"Spending Addict, Need Help"!!!

[deadgoon]

Good point DisneySteve. That was the realization I came to a few days ago. You can say, "I want to live in Wyoming" all you want, but if you don't have a plan, you don't really have a goal, and you'll never live in Wyoming.

[cameorose]

"More good Idea's"!

Keep them coming, the more idea's the better off I'll be. And maybe some other's as well.
What started this whole frugal thing was this: I'm use to buying on a whim, I see, I buy. Well thing's in the u.s. are not good right now. Gas,Food,Medicene well it just is out of sight. Well my mother had a heart attack a month ago. She's doing better now. But she has no saving's. NONE! she spent her life buying crap. And now she will never be able to work again. We have to get her signed up for early ss. I don't want this to happen to me. I want to learn from her example of what not to do. As I do soul searching perhap's I am doing like my mother did. That is her pattern. See I just had a break threw moment!!!! Oh God I am my mother!! Must change this pattern NOW!! Eureka, Thank's Y'all Cameorose

[disneysteve]

What started this whole frugal thing was this: I'm use to buying on a whim, I see, I buy. Well thing's in the u.s. are not good right now. Gas,Food,Medicene well it just is out of sight. Well my mother had a heart attack a month ago. She's doing better now. But she has no saving's. NONE! she spent her life buying crap. And now she will never be able to work again. We have to get her signed up for early ss. I don't want this to happen to me. I want to learn from her example of what not to do. As I do soul searching perhap's I am doing like my mother did. That is her pattern. See I just had a break threw moment!!!! Oh God I am my mother!! Must change this pattern NOW!! Eureka, Thank's Y'all Cameorose

I don't know why anyone pays for therapy. They should just come here and get the same service for free.

[cschin4]

The first step is understanding yourself. If you see something, you will want to buy it. Now that you know that, you can work with that. Here are some of my suggestions:

1. Don't shop - I don't mean never. But, only shop with a list and when you need something. And, I have found that I am much better off shopping at the local grocery store or local little shop than going into Walmart which seems to make me lose all sense of reason. I rarely go into Walmart or any big box type stores because if I do I go into a shopping "mode" and always spend at least $100 on stuff I didn't even know I wanted until I was there!
So, I haven't been at Walmart in months. Stay out of stores where you know you tend to impulse buy.

2. Time and Money - Another trick I use on myself is "time and money". If I see some impulse item I want (usually when I am at Walmart) I allow myself to put it in my cart and walk through the store with it. Then, I take it back and put it back on the shelf. I tell myself that if I can still remember what it was I wanted so badly in a week later, then I will allow myself to go buy it. Usually, after the week passes I rarely can even remember what it was I wanted or why.

3. Tags are your friend - If you do impulse buy something, fine. Do not remove the tags or use the item. Take it home and let it sit overnight or for a couple of days. Make sure you have the receipts. That will allow you a "cooling" off period and then if you realize you should not have purchased it then return it.

4. Don't be a Slave to your Stuff - Every time you buy something you are basically trading your time ( the time you spend working) for that stuff. The more stuff you buy, the more time you will spend working to pay for that. Less stuff means earlier retirement and less years spent on the job paying for that stuff. If you love to work and plan to work forever, maybe that pyschology won't work on yourself. But, most people do want the ability to walk away at some point. For every $1 you spend you have to earn at least $1.25 to pay for the merchandise and your income tax.

4. Happiness is Free - Learn to enjoy the things in life that really bring happiness. Watching a sunset. Taking a meal to a sick neighbor, etc.
More stuff means more stuff to clean, to keep track of, to learn to use, to read the 40 pg instruction manual , to buy accessories for and on and on. The simple life is much more enjoyable in my opinion.

Changing your money habits is not just a matter of self control as in a diet. It is not gritting your teeth and hanging on to your money though that is often the starting point. You will be truly content when you learn to make your money work for you. When you make thoughtful purchases on things you really want vs. just buying for the sake of buying. When you realize that staying at home and enjoying what you have is way better than another trip through some gift shop.

[mikewoodbooks]

Cameorose, my first choice would be to go cold turkey, and buy nothing but necessities (groceries). If you absolutely can not do that, then give yourself an allowance. example - set aside $25 a week to spend on whatever you want guilt free, but everything else goes to necessities and savings. Concurrently, make sure your necessities are really necessities! nobody needs new clothes every month.
Also, tune out commercials. don't read sales flyers. And frankly, it may require excusing yourself if you have spendthrift friends who constantly yak about their latest outfit or electronic gizmo.

[cschin4]

Also, stop looking for a "good deal". I don't shop sales, go to multiple stores, etc because more exposure means the more I will buy. For me, I buy what i need when I need it whether or not it is "on sale" or a "good deal". A friend of mine is always looking for some a good deal then he crows about all the useless junk he buys. All I see are $$ being frittered away. It is his money and he can do what he wants but then he complains about spending too much as well.

