Splitting expenses between friends

[StellarSaver]

How do you typically split up shared expenses between friends, say on a vacation or a trip you take together? I'm curious specifically about situations where there are some couples and some singles as part of the group. It's been my experience that often the single people end up subsidizing some of the couples' expenses, because the couples are usually thought of as an individual "unit" for purposes of splitting up costs. For example, if a group of say 6 friends (2 couples plus 2 singles) were renting a van and going on a road trip together, how would you split up the rental costs for the vehicle plus the cost of fuel for the trip?

[Redraidernurse]

It doesn't seem fair for the couple to be considered a "unit", but I can see how a couple would have difficulty considering them separate if their finances are joined. You must be one of the singles I am guessing, so my advice to you is the best way to present it would be to draw up a "Trip Budget" detailing expenses and then at the bottom list total costs PER PERSON. Give the budget to each of your friends ahead of time so it is made clear before the trip what each person is expected to be responsible for.

[disneysteve]

The total cost should be divided evenly among the number of people whether single or part of a couple. So a couple should pay twice as much as a single. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

[esb3357]

I have always had it billed per person. The only exception would be hotel rooms, if the couples are together and the singles have their own room.

[StellarSaver]

I'm in agreement on the hotel rooms, since they're always charged per room and not per person. But what about a situation where a group of friends (let's say, again, 2 couples and 2 singles) rent a beach house for the weekend that has four bedrooms. Obviously the couples will occupy two bedrooms and the singles will each have their own bedroom. Do the singles each pay 1/4 of the total rental cost of the beach house, or 1/6? I have had various friends argue it should be split up along "bedroom" lines. Their argument usually rests on the assumption that the rental costs are roughly proportional to the number of bedrooms as opposed to the number of people a house can accommodate.

[esb3357]

Originally Posted by StellarSaver

I'm in agreement on the hotel rooms, since they're always charged per room and not per person. But what about a situation where a group of friends (let's say, again, 2 couples and 2 singles) rent a beach house for the weekend that has four bedrooms. Obviously the couples will occupy two bedrooms and the singles will each have their own bedroom. Do the singles each pay 1/4 of the total rental cost of the beach house, or 1/6? I have had various friends argue it should be split up along "bedroom" lines. Their argument usually rests on the assumption that the rental costs are roughly proportional to the number of bedrooms as opposed to the number of people a house can accommodate.

I can give you the married perspective with lots of single friends. We break it up by individual costs not overall expense. So if you are a single and taking up a whole bedroom then yes you should pay for your bedroom while the married are sharing. On the other hand, if your bedroom is the living room couch, or pull out in a shared space you should pay different. The best way to give my true opinion would be if you provide the exact situation that you are confused about. I know roommate wise, we pay by square footage not by number of people. So my husband and I have 60% of the not shared area, versus our roommate and his girl friend have 40%. So we pay 60/40 for the rent, while we split everything else equally.

[krantcents]

I agree except when the expenses are lopsided. For example, the bill is $60 and $40 rpresents the other couple's cost. I usually ask for separate checks or itemize the bill.

[Nightfly]

With big ticket items like hotel rooms, just book your own. With dinners and gas: a solid friendship has a way of evening those types of expenses out, over time. "I get this round of drinks, you get the next round..." etc. Keeping too much detailed score on who pays for what gets tiresome and can make one appear too cheap.

[StellarSaver]

Yeah, I have struggled with the "appearing too cheap" issue when keeping track of expenses before. Some friends like to track everything carefully, while others are completely opposite and want to go the "you pay this time, I'll pay next time" route. In general, I'm fine with not tracking everything down to the penny, but ultimately I do want to ensure that everyone pays their fair share. On the other hand, pretty much everyone in my circle of friends makes good money, so I suppose a few dollars (or even a few hundred) over the course of a long friendship is not worth worrying too much about.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by StellarSaver

On the other hand, pretty much everyone in my circle of friends makes good money, so I suppose a few dollars (or even a few hundred) over the course of a long friendship is not worth worrying too much about.

That's my feeling. When we go out with friends, we split the bill evenly. We don't worry about who ate what or if one person had 2 drinks and the other only had 1 or who had dessert and who didn't. We earn enough to not worry about it. Sometimes we probably overpay for what we ate. Other times we probably underpay for what we ate.

