Have you ever gotten mad at someone for thinking you're poor?

**disneysteve** · 08-20-2015, 06:19 AM

Originally posted by ExcuseMyIgnorance View Post

Why don't people judge wealth based on what people earn and not by how many toys they own??

People see your toys. They don't see your brokerage statements. They have no way to know what you earn or how large your investment portfolio is but they have lots of ways to see how you spend your money and how much of it you spend.

**bjl584** · 08-20-2015, 06:29 AM

Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

People see your toys. They don't see your brokerage statements. They have no way to know what you earn or how large your investment portfolio is but they have lots of ways to see how you spend your money and how much of it you spend.

This is one of the main premises of the "Millionaire Next Door." The book makes the point over and over that millionaires often live below the radar. Drive a modest car, live in a modest house. Their neighbors often have no clue that they are wealthy.

**Fishindude77** · 08-20-2015, 07:14 AM

I'd be mad if I had to drive a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution.

What an ugly little toy car.

**disneysteve** · 08-20-2015, 07:24 AM

Originally posted by bjl584 View Post

This is one of the main premises of the "Millionaire Next Door." The book makes the point over and over that millionaires often live below the radar. Drive a modest car, live in a modest house. Their neighbors often have no clue that they are wealthy.

Definitely.

I once had a patient ask why I was driving such an old car. He thought doctors all drove fancy luxury cars and I must not be doing well if I was driving a 10-year-old Camry.

Of course, my partner, who is not nearly as well off as I am, leases a shiny new BMW every 2 years.

I'll stick to living under the radar.

**autoxer** · 08-20-2015, 07:31 AM

Originally posted by ExcuseMyIgnorance View Post

I also don't like to be thought of as poor. He probably thinks that because I have no expensive assets.

There's nothing wrong with being thought of as poor. Many wealthy people actually prefer hidden assets. The people that display their wealth are usually just showboating, but the visible expensive assets are usually the depreciating ones, not good assets.

Give your brother a copy of the book that bjl584 mentioned.

As far as the rally car, I prefer the subaru.

**Fishindude77** · 08-20-2015, 07:46 AM

Many wealthy people actually prefer hidden assets. The people that display their wealth are usually just showboating, but the visible expensive assets are usually the depreciating ones, not good assets.

Was watching that airplane repo show last evening and they were repossessing a plane, a boat and a fancy car from the same guy. They referred to him as "Flash & Dash" sort of a guy. He likes to flash his fancy toys, but dashed and hid from the bank and debt collectors. Thought that was a pretty good description.

**disneysteve** · 08-20-2015, 08:26 AM

Originally posted by autoxer View Post

The people that display their wealth are usually just showboating, but the visible expensive assets are usually the depreciating ones, not good assets.

There have been so many stories over the years of celebrities, sports figures, etc. who earn millions and end up broke.

There are also periodic stories of people who earned very modest incomes and, upon their death, left 7 figures to charity and nobody ever had a clue that they were that wealthy.

I learned long ago not to judge someone's financial situation based on outward appearances. In fact, I actually tend to assume that most people are living beyond their means (even when it occasionally turns out that they aren't).

**ua_guy** · 08-20-2015, 09:24 AM

I think I prefer not to be judged either way. I know vehicles are a poor indicator of actual wealth so I try not to judge, or be judged based on what me or anyone else drives.

To the OP, it sounds like a bit of sibling rivalry. I've been ribbed by my sister a few times in the same way and it means nothing other than what people choose to spend their money on.

I can't comment on an Evo, not my personal taste, but I do understand people just like certain cars. Case in point, I'd like to own an '85-'90 Chevrolet Camaro Iroc-Z. Not exactly a high-brow vehicle. Commence jokes about mullets, hair bands, cheap beer. I want one for no other reason that these are the kinds of muscle cars I grew up with and excited me when I was of driving age. They're built with brittle plastic and glue, and time has proven they were the essence of a poor man's sports car.

Nice, preserved examples with low miles (50k or less) are hard to find, and people ask upwards of $10k, sometimes $20k or higher depending on options and how well preserved they are. Nobody would fathom paying more than the then-MSRP of those vehicles now. For the average person that knows nothing about cars, estimates of my net worth would probably increase sharply if I went out and bought a $5k heavily used Mercedes C-Class instead. It's all perception.

