is it a good or bad idea to let my daughter visit her mom in jail?

[3800]

my wife will be going to prison for eight months for being involved in a financial crime at the company she is at. I willing to stay with her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions. And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter she is rightfully serving her punishment which is the right thing for her mistakes. I am wondering what is the best way to prepare for this situation and how to handle it. I have a daughter who is 15 and she seems to be handling it fine. I told her right away about it and she reacted pretty calmly. She later joked about how "now her mother is the one being ordered around". I have no problem with that really as it is probably better to joke a bit instead of being hysterical. I am wondering if she should visit. I went and visited my wife it was one giant room with several tables and several guards around, I saw my wife at one table. She was dressed in her jail clothes. We talked for about 30 minutes then in the end the officers line the inmates up and walked them through one of the sealed doors. I wonder if I should let my daughter visit. Would it be wise to take her when she will see the prison environment, other inmates and even guards could be intimidating. If I do allow her how should I prepare her?

[cicy33]

I think you should let your daughter see her mother. She is not a small child and already knows the truth. I think she would be upset at not seeing her mother for 8 months. She is still her mom. Just because she did something wrong does not necessarily make her a bad person. Granted if she had been convicted of murder, I might have a different comment!

[Tabs]

What a strange but interesting question to be found on here. Yes, you should not worry about your daughter visiting your wife. In fact, I recommend it.

* Family bonds should not necessarily change just because someone is in prison.

* Prison is a secured environment, and when you think about it, there isn't a safer place to talk to someone.

* Prison is a reality. Even the level of intimidation that inmates and officers may exude is a consequence of that reality. Perhaps it is good for your daughter to see all that so she can see and experience what that reality is like, and to dissuade any potential future illegal activities she may have in mind.

* Your wife most likely misses your daughter. In fact, given the environment, your wife is probably experiencing culture shock of sorts, and any contact with someone comforting and familiar would help her greatly.

As for preparation, there is nothing special she has to do. If she tends to dress on the risqué side, I recommend that she dress conservatively for the occasion. No body parts can be showing, including the shoulders.

When communicating, it is best to be left cordial. No cursing or yelling may be tolerated, or your visit could get cut off.

Chances are, they have metal detectors there as well, and the quickest way to get through it is to have her leave all of her belongings except her ID behind. You can bring more if you really want, but the less the better. Ideally, wear nothing metallic as well, like large jewelry and especially belts.

Finally, please be patient. The operations in these facilities can sometimes go awry, and for whatever reason, your visit could be delayed.

edit: I just realized that this is from like a month ago. Oh well, I'm just going to leave it anyways.

[GrimJack]

I am with the other posters; family connections are the most important indicator of a successful rehabilitation. Unless your daughter has never watched TV, I am pretty sure she knows what to expect; just explain that the reality will be much different. The first visit will be tough.

[Randomsaver]

Let her see her mom.. I'm sure the mom will be very happy.

But it is important you brief her and manage her expectation as well as possible things the mom might say that could be lies to cover herself up. ( It's just human to be embarrassed, nothing against her.)

[spider]

yes

as long as the daughter knows what her mom did to get in there and use it as a teaching tool.