surviving with very little money

[kilcher]

I'd love to know how this turned out. 4 kids living in one bedroom and the hubby refuses to give up his $120 a month smoking habit or kick out his deadbeat friend. Nice.

[Fred333]

Yea that $120 smoking habit is a rough one to stomach.

[honestfinancialwork]

turn your thinking totally around

Hello Fred, I have just started this blogging thing as my friends, co-workers, clients, family etc have been pushing me for a yr. to do it. I just submitted an intro which you might want to read. I have such a different way of looking at money that I think sharing it could help. Do I know what it is like to live on very little???? You bet I do??? I came from the single mom situation----me being the single mom. I lived far below poverty level even though I worked 3 jobs. I lived in a home where the blankets froze to the walls and snow drifts were in the bedroom corners. Vehicle-1972 Chyrsler Newport. Water running down the walls and rats- only in the basement. Our phone had to be taken outside like on Green Acres when it would not work. At was the most beautiful country home(seriously) and people begged me to let them live there if I left. I did leave two yrs. ago and my grown daughter and her hubby (who both have wonderful incomes) now reside there. Despite the financial challenges I experienced my daughter attended private schools, graduated from UW Madison(top 10 in colleges) and was top of the class. I traveled a great deal, had a big savings and pd for my new vehicles in cash. I also pd. my college education, dressed nicely, bought nice items etc... I had no credit cards and no loans. Was I wonder Woman??? Absoutely Not. I just knew the facts about money and never thought about it as an issue. I thought all people thought that way. It is just energy. I saw your list of expenses with the rent at the top. That is the first expense for people and the biggest one they pay first. Guess what research says is next??? nO IT IS NOT FOOD, INSURANCE, LOANS, CREDIT CARDS, gas etc.... it is Miscellaneous. That is what I knew that helped me to so well financially. I also knew the positives to debt. Research says that only 10% of people are willing to make major changes in life as they have to let go of the positives to bad relationships, debt, crummy jobs, smoking, over eating etc... Knowing that saves my life each and every single day. Karen

[LuxLiving]

Karen, it sounds like you did a terrific job keeping your miscellanous down to nil!! Keep posting - everyone here can use your sensible money approach!

[Ingtar17]

Wow! I can understand how you would be upset with someone mooching off you for an entire year while you are just scraping by. If you can't throw him out, you might want to consider starting to keep track of what he's costing you every month. Lay it out nice, so it's easy to see and show it to your husband. Hopefully he will see the light and kick him out. If not, maybe you could let him know you're keeping track and that he'll owe you that amount when he's back on his feet.

Not sure if that helps. It's probably a difficult thing to do if your husband is not behind you.

[alexjc]

Your problem with the deadbeat friend reminds me of that film that recently came out- You. Me & Dupree. Similar situation. I agree with Cheaply Clever- Give them the boot they need to get themselves sorted, spunging off you isnt the answer. I'd try and get them out fo teh house for good unless they re lodging and pay a good amount of all the bills THEY incur. Its only fair!

[leggzz66]

WOW!!! Our library rents out movies,discs,tapes for free! Only charges are when your late or lose it. Maybe its cause our local library is actually the head of all librarys in our county. maybe thats why it dont charge, other then late fees only fees they make are geneology,copies,faxs, online print outs.

[jasanderson]

Sounds to me like if she hasn't gotten smart and kicked the friend out yet maybe she should kick the husband out too.

[St. Theresa]

I could use the same advice. I work from home, but my business is sort of disorganized right now. I had the misfortune of ending up with a man who turned out to be a Narcissist - in short, everything he seemed to be was actually the opposite of who he really was.

Not only did he help me max out the refinancing opportunities on my house, but he steered my business into the direction he wanted it and the tools that I have right now are very tedious and difficult - software with lots of bugs. I do a lot of work for my clients and end up making much, much less than the $50/hour consulting fee I normally charge.

So here I am alone with two teenagers. My child support is only $144/week. My mortgage went from $800 in 2003 to $1400 after two refinances. The only good thing that has come out of the refi's is that I now own my car outright, I have a new mattress which is better for my bad back and I have no credit card debt. I can't, well, 'cuz, my credit is so bad now, I can't even HAVE a card.

