Men, Women and Finances
I read back through and saw "I may not like what you say but I do think about it". Good and THANK YOU. I have always been open with what others say to me, because that is what we should do, perhaps we don't agree with what the person says, but the thinking about it is what is important. Different culture's do things differently and maybe we don't like it until we ask "why do you do it that way" we may discover supplies are limited, or actually the rationale is great. I came back again today because I have something else to say and hope it will be thought about: An article in last week's newspaper was a woman, elderly woman, remarried. Both wife and husband have children, assets, etc. She was concerned what would happen to her if he died so she asked him. He said "oh, you will be fine I have spoken to the children". She felt uncomfortable and asked him to write it. A week later she asked if he saw the attorney, he did but did not sign the document. He said he would, she asked next week and he said he had not gotten around to it. So, she called the lawyer and he did execute the will "GIVING HER 90 DAYS TO VACATE IN THE EVENT OF HIS DEATH". Gentlemen this is not taking care of the woman you love, it is not taking your fiscal responsibility seriously (neglect and negligence), it is mismanagement of the stewardship God gave you. Now this can be true for a family with a woman provider and a stay at home DAD. so it is not just men here. I took the liberty to look up financial abuse, mostly dedicated to elder law but still here is what applies: misuse or neglect of financial resources. 9/10 cases involve family and women are the most vulnerable and abused. Methods that apply here: erratic bank activities, changes in wills and property titles, and forged signatures. Now I know that everyone does not like to look at a budget, but both parties in a marriage should be involved in the decisions and investments. I have taken over in my home. I am strong and independent. However, I have tried to get my spouse involved. When I showed him our assets at 200,000 he decided we needed a 30,000 Blazer (the beginning of a divorced couple). Now he gets it a little better. In 2000 when I called him to our room to discuss moving the retirement funds because there was something wrong in the stock market he literally got up and walked out of the room, I would not move the money without discussion so we lost alot (oh boy more trouble in paradise). Two days ago, you will see if posted on the airline credit card, I saw Citi with United and called him due to 60 dollar annual fee, we decided yes because I have enough charges coming up that I have a guaranteed ticket and I liked the schedule from United for his trip next June to California for the first year law exam (anyone live in LA, need a place to stay), he came home and I needed to discuss the particulars and he said "do we need to do this I want to go to the gym". I was mad and the reality of divorce is getting MORE REAL. This is why I looked up abuse, my spouse trivalizes my efforts (I am great with money, our budget, taxes, etc.) and I found this insulting. So okay I vented, but I do want you to think about it. Both parties should be discussing the finances, seeking ways to cut expenses, raise revenue. Good job!!!
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( I use the term loosely)
