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Is this wise?? I mean, I think we'll get married but there's no ring. But she has a lot of debt and I have enough money to pay them off... I wouldn't say our relationship is perfect but we have been together for 3 years. Advice is appreciated.
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Not until you're seriously married. -
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Does she want you to? It's a huge character red flag IMO.Originally posted by ExcuseMyIgnorance View PostComment
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I'm in a similar situation, where I am debt free and my GF still has students loans. I thought of helping her payoff her loans. I decided to wait until we get married, because if anything did happen between us I would have saved more money instead of her walking away with less debt.
I do agree with the previous post, if she is asking you to help with the student loans or wants you to it is a red flag for her character.Comment
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Ditto.Originally posted by ReallyBoredMan View Post
I was debt free (except my mortgage), my wife had about $13k in student loans left (and a mortgage). I had the cash to easily pay off her SL's in a heartbeat, but neither of us were comfortable with me doing that before we were married. Even then, we only used about $3k at the end to kill them off, and the rest we cash-flowed by throwing everything we could at it, because my wife didn't want me using alot of my own savings for her personal debts.Last edited by kork13; 07-10-2015, 07:43 PM.Comment
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I worked with a kid who was absolutely in love with this girl, he told us he was considering helping her pay for college. We told him not to. He found out she was cheating on him and broke up. I would say unless its a dire situation and she needs the help, don't do anything like that till you are married, get her a nice engagement ring instead. They like sparkly things anyways.Comment
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if you pay off her debts will you still have something left for yourself?
If you are unsure, maybe take a middle road approach pay off some of her debts, that way her month to month cash flows get better, and you aren't committing to the full repayment. You can always pay off more for her later or contribute a bit toward ongoing monthly payments...
no need to pay it all down in one shot, I'm sure she will appreciate any level of help you decide to contribute.Comment
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no ring, no debt paying, IMHOComment
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Do you at least have a ring on her finger and a wedding date set?
I wouldn't pay off her debts until they become both your debts.BrianComment
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As the others have said unless you are married that is her debt. Now if you want to do things like pay for when you guys go out or pick up a larger portion of other utilities, shared bills you can do that to lighten her load a little so she can use more of her income to pay back her other debts sooner. In no way should you feel obligated to do this but if you really love her and feel that she is committed to cleaning her mess up its an option to explore. I just wouldn't get in the habit of paying her bills directly. She made a mess and she needs to feel some pain in cleaning it up or she won't learn and will repeat the same destructive spending habits.Comment
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To me that's a character issue really. I think that by paying it off you are just encouraging more down the line.Originally posted by ExcuseMyIgnorance View Post
I wouldn't, personally. If she want to "lean on me" than that's fine, that's a marriage, I will give her full support. But I won't outright pay for her debts.Comment
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I wouldn't.Comment
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No no no
It's never ever a good idea to do that unless you are married. Then you work on the debt together.
Imagine if you paid her loan off then you broke up.Comment
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