My barebones monthly expenses:

$1400/mortgage
$300/utilities
$100/cable TV and Internet
$100/phone - a business line - the only one I have
$40 for medical past medical bills
$50 for monthly medical expenses (on the average.)
$20 water bill
$50 gasoline for my car
$250 for groceries
$90 for car insurance

So I need $2400/month for just the basics. Of course, there are expenses that aren't listed here. Household necessities, repairs, money for the kids' school stuff, clothing, expenses for two cats, etc. etc. It would also be nice to put some money away. As of right now, I have no savings, no retirement funds, no stock and no college funds for my kids. I also have some business expenses.

Since the expenses aren't going anywhere, the income needs to increase to around $4000/month. All by myself. There are no jobs in my area that will net me this much and, even if there were, it would mean leaving my two teens unsupervised more than teenagers should be.

So what would you do in my shoes? I've got a brain, two hands which type fast, good computer knowledge (software AND hardware) and some web development skills. What's the first thing you would try to do (aside from getting a housemate)?

Edit: Oh, also moving is not an option I consider (anymore.) My son is in a high school which is great for him, so I need to hang in there for that for at least 2 1/2 more years. But by then, my daughter will be a junior, and I probably won't want to uproot her, so now I'm talking at least 4.5 years.

[Coleroo]

I could use the same advice. I work from home, but my business is sort of disorganized right now. I had the misfortune of ending up with a man who turned out to be a Narcissist - in short, everything he seemed to be was actually the opposite of who he really was.........
So what would you do in my shoes? I've got a brain, two hands which type fast, good computer knowledge (software AND hardware) and some web development skills. What's the first thing you would try to do (aside from getting a housemate)?

The first thing i would do is cut cable and internet expenses down - get dial up and a basic cable plan (savings of around $50+ or more per month, which is enough to start a retirement fund at TROWE PRICE). Then i'd check your utilities...i know it can get high but is there anything you and your teens can do to immediately improve the high utility situation?

...i would also cut out the phone line expense. $100 seems wayyy too high for one line. is there extras you can truly do without (caller ID, voice mail, etc... you can get a $20 digital answering machine from walmart)?

Next i would focus on expanding my sources of passive income.... you have great webskills?? start a blog and update it every day with detailed knowledge of something you're passionate about (you can get a cheap host and set up wordpress). buy a cheap domain... get it into google... keep track of your stats for 3 months and work to build visitors. then add a few adsense (it will build a good passive stream within a year...i have first hand knowledge with this!). are you artistic? design artwork with a theme and open a store at cafepress.com (again, i have first hand experience that this works).

both your son and your daughter are old enough to where they can start supporting their own "wants" like high fashion clothing, electronics, playstations, makeup, etc.... they can get a job.....after the age of 14 or so i dont believe any parent should have to buy teen "wants" .... "needs" (food, basic clothing, shelter) yes, but not frivolous "wants". they should also be able to pay for extracurricular activities --- can you cut back in that area? those fees rack up fast!! maybe you could, say, agree to pay for one a year and they foot the rest.... it would also be a good time to teach them about finances. do they know your household financial situation? many fine kids are more than willing to pitch in when parents are honest about whats going on (and i dont mean to "pay electric bills" but to "foot their own wants" and help you manage extraneous expenses). perhaps your teens have a better insight into ways you guys can immediately cut back in some areas!

dont worry over not having a college fund. your children will survive with or without one --- but what are you going to do when you are "old"? you need a retirement fund and that should be your first focus. you do not want to end up at 65 years old with no savings and a "highly educationed" son. i know a mother's first instinct is to put her children first - but in this case you MUST put yourself first by focusing on your personal savings and retirement...because in doing so, you will be creating an easier future for your children in the long run!

also, dont look into the past - focus on the future. dont berate yourself or regret your past..... things can be done now to change your situation... you have full control of your life. HURRAY for having no credit card debt! you dont need a card. and hurray for having a loan free car title! now run that car in the ground for the next decade! dont be tempted to upgrade on a whim (its easy to be tempted!).

you should also keep (at least for a year) a DETAILED track record for where any and all money goes in your household. if you're not ready for a true budget, dont try yet --- just step by step... start tracking where everything is going. by doing that you'll get a feel for how your cash flows, where you can cut back and then out of that your budget will evolve. you'll also find weird things you never realized (i.e. $200 for cat toys? ... $50 for a pair of Etnies???... $889 for starbucks?? etc etc..) and you'll be able to cut out and put that money elsewhere.

