Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

[tinah0505]

I am a single mom struggling to make ends meet. Between camp expenses, back to school supplies, late tuition payments, rent, utilities (owed the gas co. $800 in June), credit cards, school loans, car, insurance, food, pets, etc. there is never enough to go around. I want to get myself out of debt and have money in my pocket. It's stressful and exhausting emotionally, physically and financially. Everyday is like a game where I try to figure out ways out of this mess. I have filed bankruptcy approx 3 years ago and since have incurred more debt. Unfortunately I didn't learn my lesson the first time or the next time when I took out a $10,000 personal loan but now I can't take it any longer. I purchased a house with my mother a few years back but since have moved out and the bills are overwhelming. I am trying to earn money any way possible. I am getting some things together to sell on ebay and I constantly look for part-time gigs on craigslist but it's not helping. I recently came across a program designed to help women who are not capable of fertility have children of their own by donating my eggs. This one in particular pays $5800 and takes approximately 8 weeks from start to finish. Does anyone out there have any personal experiences or advice for me. I am seriously considering this as a way to pay down debt. Am I doing it for all the wrong reasons? Btw, I have no moral issues with this. I think it's a kind favor that will make someone/couple very happy. Any thoughts?

[boefixepa]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

My sister did this and aside from the emtional roller coaster of the fertility drugs she has no lingering effects. She had had a historectimy (sp?) so she was done with here kids but still had her ovries. She'd done it three time and made similar money to what you mentioned each time. Made sure you understand the risks, it can cause infertility in you afterwards, and be ready for one hell of a PMS!

[sakigt]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

Not to mention the process involves stimulating excess egg production using hormones. My health is not something I would like to mess with...

[34saving]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

Well, a few things . . .1) Boefixepa is right. The hormones are HARD CORE. 2) The requirements are pretty hard core too. (For example I wouldn't qualify if my life depended on it since I'm an ancient 32 years old.) 3) Are you okay with kids you know nothing about? 4) Does the program cover medical care if something goes wrong? (Because chances are your insurance doesn't.)

[Staceyy]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

It sounds like you have a poverty consciousness and need to turn your money life around. There is no stability in your finances and consequently in your life. It sounds like you are living beyond your means. If you can't afford camp expenses and tuition expenses your kids should not be in camp and attending private school and you should not have pets. Your circumstances are not the same as a financially stable two income household. Stop trying to be what you are not. Get rid of the credit cards and borrowing which will continue to keep you mired in this nightmare of a situation. Get out now, or you will run around in this circle forever. Earning more money will not help you unless you learn to handle what you have correctly. You also need to learn to put limits on yourself and learn to live within those limits.

Continue to visit boards such as this and read and re-read books on finances. The Tightwad Gazette is a good book to start with. Turning your money life around will be hard at first but will eventually happen if you stick with it.

You know the answer to your question regarding selling your eggs, or you would not be asking. The company does not give something for nothing. I understand it is very painful, there are a lot of visits to the doctor, and for the rest of your life you will wonder about your child. Its not like this is an adoption and you can look the child up. Also it sounds like you are very unstable and I don't think its wise to bring another unstable child into the world.

Next year when you run out of money what are you going to do then? Sell another egg?

Best of luck to you, you can turn things around but you have to be honest with yourself and willing to work on your underlying issues.

[pearlieq]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

How old are you? Is your health and family history such that you would qualify as an egg donor?

[mariec99]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

I would also suggest to you that you look at other things before you dive into something like this. If you smoke, you are disqualified. I personally could never do it becasue I don't like the idea of my kids being out there and me not being involved in their lives.

I think it might be helpful for you to post your budget and then we might be able to help you see ways you could cut back on things.

You are considering this out of desperation. What are you going to do when you are over 32 and still keep getting into debt? You need to fix your issues with the way you think about money or you will just be in trouble again a year or so from now. You are already thinking of filing for bankruptcy again in four years, aren't you?

[greedy4chips]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

I agree with Staceyy on this one. You filed for bankruptcy once and now you are in debt again. By donating eggs you hope to get out of debt again. What if anything will you change about your income/expense shortfall?

I donate(sell) plasma and make $200-250/month for myself. It won't solve all your debt problems, but it will give you some money and is much less harmful to your body!

You have lots of areas in your list that could be cut back to help balance the budget.

I would not allow my wife to donate eggs and go through the hormone treatments.

[DivaJen]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

I would not allow my wife to donate eggs and go through the hormone treatments.

Interesting way to phrase things....

[Ima saver]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

I really think this is a serious matter and you should not consider doing anything so drastic.

[greedy4chips]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

Interesting way to phrase things....

Does that seem too harsh to say "not allow"? I guess I really meant, I would strongly encourage her to think about the ramifications of taking excess hormones and what it could do to her body.

