Are your friends frugal?

[ummabdullah]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

I heartily agree. I am sick of feel-good news articles about a young couple who had three kids in a row under the age of 4 years when she doesn't work and he has been out of work for months or has a low paying job. The tv show or its viewers but them a house and car and a vacation somewhere. FAMILY PLANNING, PEOPLES.

Worse still, those who earn a huge amoun or at least a decent amount and none the less rely on others becasue they have been completely foolish with thier money.

NO WORK, NO SAVE: NO HOUSE, NO FOOD

I have always contributed to charities as have millions of millions of well-meaning people. I worry about where the $ goes. I have finally found a charilt to support which gives 100% of the $ to the charity recipients and will trust NOONE else to ensure the money is actually used appropriately.

My friends are not frugal and I am really excited, now, about frugality. You have to make that inner transition. Rich Dad Poor Dad was the first step.... I know he is controversial but it made me think. Then, articles about how cappitalism is a con. We are sucked into thinking spending $ will improve happiness. I was watching a fashion show and all these nonchalant models gliding fown the runway in designer clothes (or, stalking down the runway, they look really odd...) and I felt as if I was missing out on something.... and then caught myself. That feeling is what Docle and Gabbana and Vera Wang NEED to generate in us so we can net them billions.

Sadly my sister is one of those people who mooch off society. She had her first child at the age of 15 years old. And then 3 more boys in the past 4 years. One of the boys she gave up for adoption. she left the father and got with a guy who was younger than her.. and didn't work.. He still doesn't work.. and they not have 2 babies just off the breast.

I think my sister has a mental problem and really needs some help. It would be fair to ask the goverment to set guidelines in order to get support from them.

However, the goverment have made it even more difficult.. by telling her to look for a job.. while she has the babies.. and once you get a job.. how in the hell can you pay for 2 kids and all your bills?? The truth is that she really needs an education.. and mental help. I would say she may even need a strong forceful push by the goverment.. to leave her husband.. if he does not want to work or look for a job..
and create places that people have to sign up and monitors them looking for a job.. (the husband if married).. and education if a single mother with no childcare/ family.

[Duchesse]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

I havetwo frugal friends. TheY are on the ball. They never need to borrow. They have savings, investments, and a working knowledge of frugality and what it takes to save.

The rest spend like fools. They can't pay their bills, have large credit card debt. One had to go for credit counseling and consolidate and she still has fallen behind in those payments. She gets her hair, nails, eyebrows, and toes done on a regular, in what she calls a "Head to Toe", when she shops she does not shop sales, bulk, or use coupons. She had a jar of mustard which I saw she paid $1.69 . She thinks "life is too short to make a mission out of finding coupons."

One of my girlfriends has four kids and four grandchildren and she doesn't have one cent of life insurance. She doen't have $500. in the bank and she still owes me $200, which I'm sure I'll never get back. When she sees me she just acts like she forgot. I think she remebers enough not to ask for anymore loans.

You can't win over people like this. They believe you do it your way and I'll do it mine.

[pearlieq]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

My friends run the full gamut

I have one friend who seems faily sensible about money and interested in budgeting. She does a lot of shopping, but they purposely bought less house than they could afford and seem to make other prudent decisions.

I have another who, for the life of me, I cannot figure out how she makes ends meet. They have 3 kids, and the husband has a good job but makes a modest salary. She works a bit part time, but I think they're just barely hanging on. She's my source for finding fun, free things to do. She seems to know about them all!

I have one who is just starting out. She's had to support herself from when she was about 15, so she's tough and has a lot of "street smarts" where money is concerned. She put herself though college and got a full time job, so now she's trying to learn about money and get her finances in order.

My other friend is a total financial disaster. Her husband is a well paid professional, but they just can't control their spending. They're upside down on their house, have all kinds of fancy toys, and are constantly planning some kind of home improvment. I love her dearly, but it's very hard to hang out with her sometimes because she likes to unload on me about her woes. I'll never forget the time she was telling me that her debt keeps her up at night while she was buying 3 $9.50 bottles of sunscreen at Walgreeens (Ever heard of Wal-Mart???). I don't really know what to say to her so I just let her vent while I bite my tonuge.

[Ima saver]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

We had one guy that worked for us. The poor guy was 70 and still had to work full time to support his wife's habit. Hair done, nails done, tanning booth, etc., every single week. It cost him about $150 a week and that was 10 years ago. Then she went and got a face lift and blew his savings! I haven't spend $150 on my hair and nails in my life probably! (except hair color, which I do myself)

[Bookie]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

What strikes me about so many of the people I know (well enough to chat about finances) isn't that they're paricularly extravagant, it's that they are commited to a standard of living that leaves them no margin. The bills are met, the obligations are satisfied, the Joneses are kept up with, but that takes it all. There's no slack in the budget, and no room for error.

In their own way, they are thrifty. They shop sales, buy domestic caviar, fill up the SUV at the cut-rate gas place, and hold frequent garage sales. With working wives, these families have adequate income to cover the take-out meals, cleaning women, commercial laundry, and daycare expenses, but things do get tight some months.

Franky, they're stretched. Christmas can throw them for a loop. Summer camp for the kids is a fiscal crisis. There's only so much they can do with two incomes, however well they manage, and if anything should ever rock that boat . . .

[Dido]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

Hmmm, interesting to see that *most* people here are saying that no, their friends are *not* frugal.

I would say that most of my friends--at least the ones I'm socializing with these days--are frugal. I do have several "work friends" from a former job who are much less frugal than I am, whom I still talk to occasionally and consider friends, but whom I don't actually go out with much these days.

