How to get DH frugal?

[LuxLiving]

Re: How to get DH frugal?

I second PrincessPerky's sermonette! FREE LOVING & LOADS OF IT!!!

Next, this is my personal opinion but, don't bow out of the money issues with your husband if you can - stay in there and keep discussing the topic/problems/successes... it can be an ongoing talk. If you give up you may resign yourself to a lifetime of financial troubles that can be quite difficult to dig your way out of. STAY IN THE GAME!! Try not to let it get ugly, but do keep the topic open.

"Maybe we can talk about this again, after we've both had time to think about it some more." ...can be very useful.

[shelbylovesmelby]

Re: How to get DH frugal?

Ya know I think going back to an allowance would be a great idea. I also used to give dh a bill when we were both working of what his share of the weeks expenses were & whatever was left over was his to spend. Though now that I"m a sahm, he gets an allowance & that's about it. But he does put things on the ck book w/o asking GRRR wich I can deal w/ from time to time though the CREDIT CARD is in hiding cause if there's $ available kiss it goodbye!

[trillium]

Re: How to get DH frugal?

I couldn't get my hubster on the frugal wagon until..
1) Budget on paper
2) Envelopes for all of our spending
3) Visible headway on paying off our debt (ex. 0 balance credit cards) and my willingness to close at least one of the accounts down immediately when I got it that way!

[LuxLiving]

Re: How to get DH frugal?

I think shelbylovesmelby has struck on something there that makes our budgeting efforts work for us - only one of us carries the checkbook these days and that is me the more tightfisted one who's also the bookkeeper. If Hubster is going to a place where he knows he'll need a check he just gets one from me and we have a discussion about what we think reasonable costs will be.

He is not one to use a CC or even a debit card unwisely. He has a CC & debit card w/him at all times so he could use it if he needs to which he does from time to time, but they are things we have budgeted for. He buys all his gas & prescriptions w/the debit card.

Whatever one's weakness is - can you make a way to work around it while still getting the job done? Hubster has no qualms about writing a check or spending cash where he wouldn't think of using a debit card or CC unnecessarily (I know goofy, but our brains work like they work!). We worked it out by removing the checkbook and most cash from his temptation.

Keep finding the leaks and make an effort to reroute around them!

[BCHGRL]

Re: How to get DH frugal?

Well, I'm in an opposite situation. I was once the spendthrift, and I thought he was the tightwad.

What changed me the most is when I set goals and reached them, it felt great. Not only did it feel great to achieve financial goals, it felt great when my hubby praised me. I think it has something to do with that old saying "you'll attract more flies with honey than with vinegar." His nagging never did it for me. But seeing my own progress and being praised by him, that really made a difference in my habits.

[emmiedahl]

Re: How to get DH frugal?

You can't change a spouse, and it's unfair to everyone involved to even try.

If I were you, I would separate the money into three accounts: one for each of you and one combined household account. The household account is for food, rent, bills, and physical necessities. Leftover money gets split between you two and put into your own accounts. Then, you can save away and he can spend without jeopardizing the roof over your heads. Another, less complicated option is to take out what you WOULD spend in cash, then squirrel away the difference. Not too honest, but it might be necessary depending on the climate of your marriage. So, if you are going grocery shopping and you normally would spend $100, take out that $100. When you actually spend $60 because you are such a fabulous shopper, you have the other $40 in your hand.

Eventually, most men come around. They want cars, nice homes, retirement, etc, just as much as you do. I would talk a lot about what you do to save money and how important it is to you that you have security, paid-off credit cards, etc. Eventually he will catch on.