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Old 05-14-2017, 07:49 AM
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Default Money Moms

What did you learn financially from your mother?
How are you teaching your kids (at what age?)?
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Old 05-14-2017, 08:26 AM
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My mom spent my dad into horrendous credit card debt multiple times and doesn't understand or care to understand the concept of personal finance at all. I learned to not be like her.

No kids but I am very close to two nephews whose parents are not the best financial role models so at the ages of 15 we are trying to teach them basic personal finance concepts when they spend time with us.
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Old 05-14-2017, 09:35 AM
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From my mom:
How to live on very little money.
That learning is fun. (Yeah, I think that is a financial lesson.)
The importance of honesty.
That it is OK to accept help and that help is out there if you look.
That debt will own you (negative lesson).

To my son:
The above lessons (not the first so much because we have been lucky, and the last one as a positive lesson).
How to budget.
How to invest, and how to not fear bear markets.
To start saving early for retirement. (He opened a Roth at 18.)
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Old 05-14-2017, 10:19 AM
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Mom taught me the art of frugality and to save, it was a lifestyle. I don't have kids but I'm trying to reel my wife into that lifestyle, taking baby steps
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Old 05-14-2017, 10:48 AM
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My mom set good habits:
She would make us do the unit price math at the grocery store. She must have been so patient!
She would always pack food for trips. With 10 kids, eating on the run gets much too expensive.
We would go on lots of cheap family trips to state parks and hikes.

I'm trying to teach my toddlers what money is by letting then earn coins for their money jar. The can help put away dishes, stir pots, sort laundry, put away their laundry, use the vacuum hose under the table, etc. When they break stuff, they have to help pay for replacements.
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Old 05-14-2017, 12:04 PM
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I'm going to add tithing to my list from my mom. My sophomore year in college I received several grants and scholarships totaling to about $2,000 over my expected costs for the semester. I felt so over blessed, knowing how many people struggle to pay for college. I prayed in gratitude and for direction. The distinct reply I got was that it was a trust thing. I had proven that I am willing to give back to the Lord through tithing and that this was the next step: using the added blessings to do His work. Maybe this is too spiritual for this type of forum, but I have been blessed financially by tithing.


Jacob 2

17 Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you.

18 But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.

19 And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.
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Old 05-14-2017, 03:40 PM
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I am interested in hearing more about your take on the tithe concept. While I give to my church, here is my understanding of the tithe, which is mandated in Deuteronomy 14:

- Is was essentially the income tax system for ancient Israel
- It was a commandment by God, not a suggestion.
- There were actually three tithes - one tithe of crops per year to support clergy(Levites) who had no crops, one tithe every year to fund all of the Hebrew holidays and celebrations, and one tithe every third year to support local clergy, orphans, widows, etc. So the total to be given was 23.3 percent per year.
- Each tithe was 10 percent of crops or livestock - what the land produced.
- If it was too burdensome for you to cart the tithes to Jerusalem, you could convert it to currency.

I am always interested to know how we took this system and shoehorned it into the Christian faith.

I could be way off from my study so feel free to help me out.
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Old 05-14-2017, 03:53 PM
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Is milly now filling the shoes of goodsteward?
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Old 05-14-2017, 04:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rennigade View Post
Is milly now filling the shoes of goodsteward?
We are getting an LDS slant this time but I had the same thought as you, here we go again.
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Old 05-14-2017, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rennigade View Post
Is milly now filling the shoes of goodsteward?
Where has Good Steward gone?

BTW I think trusting God and relying on him is wonderful, important, and scriptural, and it pleases Him. I'm just questioning the poster's concept of the tithe.
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Old 05-14-2017, 06:54 PM
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I can't exactly say that my mom taught me to cook, but she taught me to appreciate cooking if that makes sense. She always made everything at home from scratch and I just kind of picked that up from her.

She taught me about being frugal. I was raised shopping at thrift stores, flea markets, yard sales, auctions, and discount shops. When we traveled, we packed a picnic lunch and ate at roadside stops. We packed a cooler for in our hotel. We stayed in efficiency rooms when possible long before every hotel room had a fridge and microwave. She taught me to fix rather than replace when possible or to just make do with what we had rather than always buying something new.

My dad was totally a part of all of this too. It wasn't all her, but the question was only aimed at what mom did.
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Old 05-14-2017, 08:27 PM
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My relationship with mom has been shaky since I was a kid. She left the family when I was 15 but my brother was only 10. That was a very damaging thing to him.

I thought she would appreciate a mulligan with grandkids, but she eventually blew those relationships up, too.

