stress

Coping Techniques That Are Actually Adding To Your Holiday Stress

December 2, 2018 By Amanda Blankenship Leave a Comment

The average adult in the United States is expected to spend $885 on Christmas this year. Many people begin to feel the financial impact and stress of the holiday season right around this time of year. However, many folks are trying to cope with holiday stress in ways that actually make it worse.

Unhealthy Coping Techniques

Being stressed out during the holidays is inevitable for some. Between finding the perfect gift, sticking to a budget, and trying to remain in the holiday spirit, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Because of this, many people head straight towards coping techniques to manage the stress of the season. However, some of the most popular coping techniques are actually adding to your holiday stress.

Having a drink before bed. Plenty of people have a glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage before bed. Although this can help you wind down, it will also disrupt REM sleep. To get the best night’s sleep possible, skip the booze.
Binging on carbs. The holidays are typically full of good, carby foods. Loading up on these foods will cause energy crashes and add to your holiday stress more than you know.
Don’t skip the gym! Many people find the hustle-and-bustle of the holiday season a good reason to skip their regular workout routine. Working out will help naturally boost your energy levels and it is a great way to beat stress. Skipping it will actually make you feel less energized.
Stopping for an extra coffee. Too much caffeine will always leave you feeling drained and, when accompanied by stress, it can make you feel really sick.
Making everyone else a priority. Although the holiday season is usually about finding gifts for others and lending a helping hand, you can’t make everyone else top priority all the time. It is important to continue practicing self-care and considering your needs.
Don’t overschedule yourself. FOMO (fear of missing out) often leads people to overscheduling themselves during the holiday season. However, scheduling yourself for too many events will only add to your stress.
Stop trying to catch up on your sleep on the weekends. You need to get regular sleep every night. Don’t try to run all of your errands and catch up on sleep on the weekends. This irregular sleep pattern will make you feel lethargic.
Trim your social media use down. It is easy to fall into a comparison trap when you are scrolling through social media, especially during the holiday season. Instead, unplug for a little while and spend quality time with the people that mean most to you.

Ways to Beat Holiday Stress

Instead of hitting up these harmful coping techniques, consider doing one of the following to battle your holiday stress.

Spend some time outside. It is easy to spend every day inside during the holiday season, especially if you live in a colder area. Bundling up and going out for a walk can be great for your mental health. Be sure that if you’re not able to soak up some sunshine you should take a Vitamin D supplement.
Add some citrus into your life. Citrus smells can help combat stress, anxiety, and depression. Put an orange or lemon essential oil into a diffuser in your home and you’ll start noticing a difference in your overall mood.
Stick to a routine. Don’t let the holidays throw off your regular routine. Stick to some parts of your day, like waking up at the same time, hitting the gym, and what time you eat. Having this basic routine will help you find some normality during the busy time of year.
Get regular exercise. If it’s too cold to get outside for a walk, schedule some time to go to a workout class with friends or hit the gym. Working out is one of the best natural ways to beat stress.
Take some time for yourself. The holiday season is typically about other people so it is easy to let your personal needs go under the radar. The best gift you can give yourself this year is maintaining your self-care throughout the holidays.

Lastly, remember that the holiday season is about spending time with one another. The best present you can give someone is your presence. Don’t let your finances stop you from having a happy holiday season.

Readers, how do you cope with holiday stress?

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? You Shouldn’t

January 29, 2016 By Alexa Mason 2 Comments

A lot of people claim that they would love to be a millionaire. After all, when the economy is shaky and your bank account is looking low, who wouldn’t like a little more financial security? However, becoming a millionaire might not be all you imagine, especially when it comes to your finances. Here are a few reasons you might want to reconsider becoming a millionaire:

Life is not about the money
It’s an arbitrary number
It fails to take into account other life goals
It won’t make you happy
It gives you the wrong focus
It’s a lifestyle trap

Taxes

Becoming a millionaire means that you’re in a different tax bracket, which means that you’ll end up paying more money in taxes. A lot of people don’t factor in the tax amount when they think about becoming a millionaire. Additionally, while the federal government has set tax brackets, the tax brackets for your specific state vary. Recently, many states have been raising the tack brackets for people who earn more than $1 million in a given year.

More Time Without Money

Having more money means spending more money on your finances. You’ll no longer be able to just your bills and balance your checkbook. With millions in the bank, you’ll have to spend more time budgeting your money, figuring out where to save or invest it, or learning how to manage it. With more money comes more responsibility.

