How to explain your budget to your friends?

[skives]

how do you guys explain to your friends that you can't do something because it's not in your budget? Like if they ask to go out to dinner and it's not in your budget? Thanks

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by skives

you can't do something because it's not in your budget

Just like that.

Your friends will understand.
The ones who don't understand aren't your friends.

[MonkeyMama]

What he said.

That said, I don't spend a lot of time turning down friend's invites. When I hung around an "eat out a lot" crowd I Would often meet them and just get a drink or an appetizer. There is certainly middle ground. Of course, I tend to gravitate to people who are open to more low cost activities, anyway. So is rarely an issue.

[Little House]

Exactly as you stated. If you feel guilty, invite them over for a pot luck and rent a movie. It's just as fun and less expensive.

[helpx25k]

I also turn down my friends a lot. I'm trying to pay off debt and I spend all applicable money on credit cards!

[buildmybudget]

I used to try and find that middle ground by eating cheap or having one drink and leaving(which caused other problems--"why do you always leave after one drink??" It's not sustainable, really. As DS said, your true friends will understand that you have financial goals you're trying to reach.

[snshijuptr]

We always tell them that it's not in our budget, but we also make sure to invite people for good frugal fun. We regularly host potluck barbecues, game nights, etc. Make sure your not always saying no.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by snshijuptr

Make sure your not always saying no.

True. If you are always saying no, I'd suggest taking another look at your budget. You may be going too far in one direction and need to loosen the reins just a bit.

[maat55]

My friends do not ask because they think I'm weird with money.

[dczech09]

Money for going out with friends is in my "Entertainment" budget. If I have money in there, then cool and no need to worry. If there is no money in their, then I just do not buy anything.

I've gone to the bars with friends before, spend the $30 I have left in my budget, then stick to water for the rest of the night. I don't think my friends should have to suffer just because I'm responsible with my money; conversely my values with money shouldn't have to suffer either. Its all about finding a middle ground and that middle ground is budgeting money for entertainment.

[KTP]

Originally Posted by skives

how do you guys explain to your friends that you can't do something because it's not in your budget? Like if they ask to go out to dinner and it's not in your budget? Thanks

One thing we did was a round-robin type of dinner party at home with a select group of friends, which solved the eating out thing somewhat but still let you socialize. Since we all like to play Texas holdem and board games, we centered the night around that. It worked for awhile but gradually became expensive as we started to put on increasingly extravagant dinners. If kept to a slightly more sane level, such as pizza and cheap beer where everyone pitches in I think this would be an excellent way to still socialize and see your friends. Figure $5 to $10 per person vs going out to a bar and spending $30 per person.

[zim]

I agree with KTP. My best frugal experience was in college, when me and my roomates had no money. Grab your friends, pitch in $5 and go buy some Little Caesar's Hot N Ready pizzas and cheap beer and stay home. That was how we lived in college, doesn't sound bad to me.

[Radiance]

My friends do not ask because they think I'm weird with money.

lol! they think I'm weird with money too. but they have adapted so when they ask they say "do you have money in your budget to go for lunch this week, if not when can we go?"

They know I rather visit their homes or have them visit mine. They also know I am always on the knowing for free fun events (outdoor music, entertainment, food) I pack my sandwiches, they buy food at the venue, but they aregrateful for tips and we always have a great time.

They also know that when I do go out I rather go on one-on-one instead of a group and when we do they drink water and keep the check low so I will agree to split it because "I am on a budget".

To them it is a temporary situation like "I am on a diet" but in my case it has been going on for 2 years now.

They know there are objectives I'm working towards, like right now that I want an EF...yes, for them that is a want and not a need

But overall, they think I am weird, which I might be, a little bit and I have no problem with that

[cypher1]

While most of my friends are now in their late 20s or early 30s, priorities change instead of doing club, bars, etc. Some of us are home owners so we like to stay in for game/movie nights with beer and pizza or so. We're all concerned with budgests/finances, but we still find ways to include in our activities, since we're all friends. I think the biggest concern for most of them is more of gas, than the activity. Goes back to the idea if you're friends with someone, you'll make time to stay in contact, not having to spend a lot $ to do so.

[snshijuptr]

Another thing is that I regularly talk about money and finances with my friends so they understand my point of view. We all share our goals and aspirations (many of them monetary) so we have a culture of saving. Since we all are aware that we are all trying to buy a house or pay off student loans, no one really expects to go out for dinner and drinks on a regular basis. Usually if we do want to go out, we do happy hour and then go to someone's place to hang out. We've made it okay to be broke so there is less keeping up with the Joneses.

[cschin4]

I rarely if ever discuss my budget with anyone. But, keep in mind, that having a friend that constantly says "I can't afford it" gets pretty tiring. Instead, just say, "sorry, i can't make it" and that's it. No further explanation needed. Less is more. But, if you do have a group of friends who eat out a lot, etc, you can take them aside and tell them you are sorry you cannot join them more often due to budget restraints. But, i would probably make some room in budget to go out with friends sometimes. And, you should try to plan some other get togethers at your home or other ways that are less expensive.

[DebbieL]

Sorry, it's not in my budget right now. That's all you need to say. I might also follow up by inviting them over to my place to watch a video, play cards, etc and have a few drinks (or whatever you like to do).

[jerrycates]

It is best to tell them up front. Never pretend that you can go with the flow of a lifestyle that's beyond your means. It will only lead you to disaster. Disaster spells DEBT.

[Cassius King]

I flat out tell them I can't afford it if I can't. If they persist, I tell them that I'm funding my Roth, prepaying the mortgage, adding to the EF, saving for vacation, etc.

Knowing that not many of them are doing the same, hopefully it will get them thinking about it and moving in the right direction.

[moneyclass]

Originally Posted by skives

how do you guys explain to your friends that you can't do something because it's not in your budget? Like if they ask to go out to dinner and it's not in your budget? Thanks

just say your busy or something came up or your not feeling good right now or you have to be up super early for work tomorrow.

things are sometimes not in my budget and i just come up with something like i just said even if im just sittin at home doing nothing