[mikewoodbooks]

Another point is to not beat yourself up too badly. Yes, we are each responsible if we get into debt and don't control our spending habits. But from our political leaders who set the example of running a deficit, to watching TV and movies where everyone lives a Hollywood lifestyle, to a bombardment of credit card offers - our culture promotes a culture of debt. And part of the process of getting off that train track is just being aware that society is manipulating you to be that way.
People like those on savingadvice who have learned to 'just say no' are in the minority. And sometimes that actually means being looked down upon by friends who can't believe that you would rather order water than shell out $4 for a coffee.

[disneysteve]

People like those on savingadvice who have learned to 'just say no' are in the minority.

This is unfortunate, but true, and worthwhile to point out. Someone stumbling upon this site seeing lots of people who strive to be responsible with their money might think they are the strange ones. In fact, it is we who are the strange ones in our society.

How often do we hear the stats? 70% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. The average household credit card debt is about $9,000. One in eleven homes is in foreclosure. The national savings rate is a negative number. Most baby boomers are not adequately preparing for retirement. The news goes on and on.

So yes, those of us maxing out our Roths and 401ks, contributing to 529 plans, paying our CC charges in full each month and otherwise living below our means are the exception rather than the rule... but we're working here to change that.

[rob62521]

Also, stop looking for a "good deal". I don't shop sales, go to multiple stores, etc because more exposure means the more I will buy. For me, I buy what i need when I need it whether or not it is "on sale" or a "good deal". A friend of mine is always looking for some a good deal then he crows about all the useless junk he buys. All I see are $$ being frittered away. It is his money and he can do what he wants but then he complains about spending too much as well.

I wonder if we have the same friend! So much of his conversation is about what he's bought or what he's going to buy. It gets tiresome listening to him after awhile.

I concur with many of the posters...don't go into a store and be lured by their marketing techniques. These places spend tons of money figuring out how to get people to buy stuff...such as putting the groceries at eye level to make it easier to see or putting things on the end of shelving so people think they are getting a good deal. Be like Santa...make a list and check it twice! Then don't buy anything else. Good luck on your savings journey.

[stressedmama]

Don't know if you have kids yet, but I find I like to spend money going out and doing things rather then on stuff like clothes. So to keep my spending down in this area, I've made some written and some mental list of places in the metro area that are cheap/free to take my kids to on days I'm off or on the weekends. We do a lot of picnics in various parks around town, go to the zoo, science center, etc which are all free activities around here. Plus local theatres have free movies at various times during the summer, etc.

There are a lot of other free/cheap events in our area to (if you are single or are just hanging out with a friend for the evening). Keep an eye out in your local paper, check restaurants/venues ahead of time for special deals or free periods (example The Muny, our outdoor venue that does live plays/musicals in the summer in St. Louis, has about 150 free seats in the back that they allow anyone to sit in on a first come first serve basis). Our symphony gives I think 50 free tickets away on a first come first serve basis too.

By planning ahead of time, my family has been able to do a lot of fun activities while still staying on a pretty tight entertainment budget.

[mikewoodbooks]

Also saving money is like losing weight, exercising and eating a healty diet. Everybody can tell you that it's what you should do, but only you can actually make the decision to do it for yourself. Everybody here will cheer you on, but in the end, you must turn yourself around from a negative path to a positive path. Here's another carrot to dangle - your stress goes down a huge amount when you're not living paycheck to paycheck and you have an emergency fund in the bank.

[cameorose]

"More Good Suggestion's"!

I like them, I now have a good list of idea's. I have made me a folder and I am keeping track of every thing. I work with women who spend money like crazy. They eat out every day. Breakfast and lunch. There is alway's a list going around. Today, I didn't order! The sound of their shock could be heard for a mile. I took a small jar of peanut butter and a sleve of cracker's. A Tuna fish sandwhich on toast, and carrot stick's. I ate the peanut butter cracker's for breakfast the rest at dinner. I saved around $8.00 today! I just had ice water to drink. Didn't spend a dime the rest of the day. Great start, I hope I do well tommorrow. CameoRose

[JanH]

Great start! Good for you!

[Daylily]

Congrats on taking your lunch today and not spending $8.00.
Taking my lunch to work every day has saved me a lot of money over the years. I use that money to contribute to my retirement accounts and to my vacation fund.

[mikewoodbooks]

You're on a roll, keep it up! I've been taking my lunch to work for 30 years. I guarantee that's at least $30,000 I've saved cummulatively just from that. Is there anyone here for whom $30K wouldn't make a big difference? This goes to show you the power of one little thing. Now when you add in dropping the cable, getting DVDs for free at the library instead of paying for them at Blockbuster, turning up (or off) the AC when you leave for work, etc it all adds up.