Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Inheritances - did you get one or will you get one?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • disneysteve
    replied
    Originally posted by Scallywag View Post

    I don't think an inheritance or lack thereof (my case and my parents' / inlaws' case) impacts one's financial well-being at all.

    So, nope, inheritances don't really matter if you're motivated to be self-made.
    I assume you're referring specifically to your own situation, not speaking in general terms.

    My wife and I are doing just fine on our own, but the inheritances we will likely receive will still have a significant effect.

    We currently have about $1.5 million. When my cousin dies, I will inherit somewhere in the neighborhood of $1 million. It would be foolish to think that won't impact our financial well-being.

    Leave a comment:


  • Scallywag
    replied
    Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

    I think the amount that is significant will vary based on circumstances. If you earn 30K and inherit 100K, that's a much bigger deal than if you earn 300K and inherit 100K.
    I don't think an inheritance or lack thereof (my case and my parents' / inlaws' case) impacts one's financial well-being at all. This is why I am NOT going to contest my parents' will after their time. One is a question of self-respect. IF they had wanted me to have more than the token dollar they're supposedly leaving me (per my sibling), then they'd have given it to me with open minds and large, willing hearts. They didn't, so no point in trying to get it out of their estate once they're gone.

    The second thing is how poor they all were when they were young and how NONE of them got an inheritance. In fact, of all of their numerous siblings, only my parents got out of poverty. The others were / are poor, although many of my cousins now lead decent middle-class lives as I am. The poverty they experienced as young kids actually spurred my parents to work their way out of it. They were up against great odds (neither went to college until much later in life). Both were working in their teens and they had NOTHING but a fierce ambition to "stop being poor".

    Ironically but fittingly enough, I actually view my disinheritance as the reason I began to get so riled up about my finances. Until 2011, when I got cut off, I didn't really bother about "retirement" etc as I was guaranteed of a large inheritance (back then). When I did get cut off, after I'd made my peace with it, I got to work on our finances. The bull market helped as did Dave Ramsey and motivational books. So, IMO, NOT getting an inheritance was a positive change for me, as it was for my parents and my in-laws (my MIL dropped out at age 14 to take care of her younger siblings, FIL's mother died when he was 16 and he HAD to work to supplement his father's income because he also had several younger siblings he had to help his father provide for).

    So, nope, inheritances don't really matter if you're motivated to be self-made. Too bad my folks didn't cut me off earlier ... I could have taken advantage of the tech boom of the 90s ... regrets regrets regrets!

    Leave a comment:


  • disneysteve
    replied
    Originally posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post
    Since I started this thread, I should ask how much of an inheritance do you think actually impacts people's lives? Does it have to be $100k? Or is it non-tangible like a paid for home?
    I think the amount that is significant will vary based on circumstances. If you earn 30K and inherit 100K, that's a much bigger deal than if you earn 300K and inherit 100K.

    Leave a comment:


  • LivingAlmostLarge
    replied
    Since I started this thread, I should ask how much of an inheritance do you think actually impacts people's lives? Does it have to be $100k? Or is it non-tangible like a paid for home?

    Leave a comment:


  • Scallywag
    replied
    My parents are extremely well off, having amassed a considerable real estate portfolio over 5 decades. However, I won't get a dime as I'm estranged from them (long story i will spare you the details of). One of my siblings - the "executor" - pretty much told me what was in their will and I was happy to know rhat they were giving me a token dollar (in case I ever contested their will, I suppose).

    As for my in-laws, they will leave their VERY modest possessions equally split between all their kids. My H may get around 75K. We're grateful that they're "fairer" than my folks are.

    My grandparents & his grandparents were all dirt poor, so no inheritance from any of them. My parents did an amazing job clawing their way out of poverty and my in-laws did modestly OK. They were all born very poor but will leave it as very wealthy (my parents) and middle class (his), respectively.

    We are middle class as well, but hoping to leave the Planet as people of means. We'll see.

    Leave a comment:


  • disneysteve
    replied
    Originally posted by GoodLiving View Post

    I recall a financial planner once told me that most people who receive inheritances spend through them within 8 years.
    That's true of most windfalls, because most people are really, really bad at managing money. Many lottery winners go broke, too.

