Funny Tax Quotes

[jeffrey]

For millions of last minute tax payers, the day of truth is just around the corner. To help you get through this time, we have gathered a number of tax related quotes to try and put a smile back on your face:

"I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat." - Michael McShane

" I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is—I could be just as proud for half the money." - Arthur Godfrey

"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag." - Jay Leno





"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids." - Harvey Mackay

"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away." - Tom Lehrer

"There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure." - Dan Bennett

"What's the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets go." - anonymous

"I love America, but I can't spend the whole year here. I can't afford the taxes." - Mick Jagger

"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin." - Mark Twain

"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta." - Dave Barry

"People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women." - anonymous

"If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead -- if you strike oil." - J. Paul Getty

"Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?" - Peg Bracken

"If the IRS took 100 taxpayers at random and sent each an incorrect notice that they owed an extra $92.35 in taxes and interest, more than two-thirds would probably just send in a check without investigating further." - G. Guttman

"The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect." - Sam Ewing

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax." - Albert Einstein

[cercis]

Originally Posted by jeffrey

"If the IRS took 100 taxpayers at random and sent each an incorrect notice that they owed an extra $92.35 in taxes and interest, more than two-thirds would probably just send in a check without investigating further." - G. Guttman

This is probably quite true. I'd pay because being self-employed leaves you with an irrational fear of an audit. You think "I know this is deductible, but what if I'm wrong?". I'd figure under $100 is so much better than it could be, you know?

Now that we are both employed by outside agencies, I'd ask more questions.

[backtaxpro]

"If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

Ronald Reagan

[poundwise]

Originally Posted by backtaxpro

"If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

Ronald Reagan

It should be noted that this is an incomplete quote.

What Reagan said before these words was, "Back then, government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases..."

In other words, the above quote seems to attribute the view to Reagan when, actually, he was attributing that view to his predecessors.