Financial crisis. What do I do??

[joesaysso]

I never said I blamed anybody 100% for anything, you, her, or anybody else. Look who is stuffing mouths with words now. Funny, I've never heard of a comparison about marriage to a business before. Interesting indeed. And I am the CEO just because I am the man? Which makes my wife what.....? Senior VP of Operations, maybe? Maybe its a perfect situation though and I was unaware of it. The next time my wife attempts to spend money on anything that isn't in our budget, I will override her authority by stating that I am the CEO here. You are just some lowly Serior VP. I should also threaten to fire her thew next she does something that goes against the prosperity of our business...or is it marriage.

In this marriage is like a business dream world that you are living in, is the man always the CEO? What does the woman have to do to take over the company? The next time the wife and I have an argument, I will just tell her to shut up and be happy with her front row parking spot, company car, and her expense account. That ought to go over well.

Hmmm...I just thought of something. Do you think we qualify for a government bailout? Maybe Obama could save my house.

[cptacek]

I never said I blamed anybody 100% for anything, you, her, or anybody else. Look who is stuffing mouths with words now. Funny, I've never heard of a comparison about marriage to a business before. Interesting indeed. And I am the CEO just because I am the man? Which makes my wife what.....? Senior VP of Operations, maybe? Maybe its a perfect situation though and I was unaware of it. The next time my wife attempts to spend money on anything that isn't in our budget, I will override her authority by stating that I am the CEO here. You are just some lowly Serior VP. I should also threaten to fire her thew next she does something that goes against the prosperity of our business...or is it marriage.

In this marriage is like a business dream world that you are living in, is the man always the CEO? What does the woman have to do to take over the company? The next time the wife and I have an argument, I will just tell her to shut up and be happy with her front row parking spot, company car, and her expense account. That ought to go over well.

Hmmm...I just thought of something. Do you think we qualify for a government bailout? Maybe Obama could save my house.

lol. Nice comeback!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'd have to say most people on her e of either gender is the family CEO. And I am going to guess maybe it's 50/50 male and female. It would be aawesome to fire my DH. He's CTO/CFO probably though. Gosh imagine if you said you're fired!

[snafu]

Please use your time and energy to repair your financial situation...look forward rather than back. Have you sought help from family, friends and colleagues? Can you get a loan from your employer to keep the house? Can your wife offer child care or after school care to increase income? On some streets the SAHM prepares dinner for others on her street, they pick up and pay since it is healthier than fast food. Are your children able to add to family income [babysit, cut grass, shovel sidewalks]

If you post your budget/expenditures, those who have no emotional ties are often able to make useful suggestions.

[joesaysso]

The wife is going to ask her father for a loan. Her family is usually pretty well off so hopefully they can help. They gave her brother and his wife 10 G's for a wedding present while we got a clock. We'll see what happens there. My wife works as a substitute teacher. Meaning she never quite knows when she is going to be working. She applied for a couple of full-time jobs as a master teacher at a couple different day cares. She actually got hired at one but they told her they wouldn't be able to keep her on full-time until after the holidays when day care enrollment usually goes up. So she had to continue subbing because we would have lost money if she worked at the day care due to the money that would then have to come out of her check for the kids to go to day care. As it is now, the kids don't go since the wife works at the school, she takes them and picks them up.

Life is seemingly dangling the carrot in front of us but pulling it away everytime we try and grab it. My job is very non-flexible. There is no help from my employer coming and due to my schedule and the fact that I'm gone half the time, a second job will be hard to hold.

I'm going to sell everything I can right now, see how much money comes in for Christmas and birthdays that are happening this month, get my taxes done as soon as possible hoping that the mortgage company won't foreclose until after I get my refund, pray my wife gets called back to that full-time job, and hope her family helps us.

[wincrasher]

Wow. Sounds like a tough one, but you are going for a multi-pronged approach - that is good.

You mentioned a tax refund. If you are getting alot back, you should adjust your W-4 so you get more back each week instead.

Good luck to you, and your senior VP as well.

[TurnDebtIntoDebt]

First of all, my heart goes to you. It would be the best thing right now to do whatever you can to come up with extra income. If your wife is not working, she needs to definitely. You may have to obtain a part-time job. In a post above, there are a list of things you can do to earn extra money. Try that. Also, you may want to consider credit counseling. One of the main issues that destroys a marriage is money. Don't let that happen. Both of you can sit down and learn how to effectively save, budget and pay bills on time, your credit and what decisions you make that can effort your scores negatively. Because you don't have the money to pay back-payments says that you don't have an emergency fund or any other savings. Even though you may be more disciplined with money, both of you should commit yourselves to being better stewards of your finances. I do wish the best for you and your family.