    Leave a comment:


  • GoodLiving
    replied
    Originally posted by Drake3287 View Post
    My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home ....... plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

    For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. .
    Sorry for your loss, Drake.

    I was executor for my father's estate, while he didn't own a home (he was living with his partner in her home) when he passed, he was in the middle of building a cabin on property that was under contract for deed. Dealing with an estate is so overwhelming and exhausting in the middle of grief. I actually couldn't manage to track the time so I didn't ask for any compensation for it. In the end I resolved that I did it to honor my Dad. *Mostly* my siblings and I figured out how to divide our Dad's things where we all felt we received some of what we wanted. I'm so grateful that we could do it mostly without bad feelings.

    I recall a financial planner once told me that most people who receive inheritances spend through them within 8 years. As my Dad's death was sudden and a tragic accident, most of the money felt really bad to me so I invested most of it because it felt so bad.

    Leave a comment:


  • breathemusic
    replied
    I only have 1 living grandparent and 1 living parent. I didn't receive an inheritance from any passed grandparent and my father was mentally ill,broke, and survived only as long as he did due to the financial graces of my brother and government assistance, so the only thing I received was half of his last social security check. I don't expect to get an inheritance from my grandparent as he'll likely split everything between my mom and uncle rather than making the split multi-generational, but I that makes sense to me, and frankly, I make good money and don't need the financial help. My mother is still working, but her job is physical and she definitely is looking to slow down in the years to come. She also doesn't make a ton (though I guess it goes a lot further now that she isn't raising and feeding 2 kids). She saves as much as she can, but she started saving for retirement much later due to raising us kids as a single parent getting not child support. I expect she's likely to get a rather large inheritance from her dad, as he worked hard, invested smartly, and has always been fiscally thrifty and all about saving. I'm thankful that my mom will end up getting that sort of buffer to help her be able to retire comfortably and not have to worry about penny pinching, running out of money, or having to ask her kids for money just to survive considering how hard she busted her butt raising my brother and I.

    Given that my mom is pretty healthy and I'm young (34), I don't expect to get any sort of inheritance for a LONG time. And if my mom has managed the money from her own inheritance wisely (which I know she will), then sure, some day I'll likely get something from my mom's estate and that will be split with my brother. But my brother retired under the FIRE movement several years ago at 31 or 32, and his wife retired about 2 years later. Neither of us will ever need an inheritance. By the time I get one, i surely hope that my mother has lived to a healthy old age to the point where I'm already retired (18 years to go until I have 30 years into federal service, haha). My brother is likely to also end up as executor of things because he already sits down with my mom annually to help her with her annual financial planning, so even though either of us is capable, he's more familiar with my mom's finances and is the oldest, so I wouldn't be surprised if that task goes to him.... though knowing him, he'd discuss everything with me and we'd probably work as a team since we are similar in our outlooks on finance and already bounce financial ideas off of each other when we're working through major things like home purchases, etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • Drake3287
    replied
    Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

    And good for you for actually accepting the executor fee. I often hear of people not wanting to take it because they're afraid they're siblings will get upset by them getting more money, but it's a big job that takes a lot of time and effort. You deserve to be compensated for it.
    At first I wasn't sure if I'd except an executer fee but after having gone through the process it was clear to me that I had earned it. I also wondered how my siblings would react to it but I think they realize how much work I did compared to them. To make matters worse I was also named in my parents trust to set up and manage a Special Needs Trust for my 60 year old brother who has a long history of drug and homeless issues. This also allows for a fee for me but I'll wait and see how much time and energy it actually takes before excepting anything.

    Leave a comment:


  • LivingAlmostLarge
    replied
    Originally posted by Drake3287 View Post
    My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home (during the first months of this pandemic) and divided up the proceeds among my siblings as was stipulated in her trust. We each received $150,000 plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

    For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. On the other hand this money has been life changing for some of my siblings who never had much money to begin with.
    Will the $150k be enough for your siblings to retire? Or is it just making them more comfortable? Can I ask how is it life changing?

