Stay @ home mom money question

[mom-from-missouri]

How do you stay at home moms keep your money? I will be in this situation in a few months for the first time in my life,
and we will be having to make some decisions re garding money and such. Any ideas as to what way is best?? Is it best to have him give you a set amount of money each payday and keep it in your own account, or do you share a checkbook??

With my first husband, I could not share a checkbook with him as he never wrote any checks down. What he earned went to his account, & what I earned went to my account, and we each knew what bills we were responsible for each month. (We were still listed on each others accounts though)

But, this time around, I won't have any income-at least for now. We plan on me staying at home, to be available for the children. But, I will be planting a large garden (starting out with about 2 acres this first year-already plowed it) and getting chickens, ducks, turkeys, pigs and adding more cows. I will later get an income from what I sell, but that won't be till down the road aways, and I want to keep that income seperate anyway for tax purposes. (I want to try my hand at organic farming and the farmers market).

I don't want to deal in cash--I like that extra receipt of a debit card or cancelled check--for security and fraud protection, and for me it is easier to track.

How do you gals handle it, and what are the pro's and con's of your methods?? Thanks

[faspina]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I am not a gal, but the guy. My wife does not work. Sorry. Hopefully you'll accept my answer anyway.

I handle all the bills. everything we do is on the computer with MS Money. Unfortunatly my wife won't look at it. So the concequence is that everytime she goes to the grocery store or to get something for the kids. I have to tell her how much to spend and what method to use. She often calls me from the store and says, I am spending this month is it ok. Things get tight toward the end of the pay period and sometime we have to use the credit card. I will let her know that ahead of time. It was her choice because she does not want to take the time to look at it on a daily basis, so that task falls to me.

With 4 kids it is harder to budget so you have to have some flexibility. Birthdays, new shoes, lessons can wreck a budget. Since she is responsibly for scheduling these things, I have to go to her often and say what kind of money do we need this month. Again, it is her choice that it works this way and it works for us.

I get the paycheck bi-weekly. I pay the smaller bills, set aside money for savings and the bigger bills like mortgage and 6 month insurance premiums in another checking account. This works good because I know that the mortage money, savings and everything else will be there when I need it.

With MS MONEY I basically and balancing the checkbook everyday by downloading my transaction. It lets me keep a handle on it and keeps us from blowing the budget.

I won't buy anything over $50 unless I tell her and she will do the same. The exception is our biweekly trip to costco or the grocery store.

My suggestion is that you sit down now and delgate responsibility now at least to a point. I like the two account approach, it helps us to budget and to not eat out so often when we know we have money to spend. Also put it on the computer so that you can see where the money is going.

[DivaJen]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

DH writes every other check over to me. He pays the mortgage, saves for property taxes and a few minor bills. I pay for everything else and maintain the savings accounts. We have always had separate checking accounts - works for us. Communication is key to us - we both know exactly how much we earn and how much we spend month to month. No secrets.

[jodi]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I'm not exactly a stay-at-home mom anymore... but DH is now a student, so I guess you could call him the stay-at-home dad! We have both been a stay-at-home parent at times over the past year and this is how we work things out:
All checks go into either our checking/savings account or emergency fund savings account, depending on if we need the cash right away or not. I keep the checkbook and we both have debit and credit cards (DH hardly ever writes checks - when he knows he will need one, he will get it from me). For any major purchases ($50 or more), DH will ask me what card to use - otherwise, he uses his debit card. I log onto our account every 3-4 days to check the balance, keep up with the debits, and transfer money from savings if need be. I have found this method much, much easier than trying to get DH to remember to tell me every expenditure. I think it does help to have one person manage the money, rather than both trying to keep up on it. In our family, that happens to be me because DH would never remember. I personally think it's important for both people to have access to the money, to not be dependent on the other for it - JMO. This is what works for us. But I would definitely recommend an account with a debit card and online banking.
Congrats on being home!

