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Need feedback on my executor responsibilities and possibly compensation

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  • #16
    my opinion is that it depends on you and your brother. some people are reasonable when it comes to this kind of stuff, many aren't. If your brother isn't reasonable, it's easier and with less headache just to do the proportionate split. Even if you take a fair calculated amount, he can come after you with an attorney, create bad blood in the family, etc. it may or may not be worth it to you.

    Money makes people do funny things.... I have family members on both sides basically fighting over assets they expect to inherit, lots of bad blood. Glad im not involved. It's interesting that the person expecting to pass on inheritance never really thinks about how assets, not properly handled, will cause so many issues amongh family members. Especially if they have multiple children. I'm no expert, but to me, the simplest way is if they detail out what happens in their will and do it in a way that is less likely to be challenged. Such as stating that 1 year after death, all assets are to be liquidated, all debts accounted for, including fair renumeration at xx hourly rate to the trustee for work performed. The cash is to be dispersed according to whatever proportion. You can still run into issues using this method, but not nearly as bad as leaving vague terms and wishes in the will/estate/trust.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by ~bs View Post
      Money makes people do funny things.
      Many, many families have been split up over handling of inheritances (and money in general). People get really greedy and entitled when money gets involved. My wife's family had a big split years ago over a money issue (not inheritance related). She lost contact with her father's side of the family for about 30 years because of it and it was something really stupid and petty. When the dollars involved are bigger (like a 300K estate), the battles get proportionately larger.
      Steve

      * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
      * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
      * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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      • #18
        all good advice. I'll just split it out like was intended. It gives me a little heartburn to know that I single-handedly took 100 percent of all aspects of his situation, not the least of which was actually GROWING the size of his estate a good chunk while he was in a facility. Of course I get no thanks, just "when can I get my third." Of course at the funeral, they both said "oh we are in no rush just whenever." "Whenever" came 3 weeks later for my brother.

        I practically begged them to come and see their father before he got too bad, and that was when my sister accused me of playing martyr. Gee thanks.
        How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by TexasHusker View Post
          all good advice. I'll just split it out like was intended. It gives me a little heartburn to know that I single-handedly took 100 percent of all aspects of his situation, not the least of which was actually GROWING the size of his estate a good chunk while he was in a facility. Of course I get no thanks, just "when can I get my third." Of course at the funeral, they both said "oh we are in no rush just whenever." "Whenever" came 3 weeks later for my brother.

          I practically begged them to come and see their father before he got too bad, and that was when my sister accused me of playing martyr. Gee thanks.
          Pretty amazing how people show no appreciation for someone that raised them and helped them, yet those typically are the ones that are the most greedy. Sometimes I think about what the deceased/dying would have though if he/she saw their family acting the way they are, and I can only think of one word.... ashamed. If they're ignorant to the family fighting, that's probably for the best.

          I find my thinking is pretty black sheep compared to the average person. And im guessing most financially minded people are the same way, since it takes a strong sense of logical reasoning to successfully save and invest for the future. Like 1/10 or less people will understand. Thus 1/10 or less people will understand texashusker reasoning, and instead act like the siblings.

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          • #20
            Here's what googled said about how much an executor in Tx can charge the estate for his work:

            In Texas, an executor is entitled to 5% of all amounts the executor actually receives or pays out in cash in the administration of the estate, not to exceed 5% of the estate gross value.

            I'm in Ohio and paid myself for handling my mom's estate. I have 4 siblings and no one had a problem with it because I had handled all my mom's financials the last so many years of her life(which is escaping me now, since she's been gone 12 years). In reality I just kept about 2k so it wasn't a big sum of money but it did compensate me enough for my time of handling everything. It's not an easy job to be an executor. And in reality I did a lot of the work myself so I "saved" my siblings money by not hiring tasks out. As you did by growing your dad's estate so your siblings could inherit more.

            I'm going to let my own kids know that the executor is to be paid for his/her time!

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            • #21
              I've been through this twice with 2 large families. There are always siblings that take care of business and siblings that do nothing. Some people are just not capable of handling an ailing parent or the responsibilities that comes with it. I totally get your anger at the situation, but I would just pay the cash out evenly (after reimbursing yourself for the funeral). Enjoy your memories of your father and be proud of all you did for him.

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              • #22
                If you have any desire to keep peace with your siblings, then an even split would be the only way to do it.
                I understand a desire to take a little extra for your work, time, expenses, etc., and that would be a logical thing to do, but your siblings aren't thinking that way. They are coming from an emotional place where all they see are dollar signs.