My wife does not allow me to do things either. Am I whipped or what?

[tinah0505]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

How old are you? Is your health and family history such that you would qualify as an egg donor?

I am a 29 years old with a healthy family and self history. I did meet all of their requirements:
between ages 21 and 30; Good family health history; No genetic/hereditary diseases that run in family; drug fee; nonsmoker; not adopted; college educated;

[mariec99]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

Well before you make a decision, maybe you can talk to your student loan company about letting you pay interest until you catch up on some bills or build an emergency fund? Maybe there are places you can cut your expenses.

I just think someone who has managed to run up troubling debt again so soon after bankruptcy should deal with those issues first and not rush into a potentially life changing decision out of desperation.

[tinah0505]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

It sounds like you have a poverty consciousness and need to turn your money life around. There is no stability in your finances and consequently in your life. It sounds like you are living beyond your means. If you can't afford camp expenses and tuition expenses your kids should not be in camp and attending private school and you should not have pets. Your circumstances are not the same as a financially stable two income household. Stop trying to be what you are not. Get rid of the credit cards and borrowing which will continue to keep you mired in this nightmare of a situation. Get out now, or you will run around in this circle forever. Earning more money will not help you unless you learn to handle what you have correctly. You also need to learn to put limits on yourself and learn to live within those limits.

Continue to visit boards such as this and read and re-read books on finances. The Tightwad Gazette is a good book to start with. Turning your money life around will be hard at first but will eventually happen if you stick with it.

You know the answer to your question regarding selling your eggs, or you would not be asking. The company does not give something for nothing. I understand it is very painful, there are a lot of visits to the doctor, and for the rest of your life you will wonder about your child. Its not like this is an adoption and you can look the child up. Also it sounds like you are very unstable and I don't think its wise to bring another unstable child into the world.

Next year when you run out of money what are you going to do then? Sell another egg?

Best of luck to you, you can turn things around but you have to be honest with yourself and willing to work on your underlying issues.

Since moving moving out of my mothers house where we shared expenses to renting an apartment on my own (with my 10 year old daughter) I have been forced to cut out ALL extras. I have been trying to cut out everythign possible.

Camp is necessary becaue I am a full time working mom; Tuition is critical becaues I feel as though education is key. I don't want my daughter repeating my mistakes and I believe education plays a vital role in our lives and the outcome of our future. I have no other options in my areas except to send her to a neighborhood public school. She needs the discipline in private school as well as the stability in her life; I have disconnected my cell phone to cut costs; I work for comcast so I get phone/internet/cable for $21.00 month; Was on the budget plan for Gas ($125/month) and Electric ($80/month) but was hit with a true up bill from the Gas Co for almost $800. Since that we have been extremely conscious of everything in the apt. I used my air conditioners 5 times tops this entire summer. I never leave lights on. I cook several meals at one time; do dishes in cool water when possible (stopped using dishwasher); take quick showers (not everyday); Turn off all electronics and don' t leave anything plugged if not necessary; Iron several outfits at one time; And you have to realize that I dont get home from work until at least 6o pm. Alot of times we go home, get changed and are out the door for games, practice, friends house.... We are not home much and when we are it's only for short periods of time and to sleep; Also cut down daughters extra curricular activites to one per season; As for our pet, Teddy is part of the family. I don't feel like I can part with him becuae of my financial situation. What kind of message would that be sending my daughter? I don't want her to feel responsible for my own irresponsible behaviors; then you have unexpected car repairs (new tire 2 weeks ago); We don't eat out or go on vacation or do much of anything b/c of money; My daughter is often invited to do activities with friends and their family. I appreciate that because even though I give her money to join them at the fair, it’s less expensive than me driving her to the fair myself and spending money for us to do it together. However, it adds up.
I visit boards like this everyday searching for a solution. I am ready to change and have really tried these past couple months. I don't see light at the end of this tunnel. I almost thought about moving back home but I moved out for a reason. My mom and I didn' t get along. She interferred with me as a parent. My daughter has made significatn progess overall since moving out. She is more respectful, polite, independent, appreciative, helpful... It wouldn't do us any good to go back. Several fights have occurred since moving out all of which involved disciplining my daughter. She is too leanient and she thinks I am too tough. I know that I needed more discipline and I want so much more for my daughter. So that is my story. Can't really figure out how else to live within my means.

[tinah0505]

Re: Desperate Single Mom- EGG DONOR?

Well before you make a decision, maybe you can talk to your student loan company about letting you pay interest until you catch up on some bills or build an emergency fund? Maybe there are places you can cut your expenses.

I just think someone who has managed to run up troubling debt again so soon after bankruptcy should deal with those issues first and not rush into a potentially life changing decision out of desperation.

That is exactly what I am doing at the moment. I think I have exhausted all other means.