dating

Champagne Girls: What About Champagne Guys?

March 1, 2017 By Amanda Blankenship 1 Comment

You may have read a piece from a few years ago about “champagne girls.” At first, when I read the article I had a hard eye roll. I thought to myself, how many people can actually be like that? That is, until I started dating again for the first time in six years.

I was plummeted back out into the dating world after my fiancee and I broke up. That’s when I realized champagne girls are real. In fact, many of my friends would qualify as “champagne girls.” But, what I also noticed (and what is talked about much less), is that there are also champagne guys.

What are Champagne Girls?

A champagne girl is a girl who prefers the fancy things in life. This means that when she goes out on a date she is expecting champagne (or wine) to be poured, her chair to be pulled out and for your wallet to be on the table.

As it turns out, champagne girls aren’t as uncommon as I thought. There are plenty of women dating men to see how much money they can spend. It is almost like a test. Often times they will order one of the more expensive items on the menu or an expensive drink to gauge their date’s reaction. Basically, they are trying to see how much cash they can get their date to drop.

Champagne girls are pretty common but the dating style isn’t only prevalent among women. Guys do it too.

Coming Into Contact With a Champagne Guy

Like I said, I hadn’t been on the dating scene in about six years. Everything was kind of weird. I’d been with my fiancee since I was 17 years old and I’d never been an adult dating. As both a career and goal-oriented young woman, I found there are plenty of champagne guys out there too.

It is often assumed that when you go on a date the man pays, however, that is not always the case. There were a few dates here and there that I offered to pay for or I offered to go dutch on (hey, I’m an open-minded and progressive woman). Being newly single and a young woman with a career, I had a little extra cash to spend that I normally wouldn’t. If my date ordered one of the more expensive items or ordered alcohol when I ordered water I didn’t bat an eye.

It wasn’t until I read about champagne girls that I realized what was going on here. Usually these dates would be planned but they would try to cancel for money reasons. My response would be, “don’t worry about it, my treat.” Then they’d take advantage of the situation.

Am I mad about encountering a champagne guy? Well, no, but I do feel like I learned a bit of something about myself. I’m not a champagne girl (money has never been extremely important to me) but I’m definitely not cut out to date a champagne guy.

Have you experienced a date with a champagne girl or guy? Share your experience with us!

Photo: Yi Wang

How Much Should You Spend on a First Date?

February 6, 2017 By Amanda Blankenship 1 Comment

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and many people are preparing for a fancy night out with their so-called valentine.

Some Valentine’s dates will also be first dates and as most people know first dates can be kind of nerve wrecking. You have to think about where you’ll go, what you’ll wear and there will always be that awkward moment when you decide who is paying.

Traditionally the male in the relationship would pay for the date, however, there are more and more “untraditional” couples out there. If you’re planning on picking up the bill for your first date you will want to plan ahead. So, how much should you spend on a first date?

How Much Should You Spend on a First Date?

Spending a ton of money on a first date can be risky. After all, the date may not go well and you may never see one another again. Then you’ve simply wasted a chunk of change on a dead end (if you’re seeking a long-term relationship). So, how much should you spend on a first date?

According to Wise Bread, most women aren’t looking for an extremely expensive date (especially not for the first date). However, most men spend between $50 and $100 on the first date.

If you are worried about how much you should spend on a first date you can always set boundaries and talk about the date prior to meeting. For example, if you would like to “go dutch” (each of you pay for yourself) you should make that known before going out for your date. Also, keep in mind that the person that asks the other out on a date tends to be the one to pay for the date. If you don’t have the means to pay for both of you make sure to discuss it before your date.

Some Cheap (or Free) Date Ideas

If you don’t have a ton of cash to shell out on the first date, have no fear! There are a ton of cheap and even free dates out there. In fact, some of these ideas are more memorable than the traditional dinner-and-a-movie:

Go to the bookstore – A date to the bookstore can be great, especially if you’re both book worms. You can both share some of your favorite literature with each other, check out comic books and magazines and possibly even steal a kiss in between the racks.
Book a free tour – Many cities have free tours. The two of you could be tourists in your own town and take a free tour for your first date.
Rent bikes – In addition to the free tours your city may offer you may also be able to rent bicycles. Riding around town on a pair of bicycles or even a tandem bike could be an extremely fun and cheap first date.
Bar trivia – Many bars have trivia nights. They can be a great way to test your date’s knowledge! Of course, you’ll want to bring some cash for food and drink while you’re there but the game will be completely free.
Go to a festival – Stay up to date on local festivals. You can take your date to a music, art or food festival. Most of the time these events are free (or pretty cheap).
Outdoor activities – Head outdoors for your date! Find out if your date likes to go fishing, hiking or visiting parks. If so, you can take them to do that activity for your first date. Outdoor activities are also a great opportunity to have a cheap, yet romantic, picnic.
Cook (stay in) – Instead of spending cash going out to eat on your first date why not invite your date to your home? You can show off your cooking skills and spend far less than you would eating out.
Use Groupon or Living Social – You can also find a lot of cheap/free date ideas on apps like Groupon and Living Social. Oftentimes they will have discounted meals, movie tickets, event tickets and even trips!

