Getting Married.... Frugally... Is it Possible?

[sweeps]

Also make your own pew bows, don't buy them. There's a tool you can buy at places like Michael's that helps you tie them. (Always use a 40% or 50% coupon when shopping at Michael's.)

[disneysteve]

(Always use a 40% or 50% coupon when shopping at Michael's.)

This is a great tip that we have been taking full advantage of in planning our daughter's Bat Mitzvah in September. We started a 2-3 months ago going to AC Moore and Michael's almost weekly. Each time, we buy one item with the weekly coupon and nothing else. I haven't added up the savings, but I'm sure it is at least $50 so far. By planning in advance and being able to pick up items one by one, we're going to save quite a bit by the time we're done.

[eisor]

I just got married 9 month ago. We had a wedding with 6 (supposed to be 7) attendants, 140 guests and a catered sit down meal for less than $5,000. It was great! Everyone really enjoyed it.

For details, check out my wedding planning bio:

http://eisor.myweb.uga.edu/personal/biocss.html

I agree with the suggestion of not buying things that are labeled wedding. Also, comparison shopping is your best friend.

One thing that isn't in my bio, but we got a TON of compliments on was our music. Everyone LOVED it! Plus, it added a subtle personal touch.

We used music from this group:
The String Quartet Tribute CDs by Todd Mark Rubenstein

We found a coupon code online for emusic for free downloads, and downloaded our ceremony music for free. We had some Shania Twain, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Tim McGraw and other well known songs. It was great!!

If you have ANY specific questions at all, feel free to ask me.

[stressedmama]

Some other tips for saving money on a wedding...

Music - Call the local college in your area if you want/need a piano, brass/string/wind quartet, vocalist, etc. You can get good live musicans for less money. They may also know of people who DJ receptions on the side which could save $ verses going through a company.

Photos - Instead of hiring a professional, call local college and see if they could recommend any students. I would suggest seeing their portfolio first. Diddo for videographer.

Decorations - If you are getting married in a church ask church if you can use some of their plants/greenery. Most churches have a lot of flowers and plants that they set out at different times of the year. This can fill a large or small church for free.

Food - Do a breakfast/brunch reception for the cheapest rates.

Venue - If you are getting married in a church most have a banquet hall that could be used at no additional cost for a reception. You could have a sit down meal or just a cake/punch reception to really save money.

My hubby and I got married 8 years ago and spent $5K. Since we paid for it all ourselves with no help, we employed many of the suggestions I gave above to avoid wedding debt. Good luck.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Geez...I got 200 ppl. at $90 a head.

Pocono Wedding Site, Banquet Center, Spa, Pennsylvania Country Inn

[MonkeyMama]

We were frugal for our wedding.

One thing we did was have it on a Sunday. The reception hall and catering was significantly cheaper on Sunday. Also, we planned our wedding in just a few months and all the vendors were available, which was nice (no juggling dates since Saturday is so popular).

We had a lot of friends do photos and music, etc. Professional DJ and Florists were acquaintances who gave us discounts. All this was really key. We didn't pay much at all for the vendors but they were all excellent.

I also just wanted one attendant to make it simpler.

I bought a wedding dress at a discount store for maybe $99. It was great but I think the alterations cost something like $300. Seriously. So I wish that was something I knew ahead of time - I would have picked a very different style dress. One that was simple to alter. That was my big expensive mistake for my wedding.

We probably paid something like $30/head for a buffet and appetizers, but I don't remember. It would have been more expensive on Saturday though. But it was a really nice meal. We got a tip from a friend - we had the reception at a public golf course. It was really nice and all we paid for was the food, which was excellent. It was considerably cheaper than any other option we priced, and was actually pretty elegant. So I do say talk to your friends who have got married or are getting married.

[lehresman]

I just got married in March. We had 3 months to plan the wedding and did it for $4500. We had about 300 people at the wedding, and we did a simple cake/punch reception afterward. We didn't spend much on the cake, we had a friend make it. It looked awesome (picture attached), but only ended up spending about $500 on that reception.

We had a private catered reception for family. About 90 people came to that one. That was where the bulk of our expense went. I think we spent $700 on that one.

My advice? Do as much yourself as you can and go simple. We got the cheapest tuxes we could find (~$90 each), but they looked really sharp. Also, avoid anything that is marketed as "wedding". Companies will jack up the price if they know it's for a wedding because people pay it. It's ridiculous.

All said and done, we had a beautiful wedding and got a LOT of compliments on it. People were very surprised that we only spent $4500 on it.

The other option for us was to show up at our pastor's house at midnight. But I think our parents would have killed us. Seriously though, eloping might be an option. A friend of mine had her parents give them $1000 if they would elope instead of having a big expensive wedding. They used the money to build some savings.

[poundwise]

This is not in response to any posting in this thread, just a general comment on the subject.

I think what many people plan, do, and spend for a wedding ceremony and the surrounding trappings is completely asinine.

