It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

[Marcymox]

I just posted in the no-spend challenge thread, and it got me thinking about my extremist spending habits.
One of my goals onthe on the no spend challenge, besides not spending at all, was to not spend this year on Halloween decorations this year- not one dime, since I DO have decorations, they are just boring to me since I've used them the last few years over and over.

I love those elaborate displays they have at wal-mart with ghouls and enough supplies to make your own mock cemetary or haunted house. It occurred to me that if I can't decorate like that- with a new fog machine, new ghouls, and some mock coffins, I really don't want to decorate at all. Makes me sound like I'm pouting like a toddler, but I suppose I'm an extremeist like that. I don't want to just put out a couple pumpkins and call that "decorated" subconcioulsy( sp) it says to me " you are too poor to decorate like you REALLY want, so why even bother, everytime you walk outside you will feel poor because you don't have the decorations you REALLY wanted. "

What a silly and immature way to think, I know!! I do that with alot of things, if I can't have THAT EXACT pair of whatever- Nike shoxx for example ( too expensive) I'll just give up and go home and wear my cruddy ol K-mart traxx another year. Or if I can't find - or usually can't afford the item I'm pining for, I just give up and not buy anything at all. This happens often. I just do without because the second-best choice isn't what I REALLY wanted. and If I buy the second choice, I'm usually not happy with it anyway.

anyone else do this??

[Ima saver]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

Not me, I am happy with my light up pumpkin on the table and my little ghost by the front door. When I was young, we were too poor to decorate for anything, so I enjoy what little I have!

[Bookie]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

I don't think the problem with all-or-nothing thinking is that we go without Halloween decorations.

[thekid]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

I know it may not always be easy, but we really have to stop equating the trinkets we have with what we are worth (both financially and as a person). If you bought all the trinkets you want, would you consider yourself "less poor"? Is the friend that has all the trinkets "less poor" than you because he has them. Chances are its the exact opposite. Really, most people with all the (little and big) trinkets are not the richest......just the ones who converted potential savings into trinkets. Not that smart.

Be proud that you didn't dive in and bought all the "stuff", but rather were smart about it and bought sensibly and also kept your valuable assets.

[pearlieq]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

I tend to do the same thing. I actually think it's quite wise. Why spend money on something you don't really want? I would rather just do without until I can afford what I really want.

I try to keep an open mind about alternatives, but in general I find it's best to hold out for what I really will value.

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

I have a few pumpkins outside and A few decorations scattered about. If we did not have them I would not go out of my way to buy them. Your way of thinking is not immature it is simply your way of thinking. You have to make chnges according to what makes you feel comfortable.

If the purchase is not a major purchase then the lowest priced item is fine with me. Major purchases see me buy quality or pretty much not at all. Buy Cheap, Pay Dear is something I have learned the hard way over the years!

[boefixepa]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

OH, I can see flylady jumping in on this one! This is what she calls 'perfectionism' rearing it's ugly head. It's kind of like if I can't do it perfectly I'm not going to do it at all. I like one of her sayings 'Imperfect cleaning still blesses your family' and it applies to all aspects of life. A little decoration will still make the little kids smile when they come a knockin' and it still shows you care enough to make them smile. If we were wait in life to do everything 'perfectly' nothing would ever get done! Do the best you can with what you have, bless your life and the life of others and don't sweat the rest!

[thekid]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

Excuse the interruption, but who or what is the "flylady"? I've heard of her a few times around here. A financial guru?

[boefixepa]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

No, more like a personal life coach to help you keep your house and life in order. Flylady.net is her web site.

[PRICEPLUS]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

It is an interesting site.

[thekid]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

Thanks for the info. I shall have a look.

[Elgin526]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

I know it may not always be easy, but we really have to stop equating the trinkets we have with what we are worth (both financially and as a person). If you bought all the trinkets you want, would you consider yourself "less poor"? Is the friend that has all the trinkets "less poor" than you because he has them. Chances are its the exact opposite. Really, most people with all the (little and big) trinkets are not the richest......just the ones who converted potential savings into trinkets. Not that smart.

Be proud that you didn't dive in and bought all the "stuff", but rather were smart about it and bought sensibly and also kept your valuable assets.

I can only speak for myself, but I don't want "stuff" because it makes me feel rich, nor does NOT having stuff make me feel poor. There are things out there (home decorations, clothing, etc.) that I want because I just like them!

I have a porcelain figurine, it's one of my favorite personal possesions. It was very expensive. But I'd love it just the same if I had gotten it for a few dollars at a garage sale. I have it, not to make me feel wealthy or important or to impress my friends, but because I feel it's a beautiful peace of art and looking at it makes me happy! In the same curio cabinet I have $5 garage sale finds that when I look at them, they make me equally happy.

Now, buying "wants" when not all of your "needs" in life aren't taken care of is foolish, of course, and that is something I've done in the past and I'm working on correcting. But once the "needs" are taken care of (including savings and investments), there is nothing wrong with spending the rest on "wants". Sure I could make 5.5% in an online bank acount, but I'd rather have a curio cabinet filled with items I love.

[markio26]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

i did not have time to read everyones comments on this post.. thanks for posting this... i agree with julie, i enjoy and my family enjoys, what we already have... we use the same pumpkin greeting on our door, that says happy harvest... we use a black sheet for our tablecloth... we have a lighted pumpkin in the front window... we have a floral display with all the fall flowers and colors, at our door way...and we always use the same pumpkin, to put the candy into....
here is an idea i am gonna do for the kids, as a dress up box..
when i see the halloween costumes, and odds and ends that do not match up on sale for $0.50... i am gonna buy them for lexie and chase dress up boxes, maybe for their birthdays..

[JanH]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

Actually, using the old stuff year after year becomes part of the tradition. I didn't realize this until my kids complained that I wasn't doing something the same. They appreciate a new thing thrown in from time to time, but starting with what you already have and building slowly becomes part of the whole thing. I guess it is enjoying the process more than the result.....

[PrincessPerky]

Re: It's all or nothing for me! - spending habits

Have you tried frugal versions of some things? or thinking of after halloween sales? I know a guy who got a huge fog maker for like 15 bucks by waiting for after halloween, it isn't that you can't have it, just not yet...

though I ditto the traddittions...we have the same sorts of things, I might change the places, but we have the same bat that DH had as a kid.....we also have some spider webs we made ourselves this year, I ahve a whole new appriciation for spiders! boy was the web hard! (orb weaver web, traditional spiral and all)