Money Management

While having more money means spending more time managing it, it also means that there’s more maintenance required. While most people maintain their bank accounts by balancing their checkbook or depositing into their savings account, becoming a millionaire means having to do a lot more than that. If you don’t have a lot of knowledge about financial management, you’ll have to work with someone to better understand how to manage your money. Your yearly taxes will be more involved than before and you may have to consider how to invest, save, or donate your money.

Overspending

A lot of people who suddenly come into large amounts of money go out and start buying all the items they once coveted. However, doing so can often lead to overspending and before you know it, you’re no longer a millionaire. How many celebrities have you seen who go from having it all to having nothing because they have poor money management skills or buy too many luxury items? It’s easy to want to spend money when you have it, but letting money burn a hole in your pocket can lead you to financial ruin.

Moochers

If you read any story of someone who won the lottery, started a successful company, or hit millions for one reason or another you’ll almost always hear about how they’re inundated with long lost relatives or friends. Even close friends and family might start hitting you up for money, assuming that since you have millions in the bank you can “loan” some to them without any worries. While it may be nice to have that money in the bank, becoming a millionaire also means that you run the risk of being taken advantage of or people only wanting to associate with you because you suddenly have money.

Stress of Having Too Much Money

While living paycheck to paycheck or having no income is definitely more stressful than having millions in the bank, being a millionaire can also be very stressful. Not only do you have to manage your money more carefully, but you also have to figure out if you want to invest it in stocks or assets, whether you want to donate to receive tax write-offs, or how and where you want to save it.

Millionaire Status

People can become millionaires in a lot of different ways, but no matter how you come into the money you always have to figure out how to keep it. For instance, if you earned your money through a company you have to ensure that the company maintains its profits so you don’t lose that income. If you became a millionaire through winning the lottery or a similar means, you have to worry about not spending all of that money and saving some for your future.

Photo: Flickr: Pictures of Money

10 Ways Life Gets Better When You Get Out of Debt

July 2, 2013 By Danielle Warchol 13 Comments

Have you ever had to cut back on your expenses or choose between paying the water bill or the electricity bill? When you’re drowning in debt, it might seem as though you’ll never break free. It seems that there is always something that needs to be paid, yet not enough money to pay all of the bills that have come in. While it might seem at that time that debt will consume your life, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Your life might seem stressful right now, but it will become remarkably better once you’re free of debt. Not only will you have freedom over your finances, but you’ll find your life has a lot less stress in it. Here are a few ways life improves when you get out of debt and why all your hard work getting out of debt is well worth the effort:

Freedom

One of the best feelings you’ll have once you’re out of debt is the overwhelming sense of freedom. No longer will you be chained to loan payments or credit card payments each month. You’ll have the freedom to choose what you want with your money.

Less Stress

Of course, you won’t be nearly as stressed out about money after you get out of debt. While you may still have money issues or concerns, they won’t be nearly as gigantic as they were when you were swimming in debt. As soon as you get out of debt, you can kiss a lot of your money related stress goodbye.

More Flexibility

You’ll also have a lot of flexibility now that you’re out of debt. When you’re in debt you often have to pick and choose what to spend your money on or perhaps even what bills to pay first. Once your debt is cleared away, you don’t have to bend your finances to pick away at bringing your debt down.

Financial Independence

Financial independence is possibly one of the best ways your life will get better after you get out of debt. When you have financial independence not only is your life less stressful, but you have more avenues open to you. You won’t have as much trouble getting another loan or putting a down payment on a big ticket item. Not to mention, you’ll feel better about yourself now that you’re not chained to your debt.

Control Over Your Money

Getting out of debt also means that you once more have control of your money. Sometimes being in debt feels as if you have no control over your money and that your money belongs more to debt collectors and loan companies than it does to you. Getting out of debt now means that aside from normal monthly expenses, you have control over your finances. You can choose what to buy, what to invest in, or how much you want to save.

Ability to Save

Getting out of debt now also means that you can set more money aside in your savings. Many people don’t save money while they’re in debt because they’re too focused on paying down their debt. While this is understandable, it also means that by the time they get out of debt they may have no savings. Once you get out of debt, you’re free to start saving money again.

Building an Emergency Fund

Additionally, getting out of debt also means that you can start building an emergency fund. Having a savings account for vacations or big ticket items is all well and good, but having an emergency fund for emergencies is an even better idea.

Knowledge of How to Prevent Debt

You might be so excited that you’re out of debt that you start spending money without a second thought. But don’t let your spending habits lead you back into debt. Use the knowledge you gained from being in debt and getting out of debt to prevent debt from occurring again. You don’t want to fall into debt again, do you?

