24 year old home living son debt issues

[Geoff15]

I have had my suspicions that my 24 year old son has been getting into debt. I took the decision rightly or wrongly to look at a bank statement in his bedroom.
In the last month he has taken two loans, one of £1000 and one of £600. On top of this I can see several small payday loans. He clearly took first loan to pay off overdraft but having done that twice his overdraft is still there. The advice I am wanting is what to do. Do I tell him I have looked at his bank statement and am worried about his debt? Do I ignore the issue and let him make his own mistakes? He earns about £230.00 a week. I have in the last three months paid off his overdraft with £1000 but cant afford to do this again.

Advice please.

[disneysteve]

Do I ignore the issue and let him make his own mistakes?

I have in the last three months paid off his overdraft with £1000

Welcome.

The fact that you have already had to pay off something for him means it is no longer just his problem. It has become your problem too.

I would make a time to sit down with him and share your concerns. I wouldn't necessarily lead with the fact that you peeked at his bank statement. It would be better if you could get him to volunteer that information on his own in response to your concerns and questions about how he is managing. Ask if he has any debt and see what he says. Hopefully, he'll be honest about it, though if he is embarrassed or ashamed of it, he may not.

He makes £920/month and in the last month alone has borrowed £1,600 plus payday loans. That's a pretty serious problem. He's spending nearly 3 times what he's earning. That can't last long and will get really ugly really fast.

[disneysteve]

Also, I would absolutely not bail him out again. Or at the very least not unless you have a complete picture of his situation and the two of you have agreed on a plan of attack. You need to be confident that you’d be helping and not just enabling.

[sandrark]

I would also make sure that your credit cards and cash and checkbooks are secure.

The only reasons I can think of that someone would need that much money that fast are not good: drugs, gambling, addiction of some sort....you need to make sure your finances are not in jeopardy.

[disneysteve]

The only reasons I can think of that someone would need that much money that fast are not good: drugs, gambling, addiction of some sort....you need to make sure your finances are not in jeopardy.

I thought of that, but at the same time, he's hardly earning any money. That's about $300/week or $15,600/year. Even living at home, that doesn't go very far if he has a car and other typical expenses.

OP, is he actively looking for better work? I'm guessing he's only part time now with that income. Can he pick up a 2nd job? He needs to up his game and start earning a real income at 24 years old.

[Geoff15]

Thank you

Thanks for this advice which I intend taking. He is soon to be getting a promotion which will give more income.

[Keshet]

Thanks for this advice which I intend taking. He is soon to be getting a promotion which will give more income.

That's great, but if he is doing payday loans and overdrafts he already has bad habits. Hopefully if his income does increase he won't go wild and spend even more.

[disneysteve]

He is soon to be getting a promotion which will give more income.

That's nice, but I can't imagine his promotion is going to triple his income. He is borrowing tremendously more than he is earning. No matter how much or how little he earns, he needs to be living within his means and have a solid plan to repay the debt he has already accumulated. The payday loans will wipe him out if he doesn't get them cleaned up quickly.

[Nutria]

What's he spending his money on?

Normally it wouldn't be any of your business, but when you need to bail him out for overdrafts, it becomes yours.