I just said "no"!

[autoxer]

Re: I just said "no"!

The one thing I never do is say, "I can't afford it."

When I pass on something because I don't want to spend the money, I'm making a choice. If I wish to explain myself, I'say something like, "Sorry, that's not in the budget this month." Maybe it's just me, but I think that the "can't afford it" response reflects a poverty mentality, and I'd rather see myself as empowered to fund my priorities. I don't skip dinner with friends because I can't pay the tab. I do it because I've made a commitment to direct my spending elsewhere.

And I have a lot of admiration for people with enough backbone to stick to a spending plan in the face of temptation and peer pressure. That's not an easy thing to do (although it gets easier with practice).

I like that. Make it positive and empowering.

[rob62521]

Re: I just said "no"!

Three close friends of mine are all going to dinner tonight at a restaurant I like. The four of us get along really well, and we have so much fun together. But I am really trying to keep my eating out costs down, so as much as I wanted to go, I just said sorry, can't afford it. They are not used to hearing this type of response from me (or anyone else). I'm proud of myself that I didn't cave to the substantial peer pressure.

Way to go! You have your goal and you are sticking with it! It's nice you have friends who want you around, tho! I liked the potluck idea, or maybe you could have them over for snacks.

[vsjhoc]

Re: I just said "no"!

Thanks to everyone for your support and advice.

Our group eats out and travels together on weekends, so saying "it's not in the budget" was a surprise to them. One of them took it personally, thinking that I didn't want to hang out with them anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth! But I've been playing it a bit too fast and loose with the budget lately, and I had an unpleasant surprise this weekend when I had a look at the bottom line of the checkbook register. Back on the Micromanager Money Wagon ...

[rob62521]

Re: I just said "no"!

Perhaps that person who you said took it personally also didn't want to think about his/her budget and when you brought that up, it made your friend uncomfortable.

[Ima saver]

Re: I just said "no"!

Yes, that is a possibility. When I discuss money with some people they just don't want to talk about. I am sure they don't want to think about their own finances It is amazing how few people in my area even have a savings account or a financial plan.

[vsjhoc]

Re: I just said "no"!

Perhaps that person who you said took it personally also didn't want to think about his/her budget and when you brought that up, it made your friend uncomfortable.

Absolutely correct, rob62521. She has been quite comfortable for years, but private school tuition for 2 kids plus a very messy divorce are taking a big toll on her finances.