My kids kind of got the shaft on grandparents - my mother in law died years ago, my father in law hasn't ever given them the time of day, then my mom. My dad had a really good relationship with them but then he was stricken with Alzheimer's.
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Old 05-14-2017, 09:23 PM
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My dad was the one who was strictly (devastatingly?) frugal (to & beyond the point of cheap). My mom was the yin to his yang though, so she taught us to buy for quality, then take very good care of it. For example, I'm using the couch & dining room set that she bought in ... 2006? Also this desk I'm sitting at, my family has owned since I was a kid. Oh, and the baby dresser/changing table that I change my son's diapers on? My own butt got changed on that very same piece of furniture. She gave them to me when I graduated college, and they're all still in excellent shape. I could go on with many other examples, but you get the idea.
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Old 05-14-2017, 09:52 PM
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I learned to use coupons and how to check the unit price of things. That was about it. She was actually against me contributing to the 403B (both of my parents were) because "that is for rich people". She was, and still is, pretty dumbfounded by money. We had to have about $5,000 for something to do with the cottage we all share, and my sister and I told her to just get the cash out of the joint account at the bank. She actually said, "Are you kidding??? Banks don't have that kind of money just sitting there!!!!". I'm not kidding, unfortunately.
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Old 05-15-2017, 05:43 AM
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My mom wasn't very good with money, but darned good at spending. She came from a pretty well to do family and while married my dad took care of the money. When she was on her own in old age, the wheels fell off and I had to step in and clean things up. Glad I was around to help her out.
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Old 05-16-2017, 05:31 PM
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Well I learned frugality, how to live on air at times (more than once food was left on our doorstep), how to cook from scratch (although I taught myself much of how to cook, but I was used to seeing it done), I grew up in homemade or hand me down clothes and was making my own clothes from home ec on. We learned how to take care of property as our own. My mom has only ever lived in two homes that she was considered the owner of. One was being bought on land contract and when we moved away the original owner bought it back as she had improved it so much, and she is currently in her own home. So growing up we were renters. As far as I know the rent was always paid on time and when I see renters taking their good old time to pay rent or are destroying the places they live in, I don't understand that at all. Except for about 4 years of my adult life, I have always had my own home.

My mom did not like asking for help and I think at times that was to our detriment. We were also raised with this mind set that we had to make stupendest grades in school, yet when college years came near, there was no help or guidance on that front (I didn't expect financial help from her, but guidance or even asking the guidance couselor at school for ways on getting scholarships, etc. sure would have helped which is part of why I worked my way through). Some jobs weren't good enough, but if I had told her back in 1973 that I wanted to be CEO of IBM I do think she would have rejected that as a job possiblity as making too much money always seemed to be as bad as not making enough. So I grew up with a lot of mixed messages.

My dad flew the coop when I was in 2-3 grade and I have seen him I believe exactly twice since then, the last time when I was 17. He is still alive and I am in my 60's so you see how much he wanted to be part of the family of five kids he produced with my mother. From him I learned that your children above all else must know that you love them in word and action. That being selfish with your money money and time isn't the way to do that. My dad spent several years gambling for someone else in Las Vegas. He is an intelligent man that aways saw the grass be greener on the other side of the fence.

We can learn so much from our parents and some of the things we learn, they don't realize that it came from them. I do know that is I had had the opportunity and inclination to get married within a year of graduating from HS, I was perfectly capable of doing all aspects of those housewife type skills as well as taking care of children, unlike most young ladies these days. When my son was dating I was starting to panic at all the young ladies that didn't know how to do a thing in the kitchen. Thankfully he got his act together and has a wonderful wife and they both cook.

As to tithing, that was part of our growing up and while we didn't grow rich because we did it, there is a wonderful feeling to being able to help someone else out in whatever way we can. My financial giving is way down these days, but I do give in other ways that are just as helpful and appreciated.
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Last edited by Gailete; 05-16-2017 at 05:34 PM.
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Old 05-16-2017, 10:01 PM
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No debt, cut up credit cards if you can't pay them off in 1 month. Save. Live within your means. Be frugal. Spend money on what's important to you. Help others and be generous with yourself.

I am teaching my DK the same thing. DK1 already knows the value of the dollar. She makes conscious spending decisions at 7. Understanding fully what it means to have to save. She also appreciates how much she has as we go volunteer at a shelter for kids and women and sees how they are so appreciative for a group party whereas she gets her own. And tons of presents and gifts. They get one.

This is seriously something I learned a lot from my mom. How to appreciate and help those less fortunate because there are always people worse off than you.
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Old 05-17-2017, 05:12 AM
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Living Large - This is where the difference in age we were growing up makes. I have no clue for certain when credit cards were available to the general public, but we sure didn't have one when I was growing up. My ex and I got our first in around 1981 and I avoided using it as it had a yearly fee if you used it, so even if I thought about using it, I had to add the price of the yearly fee to the price of the item I would be considering and then of course, realize it would be too costly. Now just about everyone and their brother can have cards so kids really need to be aware of how to use them. My youngest that turns 34 in a couple of months, has been able to deal without a cred it card, as when necessary he uses his debit card.

During the time I was married to Mr. Bigbucks, my boys got a huge lesson in how NOT to use them!
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Old 05-18-2017, 08:59 AM
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Gailete I'm closer in age to your kids. My mom cut up the credit cards the day she became a single mom. And that saved us from debt. We managed. But she grew up poor so it came naturally.

I've found a lot of people justify they aren't in "debt" but then when they start talking their like oh the car loan, student loan, then some CC debt they pay off when the bonus hits.
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Old 05-19-2017, 02:52 PM
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I learned savings, and then I learned investing from my mom. She would take the money she saved and continuously and systematically invest in RE, Stocks and others. This commitment and continuous process built a decent nest egg for them.

Also, I learned from her to not panic sell in 2001.. lol. That probably saved me the most
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