                Sounds like you aren't too close with your family, so I'd be inclined to take some extra for my work, but it is your Dad's estate. What would he want you to do?
                Brian

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by bjl584 View Post
                  If you have any desire to keep peace with your siblings, then an even split would be the only way to do it.
                  I understand a desire to take a little extra for your work, time, expenses, etc., and that would be a logical thing to do, but your siblings aren't thinking that way. They are coming from an emotional place where all they see are dollar signs.

                  Sounds like you aren't too close with your family, so I'd be inclined to take some extra for my work, but it is your Dad's estate. What would he want you to do?
                  Truth be told, I'm not worried about extra compensation or money. I'm really more ticked off at my brother and sister for being such sloths. I'm busting my rear trying to get all of this stuff done, sorting through piles of documents, and can't even get my sister to give me a straight answer on her physical mailing address.

                  I've spent no telling how much time growing THEIR inheritance and all I get is snarky texts. So yeah, a part of me wants to say "fine then, I'll take my 5 points and you can go straight to ****. Go smoke your pot and buy your liquor store or your car. But I think this happens in a lot of families.
                  How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by TexasHusker View Post
                    a part of me wants to say "fine then, I'll take my 5 points and you can go straight to ****. Go smoke your pot and buy your liquor store or your car. But I think this happens in a lot of families.
                    I see nothing wrong with the executor taking the share that they are legally entitled to, especially if they are actually doing the work involved in settling the estate. If other heirs contest that, just be prepared to show everything that you did.
                    Steve

                    * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                    * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                    * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

                      I see nothing wrong with the executor taking the share that they are legally entitled to, especially if they are actually doing the work involved in settling the estate. If other heirs contest that, just be prepared to show everything that you did.
                      both stay too stoned to contest anything. But your point is well taken.
                      How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by TexasHusker View Post

                        both stay too stoned to contest anything. But your point is well taken.
                        Sorry to hear that Texas, excessive substance abuse by family can be unfortunate.
                        james.c.hendrickson@gmail.com
                        202.468.6043

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                        • #27
                          I would take my 5% or what is allowed. My husband has been a trustee on three different estates. It is a lot of work. His siblings did nothing. He took a fee...not the total that he could take but he took some just to make up for all the time I spent (yes me, not him) dispersing the estate. I work from home so those hours were hours I could not charge someone else. When his mom died, I spent a lot of time on her estate when I could have been spending it with my kids.

                          When his mom's boyfriend died, we dispersed his estate. Since then, I have found over $4k more in money and we sent them each their share.

                          I am the trustee on my parents' trust. When they die, you can bet I'm taking my fee. My brother does not live here and I know everything is going to fall on me. I will gladly take my percentage. (When you think about it, half of the fee is mine anyways.)

                          A friend of mine has three siblings. None of them do anything. She is at her parents' house every weekend taking care of them. She is keeping track of every penny she spends and is going to get reimbursed for all of that before the estate is dispersed.

                          There is nothing wrong with taking a fee as an executor or trustee. Even if you don't need the money. It is your right and if you want to take it, you should.

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                          • #28
                            If it makes you feel better, my mother had the same problems with her sister when my grandparents died, and my aunt is stone cold sober. She wanted the money but didn't want to do anything for it, even it was just meeting at a bank near her house to sign some papers. It delayed things by several months and then she complained about how long it was taking.

                            If I was in this position, I wouldn't charge for my time for the past 8 years because I would have been doing it for my father and not my siblings. I definitely would charge for all documented costs and something for time spent (if allowed) for all the work done strictly as the executor, and I wouldn't feel bad about it at all. Sorry you are going through this.

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                            • #29
                              I've read the other comments, and my one thought is that you are aware you grew the estate and your siblings are now benefiting. However, my guess is that you grew the estate to extend the cash to help your father should his life have continued longer. This was smart and was also to keep you from needing to tap into your own resources, which I'm sure you would have done if needed. So it was to help him originally. If your dad wants it split three ways then than that is the right thing to do. I think it is morally and legally okay to charge a fee to the estate for executor costs, but it you know that will not be accepted well, and you can afford not to take the fees out, then that is probably the cleanest way to move forward and not burn the relationship you have. I see nothing wrong with pointing out what 'could' charge a fee but didn't.
                              My other blog is Your Organized Friend.

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