So now it would seem that what men think doesn’t really matter when it comes to gauging the happiness of the overall relationship, and that old piece of wisdom which was constantly shared just might in fact be true! Apparently, the happier and more content the wife, the happier the husband. Again, this is regardless of how he feels about their relationship (Also living below your means contributes to a happy marriage).
Deborah Carr, professor at Rutgers’ Department of Sociology, School of Arts and Science said, “I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life. Men tend to be less vocal about their relationships and their level of marital unhappiness might not be translated to their wives.”
So basically if she’s happy, he was also happy; even if he didn’t give the marriage high marks. The women though, were generally unhappy if they perceived their union as not being a happy marriage. The researchers had examined approximately 400 couples nationally. The couples that participated had been married for an average of 39 years.
In their attempts at assessing the quality of each couples’ relationship, a series of questions were asked. Some of these questions were about whether or not they argued a lot, or if they felt appreciated by their significant other. The participants were also asked to keep detailed diaries doing activities like watching TV or going shopping.
Those involved, on average, rated their general life happiness high. Husbands rated slightly higher than their wives.
Professor Carr said that one of the reasons this could be is, “We know that when a partner is sick it is the wife that often does the caregiving, which can be a stressful experience, but often when a women gets sick it is not her husband she relies on, but her daughter.”
So the next time she’s ill, making her some chicken soup and bringing it to her while she’s in bed might not be such a bad idea.
(Photo courtesy of Lara Schneider)