    Leave a comment:


  • disneysteve
    replied
    Originally posted by Drake3287 View Post
    My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home (during the first months of this pandemic) and divided up the proceeds among my siblings as was stipulated in her trust. We each received $150,000 plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

    For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. On the other hand this money has been life changing for some of my siblings who never had much money to begin with.
    Sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope the siblings who saw this as a windfall manage to handle it responsibly and use it to better their situations.

    And good for you for actually accepting the executor fee. I often hear of people not wanting to take it because they're afraid they're siblings will get upset by them getting more money, but it's a big job that takes a lot of time and effort. You deserve to be compensated for it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Drake3287
    replied
    My elderly mother passed away earlier this year and as executer of her estate I sold the family home (during the first months of this pandemic) and divided up the proceeds among my siblings as was stipulated in her trust. We each received $150,000 plus I received an additional $10,000 as an executer fee. Something I'm still earning to this date!

    For me, this money is simply still sitting in the bank with no plans as of yet plus I'm financially comfortable anyway. On the other hand this money has been life changing for some of my siblings who never had much money to begin with.

    Leave a comment:


  • LivingAlmostLarge
    replied
    Originally posted by bjl584 View Post
    I received some money from my grandmother when I was in high school.
    It was used to pay for undergrad college.

    I am an only child, so I will be receiving something from both of my parents.
    I don't know exactly how much.

    My dad has maybe a little over $100K
    My mom on the other hand has millions.
    I don't know the number, or how much I will inherit
    How did you grow up poor if your mom has millions?

    Interesting question is how much do people typically inherit?

    Leave a comment:


  • GoodLiving
    replied
    I have a very small family. My mother was an only child and while her parents might have had more money then my Dad's. It flowed differently. We did not receive any inheritance from any grandparent when they died, it went to their child/ren (nothing directly to us grandchildren as individuals upon death) My mother's Dad died when I was quite young and my maternal grandmother showed her love through money. My two siblings and I completed our bachelors without debt, received down payment assistance with our first homes and had extras like bikes and study abroad trips in high school. At the end of my maternal grandmother's life, she was just about out of money and my (divorced) mother had received some support as she was out of work for a few years. While my parents income was small, we had everything we needed and more. On my Dad's side of the family, any money after my paternal grandfather went to support my grandmother in her home with healthcare providers for years. After her death any assets went to the children(he had a brother and sister) so the grandchildren didn't see anything individually. My mother is 79 and very frugal with the money she has and I assume and hope she will use her assets for her remaining years. It's hard though because she learned to show her love through money and despite her fixed income, she gives financial gifts and is terribly independent. I've left some checks uncashed and refuse reimbursement when she offers for purchases I make for her. When my Dad was killed, his resources were split between my siblings and I and there was also a lawsuit settlement. I think we all received about $150k each. My siblings have no children and I have one. I don't expect my sibs to leave everything to my child but I know one of them plans to. We are all self sufficient and while none of us are wealthy, I expect we will all be financial fine, we some how learned good money skills. I have attempted to provide my child with a bachelors education with no debt but it didn't work out, I am matching student loan payments and there's less than $7000 to go. My child hasn't found the roots yet to purchase a home and so I don't know if I would be able to help with a down payment. My child only has me as a parent, the other parent is deceased was indigent.

    Leave a comment:


  • disneysteve
    replied
    Originally posted by Petunia 100 View Post
    I hope that my mom spends every last penny she has, enjoying herself immensely in the process. Her money is for her.
    That's a nice thought in theory, but of course it's not how it goes in reality. My mom is 90. She lives alone in a 1-bedroom apartment. Even before COVID, she really didn't go out all that much and now doesn't go out at all. I don't know what she would possibly spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars doing even if she wanted to spend it all. And you can't spend it all anyway because what happens then? What do you live on? I'd hate for her to exhaust her savings and be stuck scraping by on SS alone. So I actually hope that she still has a good amount of money left when she dies so that she never has to worry about her income for the rest of her life.
    Last edited by disneysteve; 10-21-2020, 10:04 AM.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X