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Betrayed and Seeking Advice

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  • Petunia 100
    replied
    Originally posted by rooskers View Post
    Thank you for the idea james I will definitely check it out. LivingAlmostLarge yes it is crazy that I came back. Since I have gone through the divorce my entire financial dreams/goals/beliefs have changed. I came back here hoping to start anew in my financial future.
    Have you considered starting a blog? I think it would be interesting to read in more detail the changes in your life. Best of luck to you for a happier future.

    Leave a comment:


  • bjl584
    replied
    Thank you for the update.
    I'm sorry about your marriage, but it looks like you are doing well and recovering.
    Best of luck to you and your daughter going forward.

    Leave a comment:


  • rooskers
    replied
    Thank you for the idea james I will definitely check it out. LivingAlmostLarge yes it is crazy that I came back. Since I have gone through the divorce my entire financial dreams/goals/beliefs have changed. I came back here hoping to start anew in my financial future.

    Leave a comment:


  • james.hendrickson
    replied
    You might consider checking out John Gottman's research.

    Leave a comment:


  • LivingAlmostLarge
    replied
    What this is an amazing update 10 years after you started the thread. CRAZY. I can't believe you came back. Congratulations on getting out of a loveless marriage and good luck. I sort appreciate the update.

    Leave a comment:


  • rooskers
    replied
    Update

    Well at least this time I am not completely destitute. Wife informed me on May 23, 2019 she no longer loves me, does not respect me, does not want to be married, broke up with me a long time ago, and is tired of faking it. This time I didn't argue, beg, or plead but just said "I want a divorce then." My exwife without my knowledge pulled our daughter from her classroom the next day and told her downstairs at the school office, "I no longer love your dad and want him to raise you but I will see you sometimes." Both my daughter and I found out she decided to have an affair with my daughter's bf's dad. At least this time I was prepared financially and mentally. The first thing I did was get a lawyer and find out what all my options were. I got half of everything in retirement and the house as well. The most important thing in the world however was the fact I have my daughter. In a couple months everything that was built up for over 22 years was cut in half but I will survive and rebuild.

    New finances

    $15,000 Savings
    $300,000 Retirement
    $240,000 equity in primary house (paid off)
    $70,000 my share in equity in real estate investment ($115,000 left on loan)
    Zero other debt

    Leave a comment:


  • bjl584
    replied
    Wow. Great job on completely turning your life around.

    Thanks for coming back after 9 years to update us all.

    Would you mind sharing your story with us all?

    Leave a comment:


  • LivingAlmostLarge
    replied
    Originally posted by rooskers View Post
    This is a very old thread but I just wanted to say thanks for those who prayed for me or even wished me luck. It took a lot of work on both sides but my marriage stayed intact. My daughter was/is the most important part of this entire process and she is an amazing girl who is now going into 7th grade. I am no longer financially dependent on my wife and will never put myself in that position again. I am now 40 and am doing better than I ever thought possible.

    $32,000 savings
    $625,000 retirement
    $150,000 equity in real estate investment ($120,000 left on loan)
    $150,000 equity in primary house ($108,000 left will be payed in 4 years)
    No other debt.
    what happened? How did it all work out? What do you do for work?

    Leave a comment:


  • disneysteve
    replied
    Originally posted by rooskers View Post
    my wife doesn't love me, respect me, consider the job I did at home valuable and that she has been having an affair with her married "dream guy" for about a year.
    Originally posted by rooskers View Post
    This is a very old thread but I just wanted to say thanks for those who prayed for me or even wished me luck. It took a lot of work on both sides but my marriage stayed intact. My daughter was/is the most important part of this entire process and she is an amazing girl who is now going into 7th grade. I am no longer financially dependent on my wife and will never put myself in that position again. I am now 40 and am doing better than I ever thought possible.
    Wow. How you went from that first post to now I have no idea as those seemed like pretty insurmountable issues, but I'm glad it worked out for you. I guess if both parties are willing to make the marriage a priority, almost anything can be overcome. Too bad that not more people take that approach and head for the door as soon as problems arise.

    Leave a comment:


  • rooskers
    replied
    Update

    This is a very old thread but I just wanted to say thanks for those who prayed for me or even wished me luck. It took a lot of work on both sides but my marriage stayed intact. My daughter was/is the most important part of this entire process and she is an amazing girl who is now going into 7th grade. I am no longer financially dependent on my wife and will never put myself in that position again. I am now 40 and am doing better than I ever thought possible.

    $32,000 savings
    $625,000 retirement
    $150,000 equity in real estate investment ($120,000 left on loan)
    $150,000 equity in primary house ($108,000 left will be payed in 4 years)
    No other debt.

    Leave a comment:


  • rennigade
    replied
    josephortiz you bring a lot to the table...thanks spambot

    Leave a comment:


  • dawnwes
    replied
    Originally posted by bjl584 View Post
    His daughter is 10 now. I wonder how things turned out?
    Yeah, unfortunately, his last activity on this board was in 2009, so my guess is that we won't find out.

    Leave a comment:


  • bjl584
    replied
    Originally posted by dawnwes View Post
    This thread is 7 years old.
    His daughter is 10 now. I wonder how things turned out?

    Leave a comment:


  • dawnwes
    replied
    This thread is 7 years old.

    Leave a comment:


  • 97guns
    replied
    Originally posted by arthurb999 View Post
    Lawyer up.

    Since you are the primary caregiver for your daughter, you might be treated as the "woman" in the divorce and get alamony, stay in the house, etc.

    this^

    Leave a comment:

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