Staying Ahead of Your Expenses

After getting out of debt, you also have the benefit of staying ahead of your finances. While this might not seem like the most exciting financial decision you can make, it’s probably the smartest. For instance, you know when your monthly bills arrive, you know how much you’ll generally have to pay, and you know when they’re due. Now that you don’t have to worry about paying down debt, you can stay ahead of you expenses by setting aside the money each month or even prepaying for a couple of months.

More Purchase Choices

One of the best things about getting out of debt means that you have more power over your purchases. When you were in debt did you often choose to buy one item instead of two? Maybe you needed a new oven and a new set of tires for your car. While you might not want to go out and spend all your money at once, being out of debt means that you won’t have as much difficulty making the decision whether to buy a new oven or new tires.

(Photo courtesy of he Eyes Of New York)

Why Create Unnecessary Stress?

October 26, 2010 By Jennifer Derrick 3 Comments

We all have stress in our lives. Much of it comes from things we can’t control. We have trouble at work, someone we love gets sick or dies, our kid has problems in school, or we have too many things to do and not enough time. With all the stressful events in our lives, why would we intentionally cause ourselves more stress? Yet this is exactly what we do when we live above our means.

It always amazes me when I see someone in the throes of planning a vacation, planning a wedding, buying a home, or some other expensive activity who is completely stressed out because of the money. These things can be stressful from a logistical standpoint, for sure. However, you compound the stress when the vacation or home is something you really can’t afford. Not only are you trying to plan this stressful event, you’re also trying to figure out how to pay for it. It’s stressful to try to cut the rest of your budget to accommodate the thing you can’t afford. It’s stressful to take a second job to make more money. It’s stressful to worry about whether or not the credit card can take another charge. It’s stressful when you pay for a vacation and the roof starts to leak the next day, but now all your money has gone to the travel agent. The stress of the event is nothing compared to the stress that results when you can’t really pay for it. Why add on to the stress of travel or wedding plans by making plans you can’t afford?

We stress ourselves on smaller scales every day, too. We decide to buy that $300 purse instead of putting the money in our much neglected emergency fund. Then when the car breaks down and needs a $300 repair, we stress out because we don’t have the money. We spend $150 eating dinner out five nights a week and then stress out when it’s time to pay the $150 electric bill. On and on we go, causing ourselves unnecessary stress by spending money we don’t really have. Then when we need that money, we stress because it isn’t there; it’s been frittered away on other things.

Money is stressful enough without living above your means. It’s stressful to earn money. It can be stressful to figure out how to invest it and to create a budget. It can be stressful when you and your partner have different ideas about how money should be spent. Money can be stressful when an emergency strikes and you are un- or under-prepared. There’s no need to make money stress worse by planning everyday activities and buying things that you cannot afford.

We all complain that we have too much stress in our lives. We all want to lower our stress levels and have smoother sailing. There are a lot of stressful things we cannot control. However, we can control some of our money stress simply by getting smarter about how we spend our money. When you don’t have the money to pay for a lavish vacation or wedding, plan something smaller or go without. You’re just as married if you’re married at the courthouse versus a $100,000 princess wedding. A camping vacation near home can be just as relaxing as the Caribbean cruise. And it may be less stressful overall to just stay home. If you have to have the lavish affair, save for it. Once you have the money, the planning and the event are far less stressful.

Don’t spend all your money on things you don’t need. Save some of it for things you do need. Then you won’t stress when the roof leaks or the car breaks down. Think about what life would be like if you didn’t freak out when your kid has to get a $100 prescription or you could handle a $300 car repair with ease. The underlying conditions (sick kid, broken car) would still be stressful, but your stress would not be compounded by worrying about where the money is coming from since you spent your last $300 on a new cell phone you didn’t need but really wanted. The world is stressful enough without our adding to it with our stupidity. Don’t bring more stress upon yourself by constantly spending more than you can afford.

Low Cost Stress Relief

October 7, 2009 By Jennifer Derrick 7 Comments

Recently I went through a very stressful period in my life. I usually handle stress pretty well, but for some reason this time was different. The stress was making me ill. I had gastric problems related to the stress, I got migraines for the first time, and I started grinding my teeth at night, ruining some dental work. I had to find a way to deal with my stress, but I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on spas, massages, retail therapy, vacations, or psychotherapy. I needed to find some inexpensive ways to tackle stress. I found quite a few that worked well for me and so I’m passing them along to you.

Coloring books

I’m not kidding. I picked up some coloring books at the Target $1 Spot and a box of 64 Crayola crayons and colored. I discovered it’s impossible to be stressed out while coloring. I even colored some things in colors that they aren’t supposed to be, like green skies and blue grass, just to have fun with it. And the smell of the crayons makes me feel like a kid again.