[St. Theresa]

I couldn't survive with dial-up. It's not just matter of preferring high speed. I need it for work. We have extended basic cable for TV and most of my favorite TV shows are on channels I would not get without extended basic. I don't do much for fun, so TV is really it. Plus, if I downgrade my TV package, I'll have to pay more for my Internet service. Oh, how I love Comcast. Can we have some competiton in this market, please??

The $100 phone bill is truly the best I can do. It's a business phone. If I don't use a business phone, I don't get listed in the yellow pages. It gives me unlimited local and long distance calling. Without the plan, it would be much higher. All the extras come with the plan and although I do have answering machines, voice mail sounds much more clear to my prospective customers than the machines do.

And I've kept track of everything for years in Quicken. Still do. And yeah, I don't worry too much about college because a) my son will probably not go - he's in a tech school and he will graduate with certifications and be ready for work. My daughter gets good grades and will probably end up with scholarships and as long as our government stays relatively sane, there will be grants and loans.

I'm about as frugal as I can be with utilities, heat, water, and everything else you can imagine. When the kids are with their dad every other weekend, the heat goes WAY down, most of the lights are off, and I'm quite happy with a package of Ramen noodles with a scrambled egg cooked in and a small can of peas. I also have a fireplace, so if I do have a chance to curl up and watch TV for the night, that works as a heat source for the livingroom. I don't mind bundling up.

There's very little to cut. What I need is more income. I'm working on big time web sites as we speak. It ain't easy work. PHP, MySQL, XML, Ajax, Flash, Java, Javascript. What's infuriating is that no matter what you do, your sites are going to look different depending on the screen resolution, the OS and the browser. Just when you think something's perfect, you look at it in another browser and, well, head meet desk. I'm trying to steer away from these tedious projects and focus on the easy money. For example, I have a client who will pay me to come "find" his email. He'll open Outlook and see the "Outlook Today" screen and think his email "disappeared." I go over and click once and his email is back and he'll give me $20.

I also have many domains but I have to work on my own sites to attract differnent types of jobs. Right now, I'm only found for real estate web design, which is what I really need to get the heck away from.

I've herniated my second lumbar disc (had surgery on one a few years ago) and now it's back to doctor's app'ts, an MRI on Saturday, prescriptions. Even with heath insurance, the co-pays are killers.

[jasanderson]

I resisted for years to go high speed and paid 9.95 a month with netzero. Once I finally upgraded I would get a part time job if necessary just to pay for it. It is an incredible time waster and if you need to be online for your business why put that in jeopardy?

You may pay more for your internet if you were to downgrade your TV package but do you realize you can watch a lot of shows online now? Our cable was disconnected a year ago and we lived until this fall without when DH had it connected one day. I find that with it I waste a lot more time glued to the TV and have a harder time getting things done. With 2 small children my new favorite is to spend a few hours on the weekend when they are sleeping catching up on my favorite ABC shows. I can watch at my leisure and sometimes catch up on the past 2-3 week worth of shows. i no longer plan my life around missing Desperate Housewives! If you only had internet you could save quite a bit of money per month.

I would recommend checking with your utility company to see if they offer energy audits. I'm not sure how much square feet you are heating but we live in Minnesota, heat 1000 sq ft house and 1200 sq foot garage and our highest bill was $250 for gas & electric. I scheduled one this summer and it was eye opening for sure. Our house was built in the 50's and it leaks horribly. Little things like caulking around the windows, resealing your windows, covering windows in plastic, resealing your doors and kick plates and putting insulation foam pieces behind your electrical outlets has made a HUGE difference in our house.

