford to get one now and asked me what I thought about I would want in a ring to give her some ideas. I am not a flashy person, so I said if it was me I would pick something small and that I would want a round cut so as not to end up scratching the babies with it orfaving it catch on everything. Some people have had good luck with other cuts not catching on things, but I used to have a marquee cut birth stone ring and I ruined more sweaters on it than I care to admit! DH proposed to me on Valentine's Day ( I was truely suprized, given all his previous commitment issues) with a simple round cut 1/4 c. dimond solitare with a white gold band. Perfect for me! When it came time to get the wedding rings we couldn't afford to get them because we were paying to put all the deposits and things down to live in a place together after our wedding. Sounds cheesy, but we went to WalMart and got the least expensive silver bands we could find. It matches my engagement ring well enough until we can afford to upgrade, maybe for anniversary gifts...

I'm glad that you have found the one for you, congrats! On a side note, though, I urge you to get premarital counceling even if your state doesn't require you to. It will help you both in understanding each others views regarding money, children, ect., all the little things often overlooked.

[kealina]

Re: Engagement Rings

BA,
eh.... i'm not easily upset or offended so i didn't mind, but i do think pearlieq and irjohnson are right... there are lots of girls out there (especially on this site) who are nothing like that...

jacklad, i know what you mean... i like diamonds but sometimes i think people take it all a little too seriously... if i hadn't had connections (my aunt) that made it easier to get diamonds and if they weren't my birthstone i probably would have gone with an emerald or a sapphire... they're both so gorgeous...

[vsjhoc]

Re: Engagement Rings

I'm glad that you have found the one for you, congrats! On a side note, though, I urge you to get premarital counceling even if your state doesn't require you to. It will help you both in understanding each others views regarding money, children, ect., all the little things often overlooked.

This is such an important point that is getting overlooked in all this discussion about diamonds.

[joeswife]

Re: Engagement Rings

ummm....my husband and i got a nice cz set for me. its a half caret middle cz flanked by 3 czs on the sides in a triangle pattern. the bands are white gold. i got them at walmart for less than 50 fot the both..the reason? i live on a farm and feed horses, throw hay and work with my hands. id flip if i lost an expencive ring. besides...diamonds dont make it any more "real". but thats only what worked for me. you may ask her what she would rather have...the ring, or something else. id rather have something else.

but..
congratulations and good luck. i hope you get the information you need.