Last but not least, when you are trying to budget how much you should spend on a first date you should focus on the overall experience and not the cash. You can create a special date without breaking the bank.

Photos:Courtney Carmody and llee_wu

How to Get Someone Else to Pay for You

May 17, 2016 By Amanda Blankenship 3 Comments

Have you ever wanted to go out to eat, make a nice meal or go out for drinks but you didn’t have money to pay for it? Well, there may be a simple way to fix that problem. Just get someone else to pay for you.

As a newly single woman, I have been able to get a free meal here and there from friends, guys who want to take me out and even my family. Getting someone to pay for your meal or your drinks seems a lot harder than it actually is. Here are a few ways to get it done:

Be a girl. This will be the one and only sexist point on the list. But seriously, girls can get their meals (and drinks) paid for pretty easily, especially if you are younger. If you go to a bar and flirt a little, chances are a guy will buy you a drink or two. If you are asked out on a date, nine times out of 10, the guy will be paying for the meal. Just be receptive to it.
Just say yes (to the food that is). If someone wants to buy you a meal, don’t do that whole, “oh, no… I wouldn’t want you to pay for my food.” Everyone likes food, especially when it is free.
Accept dates. Again, this usually only applies to girls. However, if you accept a date, you may be getting a free meal out of it. Most of the time, when someone asks you out (especially as a woman), they are expecting to pay for the date.
Be friendly. This one is a biggie. If you don’t continue a conversation after you’ve gotten your free drink or meal, the person is going to feel used. Even if you are using them, you definitely don’t want to put off that vibe. Continue conversation until the meal or drink is done and then thank them and be on your way if you’re not interested in pursuing a friendship or a night cap with the person.
Be prepared to pay. If you are headed out to the bar for the night, always be prepared to pay your own tab. This is the same for going out to dinner with someone. If you go out with no money, you may find yourself in a very sticky situation — or a very bubbly one (washing dishes). Always be prepared to pay your own, but be friendly and don’t fight them if they want to pay for a drink or two (or dinner).
Don’t turn down the family dinner. Obviously, the majority of this posting surrounds the bar and restaurant scene, but don’t forget if someone else is making you food it is free too. If your mother, grandmother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, friend or anyone invites you over for a home-cooked meal, take it! Always offer to bring something, but don’t fight them if they say “just bring yourself.”
Lastly, don’t put yourself in a bad situation. This goes for men and women alike. Never put yourself in a situation where the person paying for you expects more than a hug after dinner or the drinks. Like I stated before, always be prepared to pay your own (and drive your own car or have Uber handy in case of a need for a quick escape).
Have fun! If you are out and about meeting people, have fun with it. Enjoy the free things as they come, but enjoy the company you keep and the people you meet even more.

Photo: Flickr: Adam Hirschhorn

LifeLock Says Those Getting Married Are Eight Times More Likely to Experience Identity Theft

July 8, 2014 By Jeffrey Strain 1 Comment

LifeLock study: life milestones are times of identity theft

Getting married or having a child should be a wonderfully happy time where you shouldn’t have to worry about others taking advantage of you, but that’s exactly what a lot of scam artists do. A survey conducted earlier this year by Forrester Consulting for LifeLock (LOCK) has shown people have a higher chance of being a victim of identity theft when a new life milestone is taking place. This includes such things as becoming a new parent, getting married, purchasing a new home, or starting to date again.

While the increase in likelihood of identity theft varied from life event to life event, all carried a significant increase in the likelihood of it taking place compared to the average person not experiencing such an event. For example, those newly married were eight times more likely to have identity theft take place than the average person. For new parents, the increased likelihood was five times more. Those with a new home or who began dating again saw their chance of ID theft increase by as much as three times.

As Hilary Schneider, the president of LifeLock notes, “Life milestones in this day and age are often accompanied by significant sharing of personal data. Whether you’re getting married or buying a new home, you’re filling out many different forms both digitally and on paper — and you may have very little control over where your highly personal information goes. Our research shows that people can take a few simple steps during these moments of time that may help reduce the risk of identity theft.”