It is very important that you routinely have your furnace serviced. I always thought that was hooey but after having it done this fall we cut our furnace run time down to half of what it was taking. You also mentioned a fireplace. If this is wood fireplace they are a HUGE energy waster as your warm air goes right out the huge hole in the wall if you are not using it. Make sure your flue is closed and it may look silly but have someone measure a piece of wood that would fit in the hole and then tack that pink styrofoam insulation to it. You could use that to cover the hole when your fireplace is not in use.

I am not sure what kind of insurance drug coverage you have but check to see if they offer an option of mail in service. Our company drug plan offers this and you can 2 months of prescriptions for one co-pay. Also, Walmart now has a list of generic drugs that they give for $4.00 I am not sure how intensive the list is but maybe there are alternatives to some of the stuff you are taking that are on the list.

The only other advice I would have is to check with your doctor/physical therapist to see if you can buy an inversion table. They are relatively inexpensive, maybe $200 for a decent one. My friend has disc problems and her husband hangs her upside down on the clothes line with these moon boot looking things to stretch out her back. It's hilarious and she feels like her own freak show but she swears by it. If you ever watch HSN and see Jack Teeter on there he talks about his Teeter Hangups inversion tables and what a difference inversion has made on his life. You can find his story on their company website as well. I am NOT any type of spokesperson or salesperson or anything else for this company but in theory the idea is super and my chiropractor actually has good things to say as well. I think the Teeter ones are kinda spendy and I have seen cheaper versions online so you would want to do your research first but it may save you a fortune in doctor bills.

[leggzz66]

i dumped thee ole landline altogether, so no dial up for me, not that id want it anyway, after the feel of dsl/cable, i couldnt deal with it. I saved 70 plus dumping my phone, costs 55 approx for my rr turbo. I think it would be cheaper if cable here wasnt a monopoly. I hear ya on the comcast comment down there, we have time warner only here, nothing else. Theres still major freeway construction going on here so dsl cant be even laid yet, they said 2 more years, so no competition in sat,cable, or phone. Sure you could get dish network or direct tv here, but we live in the flood plains, how often do you want to look at searching for signal? Its all trees around here, so forget about the 80+ percent signal too. Here it is Christmas time and its like seattle out there. Id like to know where all this rain is when the farmers need it! oy! Even still with sat's, noooo internet availabilitys, cause freeway redo's, no dsl optics have even been laid or expect to do so for 2 years. I have seen comcasts offers, seems loads cheaper then im paying for tw. My cable bill/internet, is approx 120. thats for basic extended cable, heck ours charges 2 dollars for just wgn and tbs!

[St. Theresa]

Well, the other problem with dial-up is that you have to use your phone line. I need to be online while I speak to clients on the phone.

And yeah, if I miss an episode of something I like, I know I can find it online somewhere. But I spend so much time in front of the computer, I like watching TV in the living room or my bedroom. Last night was so cozy lying in bed watching the movie, "Castaway."

As far as the inversion table, a former nurse suggested I find a cheap, flat door to rest up against a sofa or a bed to get the stretching effect you get from inversion therapy. I spoke to my neurosurgeon about the whole concept and while he agrees that stretching can't hurt, there's no way it's going to put a herniated disc back together. It's not just protruding. The disc material has busted out. That is the point of no return.

As for my scripts, there's nothing expensive that I'm on for a long period of time. Like Percocet...I need it when I need it, which is now.

If I do end up on something long-term, I'd look into mail order for sure!

My furnace...oy. It's probably older than me. It just needs to be replaced. I'm on the verge of being eligible for a forgivable loan for home repairs. I may just get some much needed stuff done around here that will make the house more energy efficient.

*crosses fingers*

[boomeyers]

Sounds like you have it under control as long as nothing disasterous happens! You might want to join the online survey things, like Mypoints. I used my points from Mypoints to buy gift cards to give as gifts. Also good for getting GC to Home Depot for the house fix ups.