The friends whom I socialize with these days are frugal in the "simple living" sense--they are people who are concerned in living in line with their values. Most of these people are either already at or nearing retirement and have had well-paying careers, and most of them have considerably more discretionary income than I do. What this means is that when we socialize, most often we do things that are fun and don't cost a lot--potluck dinners, blueberry picking in the mountains, going for walks or bike rides, having a knitting group. But because my friends have more income, they'll talk about their world travels--something I would love to do, but can't afford to at the moment--and occasionally events come along which I am invited to but can't afford. Once I was invited to go along when a friend of my friends was doing a show at a local restaurant. Nobody thought to mention to me that there was a $45/per person price fixe dinner that went along with the event! That's an amount of money which my friends can afford to spend for dinner that I cannot. I remember to ask about associated costs now before making a commitment! Because my friends' income is more than mine, I have to think about costs more than they do. But those kinds of events come along rarely.

On the opposite side, I have considerably more discretionary income than my boyfriend does, and I know that this generates the same kinds of tensions in the other direction. But it's been very helpful to me in downscaling. In particular, one of my passions is dining out at ethnic restaurants. I press DBF much less to go out to these than I used to. And while the first year we were together, we bought each other more spendy gifts (I spent about $160 and he spent about $40), now we pretty much just agree to set aside a bit more time to spend with each other and forgo the gift exchange altogether. The best thing he can do for me is to help me with (and teach me how to do!) minor home repair/maintenance that I would otherwise have to hire a handyman to do, and in return, I do his taxes every year and cook for him a lot more often than he cooks for me. (I'm glad we had that first year, though: the $160 was for a thick down comforter and duvet cover set which he'll be using for the 10th winter this coming year....definitely a big improvement in his comfort level and a large expense well worth the price!

[rob62521]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

I would say the majority of my friends are not frugal. It's kind of depressing because it's difficult to talk about things because the bulk of their conversation is what they've bought or what they are going to buy. Yet, this one couple in particular, both retired recently, don't have their house paid off, owe on both cars, just got a home equity loan to do some remodeling, but said they didn't think they could have us over for a cookout with hamburgers and hot dogs because they needed to cut back.

As for some of the other posts, yes, it's disgusting when people don't save anything and feel they are entitled for financial help when things get too rough. It's one thing if someone gets struck by a sudden, devasting illness or had an accident and everything is wiped out due to cost. But to live high on the hog and then whine when they don't have the money is ridiculous. Yet, so many in society do just that. At my school, I've had parents come in and demand that I buy their kids pencils, paper, school pictures, etc. because they are in poverty. These are the same parents who have gold jewelry, big newer cars, big screen t.v.'s, and just went out and bought junk food again (or liquor). We've created a nation of folks who have a false sense of entitlement and are not responsible for themselves.

[Dido]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

The place where I really see a discrepancy is between myself and my sister. I live across the country from her and my mom, and it's really hard to find activities that are mutually enjoyable for all three of us. My mom and sister love to watch reality TV; I don't watch TV at all. My sister loves to shop; I don't. I love exploring ethnic restaurants when I go out to L.A.; my sister has germ-related phobias that are at their worst when she dines in a restaurant. We both used to like to hike, but her knees have been done in by arthritis so she can't anymore. She reads the fashion magazines and buys expensive jewelry; I could give a whit for fashion and virtually the only jewelery I wear is cheap earrings. It's really hard to find common ground to talk to her other than about relationships.

[Ima saver]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

Iknow one of the couples that we built a house for told me she was amazed at how well we did since she knows exactly what my husband makes for a living. She and her husband make about triple that and gone on fancy trips 4 or 5 times a year!

[rob62521]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

Sometimes it isn't what you make, but what you do with it.

[mariec99]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

I had to drop two married friends becasue of their ridiculous cheapness. I'm all for not wasting money, but they were ridiculous and rude about not spending money and sticking me with bills.

[rob62521]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

That's where cheapness costs more in the long run. I have a friend like that. He hardly ever buys anything new unless he absolutely has to. He won't go out with friends because it might cost him something whether it is money or time. I'm not talking fancy restaurant or bar -- I'm talking a cup of coffee. His shoes have holes in the bottom of them so he just puts cardboard inside. He makes decent money and always talks about retiring early. But I don't think he invests. He did penny stocks a few times and lost his shirt! I think he's going to wind up a lonely old man because he's so cheap with his time and his money.

[sakigt]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

Well I was happy to see a group of 10-15 of my friends being frugal when we went to a local baseball game.

They used one of my coupons for 2 for 1 tickets by pairing up.

They stood in line for $1 beers multiple times instead of buying a large one for $6 once.

And they made sure to minimize the number of cars to save gas and parking money.

I was pretty amused by it all

[Broken Arrow]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

His shoes have holes in the bottom of them so he just puts cardboard inside. He makes decent money and always talks about retiring early. But I don't think he invests. He did penny stocks a few times and lost his shirt!

How very odd this person is. To be so cheap... and yet to have invested in something so aggressive. To suffer so unnecessarily now, for what kind of gains later on in the future? And through what investment strategy, if any?

[rob62521]

Re: Are your friends frugal?

How very odd this person is. To be so cheap... and yet to have invested in something so aggressive. To suffer so unnecessarily now, for what kind of gains later on in the future? And through what investment strategy, if any?

My friend wanted to retire early, I guess. Well, he's over 50 so his penny stocks weren't successful. I think he figured the stock market was a good place to make money because his dad invested in stocks, but not penny ones. He invested throughout his lifetime and made a tidy little nest egg.

He used to date someone, but she finally told him farewell because his idea of a date was she would make dinner, and then, if they went to a movie, it was dutch treat. That's why I think he's going to be a lonely old man one day.