Movies and ice cream

My minister actually told me this one, but it works. Rent a movie where a lot of things blow up and turn up the volume. It doesn’t have to be gory, just a good sci-fi or special effects bonanza. Get your favorite flavor of ice cream and eat it while watching the movie. If you’re really stressed, just eat the ice cream directly out of the container. It’s hard to be stressed while everything is exploding around you and you’re eating good ice cream. Comedy films would probably work, too, but there’s something satisfying about watching things go boom.

Exercise

I exercise regularly, but during this period of stress I dropped off considerably. I had so much else going on it was hard to drag myself out for a run. But once I forced myself to carve out the time and exercised rain or shine, whether I felt like it or not, my stress levels went way down.

Socialize

When my stress was at its worst, I was hunkered down in my house by myself. I was too tired (I thought) to do anything so I stopped going out with friends. Big mistake. I forced myself to be social again. My friends took my mind off my problems and we did some fun, low cost things together like picnics, pot lucks, and game nights. Their presence made me feel much better.

Play

In addition to coloring, other forms of play were helpful, as well. I played catch, frisbee, and bean bag toss in the yard, played board and video games, and worked a few jigsaw puzzles. It was all fun and it got my mind off my problems and allowed me to unwind.

Relaxation

In addition to my regular yoga practice, I worked on consciously relaxing during the day. Whenever I felt my shoulders or jaw tightening, I consciously relaxed those muscles. It helped train my body to stay in a relaxed state.

Nature

I’m blessed to live in an area that’s close to the beach and mountains and has lots of lakes, parks, and trails. I spent a lot of time walking and sitting in natural surroundings, just listening to the birds, the water, or the breeze in the trees. It’s a very calming experience to be out in nature.

Prayer/meditation

I revived my long forgotten prayer practice. It helped to talk over my problems with a higher being. I didn’t feel so alone after praying. I also meditated, trying to just quiet my brain and give it time to rest.

Bedtime stories

This one sounds nuts, but was probably one of the most helpful. Most of my stress hit at night. You know how it is: The TV goes off, it gets quiet, and your brain kicks in with all the worry, exaggerated thoughts, and scary ideas. It not only kept me awake, it ruined what sleep I was getting and contributed to my teeth grinding. So I started telling myself stories as I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come. I started out with familiar stories, like old bedtime stories, or condensed versions of my favorite books, but then I started making up my own stories in my head. Usually within a few minutes I’d fall asleep and sleep quietly through the night.

Journaling

Because I like to write, writing about my stress was a natural outlet for me. I wrote without censoring anything. I just put it all out there. Then I destroyed it. But the act of writing longhand was calming and the relief of airing my problems was tangible, even though no one else heard them.

No caffeine

I gave up caffeine. It wasn’t helping with my sleep problems and it was making me jumpy. I’d never had problems with it before, but during this period it made everything worse. So I weaned myself off of it and I felt better after a couple of weeks without it.

Silent scream

When things got really bad, I waited until I had the house to myself and then let it all fly. I yelled, cussed, slammed doors, and generally let out the frustrations. No one was around to be offended or hurt by what I said or did, and I felt better afterward. Drained, but better.

Hot baths

Just sitting in a hot tub did wonders to calm me down before bed. I didn’t need any expensive oils, bubble baths, or aromatherapy candles. Just the hot water calmed me. It was also the only way I found to get rid of my migraines.

Read

I read a lot as it is, but I cranked it up a notch, looking for diverting stories, adventures, favorites from my childhood, travel guides, or books about non-stressful subjects like plants, animals, and science. The library was a great source of stress relief.

Gardening

My garden became a refuge, giving me exercise, time in nature, healthy food, and a quiet place to just be while I worked.

Fewer outside influences

I quit watching the news, particularly at night. I don’t watch TV much as it is, but I curtailed the little I did watch. The shrill ads just added to my stress and the news was nothing but bad news. I stopped reading the paper, too. I skimmed the headlines on the Internet first thing in the morning to stay informed of anything major, but that was it.

Thanks to these ideas, my stress is under control. I’ve stopped grinding my teeth and my gastric problems are resolved. The migraines are much less frequent and the time between them grows longer every time. Now, when I start to feel stressed out I reach for one or more of these ideas to help me cope. It beats letting it all build up and making me sick. We all experience stress, but there’s usually no need to add anxiety over expensive treatments to the mix. Try some low cost stress relievers first.

Note: If your stress is severe and nothing else is helping, do go see a doctor or therapist. Stress can contribute to a variety of diseases and problems, so you don’t want it to go on unabated.