[lexi_kaye]

In a serious time of need like this, has anyone asked if you have a 401K? You could take out a loan so you don't lose the house and you might even qualify for a hardship withdrawal.

[Ima saver]

Joe, I hope the family will give you a loan. I am sorry that love is so tough on you. I don't agree with him at all. I have handled every dime my husband has ever earned and he has never checked "the books" He credits me with him becoming a financial success!! BTW, we have been married for almost 33 years!

[creditcardfree]

In a serious time of need like this, has anyone asked if you have a 401K? You could take out a loan so you don't lose the house and you might even qualify for a hardship withdrawal.

Generally not recommended. There are too many negatives, but it is a possibility to consider if the family loan doesn't come through.

[joesaysso]

Thanks, all for your kind words and advice. My "Senior VP" called her dad who said he would help us out. So it looks as though the house will be saved. I'm still in crisis mode, though, and will breathe easier once its actually a done deal. And we are still continueing the effort to bring more money into the house.

You know the biggest problem is that this all comes at the worst possible time. My wife just had surgery so she can't work right now, heck she can barely move. She'll be hurting for probably two more weeks. I can't get a second job, I work way too much at my first one to begin and I'm getting ready to leave for 6 weeks to attend a training course.

My car just died too. The battery corroded and ruined one of the terminal cables. I need a new battery, a new cable, and two new tires that I have been putting off until after christmas. Goodbye 400 more dollars that I don't have.

Seriously, I appreciate that our finances have taken a turn for the worst because the wife and I didn't give them the attention they deserve but our luck hasn't done us any favors either. I don't know what I did to get on the bad side of karma but this is ridiculous. In the last calendar year we have: totaled a mini-van, wrecked the wife's new car, needed a new set of tires on my car, hit a trucker's tire skin on the interstate causing solid body damage to my car, the battery died in my car, our refridgerator was broken for 3 months in the summer causing tons of food loss, the air conditioner broke in the middle of the summer, the washer broke, and then my wife's surgery plus probably a few other things that I'm missing that have cost us quite a bit of money. Our luck is out of control right now.

I do not have a 401k to tap into. I've been looking at our bills and budget daily since this mess started. All the bills are paid on time now, which is a start (minus the two problems that this thread is originally about, of course). It is proving really hard to do a solid budget. I made an excel spread sheet that adds our income and substracts all of our expenditures to gives us a current total of how much "available" money we have at any given time. However, tracking every single dime that gets spent on the tiny expenses that adds up are proving difficult. Everytime I turn around, the budget is off. Online banking and real time bank statements are nothing short of a miracle.

With the financial problems plus everything else that is going on in this house, my stress has hit a peak I have never seen before. I believe that once we get the bills back under control, as long as our luck changes it wouldn't be long before we could starting putting money away for emergencies. Of course, emergencies have to stop happening first. Everytime I turn around there is a new one. When the wife can manage to get a full time job things will turn significantly in our favor. We are just treading water until then, unfortunately.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Good luck. When it rains it usually pours. I to have found 2009 being a rough year.

[minnie1928]

As easy as it can be to dwell on the negatives, I am a big believer in positive thinking. You have a relative willing and able to help out financially...that's a good thing. Your wife will be feeling better, relatively soon...that's a good thing. You've got a plan for the future...that's definitely a good thing. You've started to turn things around. Keep focussing on that and let the recent past slip into the distant past.

[wincrasher]

Wow, that sounds like a tough year.

I'm a big believer in reducing chaos in your life. It's not easy and takes alot of forethought.

Sometimes that means replacing something that is old, but not broken yet. Sometimes it's slowing down and getting in the right lane. Sometimes is breaking off a friendship with somebody that always has alot of drama in their lives. Listen to your instincts about situations and people. Ever get that feeling, maybe I should just stay home tonite?

I know this all sounds nutty and doesn't help you a bit right now. But it's something to start pondering when you get some quiet time - which I hope you get soon.

[snafu]

Sorry about your situation ...Battery cables corroded suggests you never look under the hood, fridge breakdown undetected or left for 3 months and mortgage woes draws a word picture that speaks volumes.

Try the auto wreckers for tires, battery & cable costing less than you expect. Would be a good idea for you to do an oil change for I suspect the car has not had scheduled maintenance.