There seems to be a number of factors which increase the likelihood of identity theft for these groups according to the research. There simply is so much data collected on a variety of devices these days which puts people at a greater risk of having their personal information compromised. It’s those life milestones where a lot of personal and financial data is shared compared to regular daily life which causes the problem. The sensitive information is being shared during these times, and as it is shared there is a greater risk that ID theft can occur.

If you find yourself going through a life milestone, you need to be more wary of your personal information, but there are simple steps you can take to protect yourself from ID theft. These include:

Setting up fraud alerts with all three of the major credit bureaus (Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax).
Have your name and address removed from pre-approved credit card offers.
Request your free credit report from each of the credit bureaus and set up a monitoring cycle.
Keep all your important records secure, such as in a locked file drawer or safe.
Shred all documents being thrown away with a cross-cut shredder.
Consider placing a credit freeze with the credit bureaus.
Do not let your credit or debit cards to be taken out of your sight.
Be careful to inspect all slots where you must insert a credit card to make sure they haven’t been altered to steal your card’s information.
Take precautions to protect your PIN.
Understand and avoid being a victim of phishing or phone scams.
Consider getting an unlisted phone number.
Don’t give out your social security number unless necessary. Always ask why it’s needed.
Don’t carry your social security number in your purse or wallet.
Take steps to protect your computer and all your online accounts.
Frequently monitor your online accounts for suspicious activity.
Monitor your mail.
Keep all personal information away from areas where others can see it.

(Photo courtesy of loloieg)

I Have A Date: Day 16

January 16, 2013 By Jeffrey Strain 10 Comments

Apparently I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who believe that, much like my sister, I should be dating someone. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about this, but after I mentioned that my sister thinks that I should go out on dates as part of the minimum wage challenge, I received far more emails and messages from friends saying that they had the “perfect person” to set me up with. This concerns me a great deal because I tend to be the type of person who doesn’t believe in “perfect” matches, but that relationships, like most things in life, take a lot of hard work and compromise. While I realize that is not something that I need to worry about in the least bit on a first date, just the mere fact that they would insist that it’s “bound to work” even before the two of us have met sends up some red flags. I think I would be a bit more comfortable if they simply told me they knew the really great person that they thought would be good for me to meet, but I guess that’s not the way that set-ups work (at least, not among my friends). Even with my concerns, I decided that it couldn’t hurt to give one a try, and now I have a date set for this coming weekend.

I know that there was a some concern about my sister wanting me not to tell the date that I’m doing this minimum wage challenge until after the fifth date in the comments. I think the main concern was that I would be leading the date on to reach the five date goal, but in all reality, I think that would be extremely difficult for me to do. I tend to be fairly blunt and honest (I call it as I see it), and I don’t think it would ever be possible for me to pretend to enjoy the company of somebody just to reach five date goal (life is far too short to do things like that). If I go out, and things don’t click, then there would be no way that I would try to go out again simply for the challenge.

My guess is that the topic won’t even come up unless a date suggests that we do something that I simply couldn’t afford. I think that is highly unlikely, but I guess it could happen. My hope is that if my limited finances do come up, I can simply say that I’m currently on a tight budget and that would suffice as an explanation. That being said, I’m not going to lie if it does come up. I think I will play that by ear and do what I feel is best depending on the circumstances.

So, the big question now is what should I actually do on the first date? I figured that there are two ways to play it. The first one would be to simply go to a mutually agreed-upon coffee shop and sit and chat for a while. This is probably the safest date because there’s a quick and easy escape if either of us doesn’t feel any type of connection or comfortable. The other option would be to take her on a short hike (I’ve been told that she likes the outdoors) which would be a little bit more risky, but would likely give us a chance to get to know each other better than simple conversation at the coffee shop. Which of the two do you think is the better option, or do you have a suggestion of something that’s even better to do on a first date?

Overall, today was a pretty boring and standard day (at least from the perspective of you as the reader). Since I’d lost the last couple days with the website server issues, I had a rather long list of things that needed to get done. I spent most of the day in front of the computer doing them. Although it was a day filled with work and not much time to take a break (just once in the morning and once in the afternoon to walk the dogs), I did manage to catch up on most of the work, so I’m feeling a little better about that. It also meant that I had a no spend day since I didn’t have the opportunity to even think about spending any money.

I have hope that I’ll be able to do at least a short hike tomorrow because after spending full days I front of a computer, I really need to get out.