As the saying goes, if I really wanted one of those Camaros, I could have one. Nobody would be the wiser on my wealth or income, yet the car would come at a significant cost for being a second, "weekend-only" type vehicle.

**JulieAlbright** · 08-20-2015, 10:49 AM

That's a lesson I learned really early in my career. I was working for a non-profit and there was this old guy who was just always around. He loved to chat with anybody and everybody and he knew everybody's name and would always stop by our desks wanting to talk. He was always dressed in flannel and a John Deere hat and he'd talk about how he had to stop by WalMart on his way home. One of the first things I remember about him is that on Valentine's day he came by and gave us all carnations because we were "His girls."

He turned out to be an extremely = and I do mean extremely = wealthy donor. It was months before I found that out because people would just say things like "Oh, this is Bob. You know Mary who works back in the Youth Counseling Center? He's her Dad." All true but he was also the Board President, the largest donor, and on a first name basis with both of the President Bush guys.

I hope I was never rude to him.

I got kind of disgruntled a couple of weeks ago when I stopped by the office of our brokerage. I hardly ever go in there because I do almost everything online. It's not like I was dressed as a homeless lady but I was in jeans and tennis shoes and I probably looked kind of sloppy because I'd been helping somebody pack boxes to move. The guy at the front desk was really not polite - he looked young and I expect he was an intern and I did interrupt whatever internet surfing he was doing on his computer.

But he was just kind of like "Yeah, here's a pamphlet, go away" right up until he asked for my ID and then pulled up our accounts on his computer. Then I was taken back to a conference room and offered a cold beverage and assured an advisor would be in to talk with me really quick.

**AngelineRose** · 08-20-2015, 11:11 AM

Things are never what they seem. I know wealthy here who pay for their nice homes/cars with cash while others are up to their eyeballs with debts with the same visible assets.

Some material things people have are 'gifts' or 'prizes' from others so we can't assume it was the result of spending every time we see someone with expensive things. So I learned not to judge by what others have.

**Permanent Temp** · 08-20-2015, 01:06 PM

Who cares? Be more secure in who you are or rib your brother back with something else.

In my extended family I felt like people treated us like less because they knew we didn't have as much money as them. We just tried to handle it with as much grace and dignity as possible. Now that we are older and somewhat successful they don't treat us like that any more and in some cases they think I'm rich because my car is less than 10 years old and I am able to go on at least one trip out of state a year. I find a way to afford the trip every year by saving up money or taking advantage of a credit card sign up bonus/rewards points. And the car well I paid off the last one and now I have a paid off lease on a new one while I save up for whatever car I can afford without a payment next.

At the end of the day you just have to be secure in who you are. Keep on keeping on and try not to let others rub you the wrong way. It's not worth your time or energy to get wrapped up about what others may or may not think of you.

**GREENBACK** · 08-20-2015, 02:10 PM

One great advantage of looking like you are worth far less than you are is that people, including relatives, tend to not ask to borrow money or other things of value because they assume you don't have it or can't afford it. This factor alone makes looking less than wealthy worth it to me.

**LivingAlmostLarge** · 08-20-2015, 02:13 PM

Heck no. Then I'm doing something right if people think we're poor. And most of our friends do. We live so modestly to most that we seem ridiculous.

**MonkeyMama** · 08-20-2015, 04:48 PM

I don't know that I have ever been judged poor (as an adult anyway) from a real socioeconomic status point of view. (If anything, I think people perceive that we come from money than we did).

Beyond that, we mostly fly under the radar, in a Millionaire Next Door way. The feedback is kind of confusing because I feel people feel we must be really well off for my spouse not to have to work. BUT, they have so much trouble wrapping their brain around it because the bulk of the time I feel like people project that we are way worse off than we are. Maybe they were once jealous, but they've since seen our old cars. I don't know... But anyway, I will take it. People don't ask us for money or pressure us to go out a lot and so I find it easier to just fly under the radar. It's nice not to have a lot of expectations put on us.

Have you ever gotten mad at someone for thinking you're poor?