As for sharing a house, I would split that evenly by person assuming things are generally equal. If the house was $1,200 and there were 6 people, each person pays $200 when they are alone or part of a couple. One possible exception would be if the accommodations aren't equivalent. Maybe the couple that gets the master bedroom with the private bath can kick in a little more and the single who takes the small bedroom with the shared bath can pay a little less but I wouldn't get crazy about that. Splitting it evenly would be just fine then too.

[edg126]

When it comes to vacation with a group, I split all the costs per person, like hotel rooms. If you are doing a lot of things together I have each person put like $100 into a shared funds that covers gas, or admission prices to parks/museums. That way you aren't constantly asking for money, or waiting 10 minutes while everybody buys it individually. When the pot gets low, everybody chips in more. Works really well.

If there were two beds in a hotel room with one couple and 1 single person, and the couple tried to pull the '1 unit' BS they wouldn't be staying in my room.

[dawnwes]

We split evenly for our beach trips, but honestly, some people end up more "even" than others. The rooms are not equal. One is a master suite and huge, other rooms are tiny with two double beds shoved in there and shared bathrooms. But we do it that way anyway. It works out ok.

We also get separate checks when we go out to eat. I usually order water and a $15 meal. No appetizers and no drinks or desserts. Some people order an appetizer, dinner, drink and dessert and spend $50 at the same restaurant. I have no intention of subsidizing their meal when I am trying very hard to be frugal.

Dawn

[cschin4]

MY advice is to try and keep everything separate. Pay your own bills. Get your own room. Get your own dining bill and so forth. Anyone who objects to that is planning to glom off you anyway.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cschin4

MY advice is to try and keep everything separate. Pay your own bills. Get your own room. Get your own dining bill and so forth. Anyone who objects to that is planning to glom off you anyway.

That's a pretty depressing view of friendship. I've shared a vacation home with friends before and we all had a great time. Now there are people who I wouldn't do that with but as long as you know which friends would work in that kind of setting, it is a lot nicer than being in a hotel.

[bjl584]

I've gone to the beach numerous times with friends and family. It's pretty simple to figure everything out. The beach house is say $1200 for the week, so you just divide that by the number of people going on the trip. With grocewries, everyone would throw X amount into a kitty. At the end of the week any money that wasn't used is divided evenly and goes back to everyone. For getting there, everyone gets a turn to pay for a fill up at the gas station.

[cschin4]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

That's a pretty depressing view of friendship. I've shared a vacation home with friends before and we all had a great time. Now there are people who I wouldn't do that with but as long as you know which friends would work in that kind of setting, it is a lot nicer than being in a hotel.

Why is it "depressing". I travel and eat out with friends. We get our own tabs. It is no big deal.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cschin4

MY advice is to try and keep everything separate. Pay your own bills. Get your own room. Get your own dining bill and so forth. Anyone who objects to that is planning to glom off you anyway.

Originally Posted by cschin4

Why is it "depressing". I travel and eat out with friends. We get our own tabs. It is no big deal.

The bolded part was what I was referring to. The assumption that just because folks suggested splitting things equally meant they intended to take advantage of you.

I have no problem with doing separate bills in a restaurant, though we rarely do. But the OP gave a specific example of renting a van with a group of people and others brought up the issue of renting a vacation home together. Separate bills aren't an option in those cases. The expenses need to be split in some fair and equitable manner.

[Frugal]

Usually, at a dinner, or lunch, etc. at a restaurant, the group just breaks up the check and each individual pays their portion, whether they are single or not. It seems to work best.

[photo]

Originally Posted by StellarSaver

I'm in agreement on the hotel rooms, since they're always charged per room and not per person.

That has not been true on most of my travel in Europe. Two people sharing a room are not charged the same as one person per room. I've also encountered that situation in US hotels, as well, especially if breakfast is included in the price.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by photo

I've also encountered that situation in US hotels, as well, especially if breakfast is included in the price.

I've never been to Europe but I've never encountered a difference in the US. I have seen a 3rd or 4th person charges, hence the "kids stay free" promotions, but 1 or 2 people has never made a difference.