[Firefly]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I am a SAHW and we have a budget that we both created together. Then we go through it and adjust it as needed if we need more money. We are able to put a decent amount into savings this way and still pay all our bills. We have a joint checking account. We ask each other before we spend anything over $100.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I am a SAHM and I do the paperwork, but before DH goes to the store I tell him what is availible, course he is usually right there so the optional money he was in on paying. meaning when we had a CC payment before I sent it I would say we have X amount how about we send Y leaving us with Z for groceries and gas till payday. (now it will hopefully be extra to the house not cc but same result)

corse we have no real 'discrecionary spending' but then we are broke we do splurge together, but not much. I would say less than 50 joint a month, and usually half planned (fries with peanut butter sandwhiches when out)

[nanamom]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I am a SAHM who does the bills. When we got married DH had over 60,000 in CC debt and I was debt free. He decided I could do it better. We are working on getting debt free and he is starting to comment and plan quite well. It was hard for him to get used to a budget. One of the cons of our method is his lack of knowledge about our finances (at first). He is better now though. If it ends up being only one of you doing the bills find a system where the other is made aware and has a voice in how everything is spent. Maybe a weekly meeting or just looking over the records every month or week. A different account for the farm stuff you do sounds like a good idea.

[flash]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I am a SAHM who does the bills. When we got married DH had over 60,000 in CC debt and I was debt free. .

Nanamom, I commend you for taking that challenge on. I'd be terrified of 60K in cc's. Hope you will tell us how you are doing on it sometime.

[Lemony]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I'm mostly a SAHM (I have a paper delivery job in the mornings, but it hardly qualifies as a career ). Paychecks are deposited into one joint account, and I manage all the finances. When DH deposits his check he takes out $100 cash and that lasts him the month. I budget the rest, leaving plenty in the account for debit card purchases like gas and groceries.

DH goes over the details with me about once per month, usually right before his next payday so he knows where we stand.

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

Ok first 2 acres? WOW, you're ambitious, go for it! I also garden and have sold small scale, will be doing farmers markets this year, I also raise our beef and have chickens.

In our household I handle ALL finances, hubby is financially challenged, lol, I took over day one and it just works best for both of us, he trusts me fully and I can sleep at night knowing all the bills are paid. I do occasionally chase hubby down and give him a quick run down on how we're doing but really he's happy as long as he has a $5 in his pocket and his lunch bucket is well filled every morning when he heads to work.

KJ

[dwallyfam]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

My husband doesn't want to deal with the finances. He'd rather be tinkering with something in the garage. He knows that if I am sleeping well, we are doing okay. If I am havng trouble sleeping he wants to know why.

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

My dh works ft & I work just pt I make anywhere from $100-$200 a week so he makes the majority of the money he has his own bills come straight out of his check like his truck payment & then he takes what he needs for gas fills up on payday & then takes what he needs to eat on gives me the rest.

I am not happy sometimes being in control of the money he calls me a grinch but then says we would be living on the streets if he was in control of the money & I know this he is a spender I am a saver!!! When I met dh he was flat broke living with his dad, I was a single mom living alone with my daughter with no help from anyone & never did get help not from the state or my ex & I was only 18 & we made the exact same he knew I was better with money than him thier was no question.

I hate being known as the grinch sometimes but we have so many friends who are so broke they have to sale thier house & file BK he thanks me that we have never had to do that & he knows we never will have too!! I tell him I will gladly hand it all over to him to control & he dont want it so guess I will keep being the bookeeper for us.

[Tree0164]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

My husband is the main bread winner and I have my own business-brings in about 1/4-1/2 his income. We pool our money and I do all the bills, and money management. I do keep my husband in the loop.

[shelbylovesmelby]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I give dh a set amt & it goes straight to his own checking account. IF he spends it all he has to check w/ me to find out "if" there is anything extra in my budget.

I also have a spread sheet set up for my weekly bills as dh is paid weekly. So I set aside $ from each check for the big items & then list the small ones on the week prior to the date due. That's worked really well for us that way I know if I need to go to savings and move $ for anything if we fall short that week.

Good luck OP with the farming & your budget.

[Ima saver]

Re: Stay @ home mom money question

I too handle all the money in the family. I pay my husband once a week, on Mondays and take it all in cash. I use the envelope method and budget everything for the week. He gets an allowance of $60 and he has to buy his own gas. I get a larger allowance but I pay for everything else. I have never used a debit card in my life or an atm.