I know a couple who, a few years ago, had a wedding that cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000. The father of the bride paid for most of it but the bride and groom fronted about $10,000 themselves and then spent an additional $10,000 on their honeymoon; largely on credit cards.

Three years later, they were in bankruptcy and contemplating divorce.

Besides the fact that $50K-60K could have been better spent and a fine wedding could be had for far less, I find the largest misgiving about weddings to be the reasoning that this is the most important day of your life and so, apparently, should be extravagant.

While I agree that the day of your marriage (not specifically your wedding ceremony, reception, etc.) is huge on the importance scale, far more important than if you had goldfish in bowls or released a hundred doves, etc. is what you start to do with your lives from that day forward. In my view, being foolish and wasteful on the day you begin a new life together is not setting the right precedent for the future.

I'm glad to see so many postings here talking in more sensible terms. I wish more people would put the greater emphasis and effort on their marriage and life together following the honeymoon as they do for the wedding day itself.

[disneysteve]

being foolish and wasteful on the day you begin a new life together is not setting the right precedent for the future.

I agree with all you said, but I also think there is another side to it. Who decides what is "foolish and wasteful"? I'd certainly agree that it is foolish to have an expensive affair if you are charging it all on high-interest credit cards and taking years to pay it off.

But what if the bride's parents are paying for the affair and they have been setting money aside for years in anticipation of a wedding someday. Now they are thrilled to be able to provide that dream wedding for their daughter. Is that foolish? Maybe not. Could the money be used for something more practical? Sure. But does all spending have to be practical? I don't think so.

We will celebrate our 16th anniversary in less than 2 months. We had a very nice wedding. Not crazy like you see on TV today but pretty elaborate for the time. You know what. Our friends still talk about it when we're together. It was a very memorable event for all of us. Who is to say that it was "foolish and wasteful"? We didn't think so. My in-laws who were paying for it didn't think so. My parents who paid for a portion of it didn't think so.

I think if you can afford it and are willing to do it, go for it and enjoy. But if you can't afford it, don't.

[lehresman]

Yeah thats what throws me too Steve... Every caterer I have priced even for small "tid bit" appetizers is going to cost me at least $13.00 a head...

I am seriously thinking of recruiting some Aunt's and such for the "wedding kitchen crew"

You should consider what we did. We had 300 people at our wedding and just had cake/punch afterward. Later that evening we had a catered reception for close friends and family. We were able to cut costs significantly that way. Also, we enjoyed it much more since we were able to have a smaller dinner setting. I was afraid people would be offended who weren't invited to the 2nd reception, but everyone understood and I didn't hear any complaints about how we handled it.

[stressedmama]

I agree with DisneySteve. Money is just a tool. You only live once. So if you are being responsible with your money (saving for retirement, EF, college, pay off debts, etc) and you have the means, enjoy some of your hard earned/saved money and be willing to give too!

[nabejero]

Opt for alternative experiences for you and your guests, like a smaller intimate gathering, rather than a huge blowout.
Peruse forums and listservs like craigslist.com and freecyle.com for amateur pros (musicians, florists, cake specialists, photographers, seamstress, etc) breaking into the field trying to make a name for themselves. College campuses or vocational training schools like beauty schools offer opportunities for connecting with someone who can work with your vision.
Opt for non-white wedding dress.
Learn to do your own makeup using mineral makeup forums or stores like Sephora or Mac or makeup counters to do a trial run--ask the ladies to show you some tricks and tell them you are going outside for half an hour to see how the makeup "sets" before you purchase it.
Use ebay for items needed.
Use friends who have skills like photographers and graphic designers to make invitations with handmade paper ordered online.
Explore interesting sites like yachts or galleries or barns for the ceremony and/or reception.
And never use the word "wedding" when you approach a vendor. Say you are arranging your parents' anniversary or a kid's graduation party to get an initial quote on sites or services.

[BCHGRL]

My husband and I spent $14,000 on our wedding which included Lasik ($4K) for me.

I am not a materialistic person, but I honestly feel sorry for friends that did the courthouse wedding. Not because of any physical thing, but because of the magic I felt being with friends, family and loved ones in an environment (the beach) that I love. I'll never forget it. Nothing in my life has ever been so special. It honestly felt like a fairy tale. The people we love, the time of year we love, the place we love, the songs we loved to dance the night away.

I kept my wedding relatively low cost by making it a casual affair. Formality adds costs. For instance, we borrowed a friend's convertible. Had we had some big fancy church thing, something with more glamour would have been expected.

I didn't always go for the cheapest selection. Our DJ cost about $100 more than other DJs but everyone raved about him. We went to another wedding a month later and the DJ ruined the reception. Our DJ was worth every penny. We had a harpist that was reasonably priced. I can still hear Cannon D on the beach and remember how it brought tears to my eyes. But I cut costs on things that didn't make sense to me. Why did I need to pay for someone to tape our ceremony. You look at pictures, but honestly, does anyone really watch their wedding videos? My uncle taped it using my parent's recorder.

Good luck! It is an exciting time! You don't need to spend a fortune, but make it something you'll remember for years to come!