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    #16
    Originally posted by scfr View Post
    Would renting for a longer time (for example, maybe 1-1/2 or 2 years) in the new town make sense? Not only would that give you more time to save for a DP on a house, it would give you more time to get to really get to know the area and maybe be less disruptive for your son? Just an idea ...

    Was thinking of this, actually. The only downside of renting for even longer is that I would like H to retire as soon as he turns 62 and enjoy at least a little time being able to do things for himself and with us as a family rather than work until 67/70 when age really starts to catch up on you, depending on family history and genes. Also, does it not get harder to get a mortgage as you age? If we put this off until 2025, we'd BOTH be in our 50s and that worries me that we wouldn't be able to pay it off by the time he turns 62 in a few short years from then.


    Originally posted by rennigade View Post
    Also, just because rent went up 10% doesn't mean his raise isn't keeping up with inflation.

    For example, if your husband makes $100k and he gets a 3% raise, that's a $3000 increase. If rent goes up 10% and it will now cost $1200 more a year, you're still ahead.

    Either way, almost everyone has less money due to inflation across the board.
    No... the rent increase actually cost more than his raise so we're screwed there. And it's small consolation that everyone is feeling the effects because it doesn't make our situation any better to take comfort in the fact that everyone is feeling the pinch.
    Last edited by Scallywag; 01-14-2022, 01:53 PM.

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      #17
      Is the area you are planning to move to fairly compact, or is it sprawling? If it's compact it may not matter as much if you don't pick the exact right area. But if it's sprawling, it might.

      Our last 2 moves (to sprawling areas we weren't familiar with), the areas we ended up buying were very different from where we rented. It wasn't until we really got settled in to the area that we were able to figure out which part we liked and wanted to put down roots.

      It sounds like you're facing a tough situation. Sorry to hear it and I wish you luck.

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        #18
        Originally posted by scfr View Post
        Is the area you are planning to move to fairly compact, or is it sprawling? If it's compact it may not matter as much if you don't pick the exact right area. But if it's sprawling, it might.

        Our last 2 moves (to sprawling areas we weren't familiar with), the areas we ended up buying were very different from where we rented. It wasn't until we really got settled in to the area that we were able to figure out which part we liked and wanted to put down roots.

        It sounds like you're facing a tough situation. Sorry to hear it and I wish you luck.
        Thank you. It is hard because it is a decision we're unprepared to make - yet.

        The place were specifically looking at could be considered "sprawling". There's a downtown area which includes the "historical" town, and then there's the "newer" part of town which is our target area. Homes are also apparently rarer to come by in the old town but when they do, they have bigger / larger lots and while I like that, I'm not sure we could deal with more maintenance (both of the huge lot and the old home on it).

        We spent considerable time in the historic district but almost certain we wouldn't want to live there. But as you state, we won't know for sure until we actually move there and live there for a while before buying. I don't know how some folks buy property "site unseen". It just boggles my mind - we have personally known two families that did this and are happy. I just wish we were that brave, too!

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          #19
          Originally posted by Scallywag View Post

          Thank you. It is hard because it is a decision we're unprepared to make - yet.

          The place were specifically looking at could be considered "sprawling". There's a downtown area which includes the "historical" town, and then there's the "newer" part of town which is our target area. Homes are also apparently rarer to come by in the old town but when they do, they have bigger / larger lots and while I like that, I'm not sure we could deal with more maintenance (both of the huge lot and the old home on it).

          We spent considerable time in the historic district but almost certain we wouldn't want to live there. But as you state, we won't know for sure until we actually move there and live there for a while before buying. I don't know how some folks buy property "site unseen". It just boggles my mind - we have personally known two families that did this and are happy. I just wish we were that brave, too!
          I think maybe if you are from a nearby area or you prefer to live by friends or family already in the area, it might be easier to figure out where you want to live. Or even if you have a job and visit a lot. But flying truly blind is hard. There are so many things you can't see in a weekend trip or just from the computer. You can't see traffic patters or noise. You can't see how the house really sits in a neighborhood. I think it's really hard to buy without being there in person.

          Also I think that sometimes people who buy on a weekend trip often regret it because I think you get pressured into settling for a house you don't really love just for the sake of finding something.
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            #20
            Originally posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post

            I think maybe if you are from a nearby area or you prefer to live by friends or family already in the area, it might be easier to figure out where you want to live. Or even if you have a job and visit a lot. But flying truly blind is hard. There are so many things you can't see in a weekend trip or just from the computer. You can't see traffic patters or noise. You can't see how the house really sits in a neighborhood. I think it's really hard to buy without being there in person.

            Also I think that sometimes people who buy on a weekend trip often regret it because I think you get pressured into settling for a house you don't really love just for the sake of finding something.
            No friends or family in the area, only a couple of autism parents I've met through FB groups! In fact, I had never even heard of this place until I began researching where we wanted to move and this location would have been impossible to move to, pre-pandemic. Post 2020, of course, employers are much more flexible. The only thing is that DD won't transfer to University until next year. She's currently in a good community college program, has a job (although it's very seasonal), and does not want multiple transcripts from multiple colleges.

            This location is not exactly rural but it well could be. If rents weren't such a beast, we'd stay put, wait for DD to graduate from University and then make a move. It doesn't make sense to want to follow your adult child around but given our situation with our son, we may want to settle down close to her for emotional support, and, as we age, some assistance with her brother. It's all up in the air and overwhelming, really.

            I like parts of the town but we won't know if it will work out until we actually start living there. It sucks but it is what it is.
            Last edited by Scallywag; 01-24-2022, 11:19 AM.

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              #21
              Originally posted by Scallywag View Post

              No friends or family in the area, only a couple of autism parents I've met through FB groups! In fact, I had never even heard of this place until I began researching where we wanted to move and this location would have been impossible to move to, pre-pandemic. Post 2020, of course, employers are much more flexible. The only thing is that DD won't transfer to University until next year. She's currently in a good community college program, has a job (although it's very seasonal), and does not want multiple transcripts from multiple colleges.

              This location is not exactly rural but it well could be. If rents weren't such a beast, we'd stay put, wait for DD to graduate from University and then make a move. It doesn't make sense to want to follow your adult child around but given our situation with our son, we may want to settle down close to her for emotional support, and, as we age, some assistance with her brother. It's all up in the air and overwhelming, really.

              I like parts of the town but we won't know if it will work out until we actually start living there. It sucks but it is what it is.
              I think you need to figure yourself out. I understand fully that you want support of your daughter, but you never know who they will end up with or what will happen. I think you just need to plan for the here and the now. You have to plan for your retirement and your son that's the only guarantee in life. I know it sounds harsh but I have now seen too many people no longer speaking to their children for whatever the reason. So it's a bit of a stretch to worry about where your daughter will settle.

              Also your daughter can figure out a way to live if you move. You could perhaps save the money and give her extra cash to make up for living solo. Just a thought. And does the college have remote options? Could she move with you and just have it all remote?

              Also how much did the rent go up? $200/month?
              LivingAlmostLarge Blog

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