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Old 02-10-2017, 12:50 PM
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Default Women keeping their maiden name

I find this disturbing. "Half of American Adults Think It Should Be Illegal for Married Women to Keep Their Last Names"


http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/f...Pcp?li=BBnb7Kz
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Old 02-10-2017, 02:05 PM
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I read the article and unless I missed it the headline is a bit sensationalized. There is no discussion of changing laws. It did show some less educated men have negative opinions on women who don't change their name.
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Old 02-13-2017, 09:46 AM
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I would almost guarantee a lot of those same people still think women shouldnt be able to vote...and there should still be slavery.

My wife put her maiden name after her middle name...the whole hyphen thing. But she has my last name. I couldnt care less if she kept her last name, did the hyphen thing or completely change it. I actually put more thought about what time I want to walk to the bank today than I did about changing last names. Didnt even realize it was an issue with some people?
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Old 02-13-2017, 10:05 AM
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As the average age of marriage has increased and the prevalence of women in the workforce has grown, especially in higher end jobs, this has become far more common. A female physician who has an established reputation in the community is less inclined to change her name when she gets married.

The one thing that is always awkward, though, is that when the woman doesn't change her name, I'm never quite sure if a couple is married or not. If I'm talking to someone and want to mention their partner, it's hard when I'm not sure if I can say husband or wife. Also when addressing invitations or holiday cards.
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Old 02-13-2017, 10:25 AM
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I changed my name because I liked it better, lol. But kept it when I got divorced because the kids were little and I wanted us to have the same name. Now I regret that so much. I have to go to court to change it back and all the zillions of places I'd have to notify is mind boggling. I'm sticking with it for now but down the road when I feel ready to tackle that challenge, I'll change.

I have a very unique first and last maiden name. Whenever I googled myself nothing ever came up but me. But my friend googled me last week and said there is a woman on Facebook with my exact name who has "from Bat Mitzvah to prostitute, a journey..." written on her FB. I am mortified and partly convinced she took my name. It is about as far from Jewish as a name can be and it's so weird how there was never anyone out there with my name then this prostitute shows up. I checked my credit report and everything was ok. But still feel like it's hinky.
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Old 02-13-2017, 11:51 AM
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When I was in high school, we had a male substitute teacher that took his wife's last name when they got married. This was in the mid 90's, and everyone found it a bit odd. Especially us narrow minded teenagers. But, still to this day I've never run into another man that has taken his wife's name. It was unique to say the least.
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Old 02-13-2017, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bjl584 View Post
When I was in high school, we had a male substitute teacher that took his wife's last name when they got married. This was in the mid 90's, and everyone found it a bit odd. Especially us narrow minded teenagers. But, still to this day I've never run into another man that has taken his wife's name. It was unique to say the least.
What's in a name? Personally, I'd be totally comfortable with this. Honestly, if the wife had a strong desire/need to keep her name (such as a well-known professional, whether in medicine, law, journalism, education, or otherwise), I think it makes absolute sense for the husband to take her name. What does it matter, or how is it different from when a wife takes her husband's name? Uncommon in our society, sure, but so what? As DS mentioned, I'd strongly prefer to take my wife's last name and have it more clearly understood that we're married than to insist on keeping my own name while she keeps hers.

In fact, we had this exact discussion when we got married. She didn't want to change her name for a variety of reasons. I was completely unwilling for us to have different last names... call me old-fashioned. If her her maiden name was something less ....boring.... than "Smith", I might have considered taking hers (I did have that thought at the time). I wouldn't care too much, my concern was more that I wanted us to share our name.
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Old 02-14-2017, 06:39 AM
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I have a family member who never went and got her name legally changed, and now they can get more food stamps by not having to claim her husband as part of her household since they don't have the same last name.

I think it is better in general for the couple to share the last name.
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Old 02-14-2017, 11:35 AM
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It is sad, but not surprising. There is always someone out there loudly objecting to pretty much anything a woman decides to do. I kept my name because it is a big part of my identity, and I didn't want to give that up.

Where I live there are so many sson names Anderson, Svensson etc. that couples often take the name that is more unique even if it is the woman's name. We have some friends that also combined their name to make a new name.
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Old 02-14-2017, 11:41 AM
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It should be an honor to take your husbands name

Two become one

My SIL kept her maiden name because she had already established her business as a GYNO OBGYN so it made sense.
Or if the name is something so goofy or difficult to spell it would be burdensome.
Certainly there are very valid reasons to keep it but overall, I don't understand keeping your own last name otherwise.
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Old 02-14-2017, 11:42 AM
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New life, new name
Is the man not starting a new life as well?
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Old 02-14-2017, 11:49 AM
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Is the man not starting a new life as well?
Of course but it isn't customary for him to take her name so that wasn't addressed.
Though I think it should be an option as there are valid reasons for that too imho

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Old 02-14-2017, 11:52 AM
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I am a little surprised that we are having this conversation in 2017. I consider it a personal decision between the husband and wife.

With all of the blended families these days, I find it weird that some folks feel this should be "law". What about same sex marriages? Which name would take precedent in this situation?
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Old 02-14-2017, 01:34 PM
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My wife has kept her last name when we married because it's her identity she says and no trouble except a few times when people think you're not married and you have to explain.
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Old 03-01-2017, 07:54 AM
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I don't see anything wrong if women wants to keep their maiden name
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Old 03-01-2017, 08:53 AM
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I'm not sure how they did it but my girl cousin married a guy and the guy took her last name, they are hippies and I think he wanted an Asian last name
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Old 03-01-2017, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
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I'm not sure how they did it but my girl cousin married a guy and the guy took her last name
What do you mean you don't know how they did it? A guy can change his name just the same way that a girl can.
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Old 03-01-2017, 02:03 PM
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Never knew it
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Old 03-01-2017, 04:01 PM
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What a confusing mess. Women just change your last name if you truly love the person (otherwise I can see otherwise if it is burdensome to do for other reasons).

If you do not want to "become one" with your spouse, you better not get married. Because balking at your new identity of Mrs. so and so is not a good sign of mental stability.
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Old 03-01-2017, 04:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Outdoorsygal View Post
What a confusing mess. Women just change your last name if you truly love the person (otherwise I can see otherwise if it is burdensome to do for other reasons).

If you do not want to "become one" with your spouse, you better not get married. Because balking at your new identity of Mrs. so and so is not a good sign of mental stability.
Wow. Let's just throw society back 50 years.
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