Saving for Wedding

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Originally Posted by dfresh1988

There's all kinds of other garbage like an aisle runner, petals for the flower girl, bouquets for the ceremony, bouquets for decorations at the reception.

It's garbage that you can't afford.

The only mandatory expense is the marriage license. Everything else is a choice made by you and your spouse-to-be. Why spend money on something that isn't important to you? More significantly, why go into debt (which is what you'll do if you spend money on the wedding that should go to pay the rent) for something that sounds like it is spiraling out-of-control?

Originally Posted by dfresh1988

Wedding 1 had 200 guests and cost $60k in total. Wedding 2 had 75 guests and cost $16k. Wedding 3 had 300 guests and cost $80k.

Originally Posted by dfresh1988

It's a standard rule of thumb that you give a gift equivalent to what a plate costs per person coming.

Not at all, but it is a promising way to get yourself in financial trouble and probably lose friends. Since friend #1 has a rich family that throws a lavish wedding, he gets an expensive gift. Since friend #2 has an entry-level position and no rich family, he gets something from Wal-mart. Do as you wish, but just because your social circle bases generosity on the budget of the host does not mean that it's standard for most of society.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Culturally speaking, how to say this nicely, some cultures expect people to pay for their plate. My mom preaches that to me since forever. Yes you give a lot more with family but there is a minimum. Not trying to be crass but explain what the poster is saying when he says "rule of thumbs."

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Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

Culturally speaking, how to say this nicely, some cultures expect people to pay for their plate. My mom preaches that to me since forever. Yes you give a lot more with family but there is a minimum. Not trying to be crass but explain what the poster is saying when he says "rule of thumbs."

Another poster has credit card debt because of the expectation of expensive gifts. Do you really just not invite close friends or family unless they're rich enough or willing to go into debt to provide a gift you feel costs enough?

When you're invited to a wedding, do you then ask the host (who actually is supposed to pay for his guests) how much it costs so you buy accordingly?

When we choose to spend money on restaurants or houses, we need to choose within our budgets. But it now seems some cultures are demanding that friends and family operate the same way.