Today’s Spending

Food: $0.00
Car: $0.00
Housing: $0.00
Travel: $0.00
Misc: $0.00

Total: $0.00

Total Spending

Food: $7.39
Car: $0.00
Housing: $0.00
Travel: $0.00
Misc: $16.15

Total: $23.54

Next article: Day 17: Cooking Injury

(Photo courtesy of DigitalArtBerlin)

Do I Really Have To Try To Date? Day 10

January 10, 2013 By Jeffrey Strain 24 Comments

Apparently my sister is not only my sister, but also an evil genius on par with all the worst comic book villains of all time in her ability to morph things in ways to get her intended purpose no matter what. I don’t date. It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with dating, it’s just that with my lifestyle, it’s not worth the time or effort. I am extremely happy with my life and lifestyle, and it just happens that the lifestyle that I lead isn’t very conducive for dating.

My sister, on the other hand, believes that nobody can truly be happy unless they are in a relationship. She has, therefore, been trying to get me to date any chance that she gets for far too long. She saw the perfect opportunity with the comment from secretarysaving who left a question asking me about dating and the minimum wage challenge: “Jeffrey – What about your personal life, any dates planned?”

Sister: You really can’t do this challenge without dating?

Me: Why not?

Sister: Because it’s something that everyone does, and if you leave it out, then you’re not giving a true representation of all the things that people normally do in life.

Me: I’m not trying to do that.

Sister: So, what you’re saying is that if you have to go on dates, then you would lose the challenge. Basically you’re afraid to lose so you won’t do it.

Me: No, that isn’t it at all.

Sister: I don’t believe you. Prove it to me.

Me: Fine. I’ll go on some random dates during the year just to prove you’re wrong.

Sister: But you can’t tell them that you’re doing this challenge. That would be cheating. You have to just go like it was a regular date.

Me: What?!

Sister: If you tell them that you’re doing the challenge, they will feel sorry for you and let a the date slide even when they aren’t having a good time. You can only tell them after the fifth date.

Me: What?!

Sister: And if you can’t get to a fifth date with anyone this year, you’ve basically proven that you lost the bet because you couldn’t find a dating partner that would be willing to date you while on a minimum wage budget.

Me: What?!

Sister: So it’s settled. You have to date and date one person at least five times or you lose the bet.

Me: What?!

And then she turned and walked away triumphantly, shouting over her shoulder that if I refused, then I’d just proved the point that I was chicken and couldn’t do it. Now, anyone who is aware of the Sibling Agreement on Records, Bets, Stunts and Streaks (SARBSS) code knows that all accusations of not fulfilling terms of a challenge because one is “chicken” must be proven false, no matter how ridiculous the accusations are, just to prove the point of how wrong the sibling who made the accusation in the first place was.

The problem is, I’m not even sure how to go about doing this (any suggestions would be greatly appreciated). It’s something that I’m now going to have to figure out how to do, and I have a feeling that it’s not going to end well.

Today I headed for the second house sitting gig of this year, this time in Santa Rosa, CA. It was about 100 mile drive north from my mom’s house which meant that I had to cross the Golden Gate Bridge. No matter how many times I cross that bridge, I’m always amazed at how spectacular it looks. On a day with blue skies, like today, there was really no doubt that I was going to stop to take a few photos of it:

I think that this house sitting job will be a little harder on my budget than the last one. Once again, I was told to eat whatever I wanted in the house, but this time there are far fewer perishables and leftovers in the fridge, although there is beer which should be nice (I think I’m going to have to be careful, because I might start losing house sitting jobs by showing the inside of everybody’s refrigerator where I house sit)

While there is enough food for part of my stay, I’ll probably have to go to the grocery store to supplement the food during this week. Unfortunately, I don’t have any coupon inserts with me so I’ll have to go and buy whatever I can find on discount. I think I should be able to come away under my $5 per day budget on food, but it won’t be quite as easy as the last house sitting job.

One positive of this house sitting job was that the owners felt bad that I was only charging them the cost for me to travel to and from their house, so they took me out to lunch before they left. This allowed me to have a quite nice lunch at no cost which consisted of a salad and enchilada (although it was the strangest enchilada I have ever eaten):

Since my transportation costs to the house were covered and the lunch was paid for by the home owners, I didn’t incur any other spending costs for the day.

Today’s Spending

Food: $0.00
Car: $0.00
Housing: $0.00
Travel: $0.00
Misc: $0.00

Total: $0.00

Total Spending

Food: $7.39
Car: $0.00
Housing: $0.00
Travel: $0.00
Misc: $16.15

Total: $23.54

Next article: Day 11: Failing to Think Creatively

Editors note: If you are reading this posting because you are actively looking for someone to date, join match.com. Match is a paid online dating service. Its members have to invest a monthly fee in meeting people, which means there is much less flaky behavior and better quality partners than free sites like Plenty of Fish, Tinder or Bumble. Match is also very popular because its mobile and desktop interfaces do better at facilitating communication than its competitors like eHarmony. Click here to join.

(Top photo courtesy of BrentOzar)