Still trying to switch from working mom to WAHM

[Radiance]

Since the day I knew I was pregnant I wanted to stay home with my kid.

I was married then and we both starting making cuts on expenses and being frugal about baby expenses.

Unfortunately we split when the baby was 8 months old and I get no child support or alimony. So I am solely responsible for me and my son, at least financially.

Still I want to do it. not as a SAHM because I am the only income, but as a WAHM then, right?
My divorce became final last september (so I pay more taxes as single now) and I moved to a longer commute and I finally opened a 401k so now I am working on my new budget to see where I stand.

Problem is, I have a good income, yes, that is a problem because I tend to think I need my new occupation to produce about the same for me to make the switch, when in reality I want to learn to live with less. I make 90k a year.

Another motivation "problem" is that I dont need to do this, if I needed to make it work to survive I bet it would be done by now

I know I pay $630/month for daycare and I need to stablish how much in commuting. I live in south florida and I dont want to move to a cheaper area because I want my son's dad to be part of his life and while he does not contribute financially, I admit he is a very good father and takes care of the kiddo 50% of the time.

I am pissed now, because my son was diagnosed with autism, his dad and I started working with him at home and he is improving each week! Imagine if he had stayed with me at home! I no longer think it is autism, I think this child needs homeschooling! Imagine if I can do that, it would be sooooo goood

Please be candid on your comments, because I know I am a spoiled brat and I have it good, but I want to change, and I have changed a lot. I am debt free and I buy everything cash. It is something! right?

I think what I will do is to start switching expenses into savings, more and more so I learn to live with less, I admit it is tough! I have to remember my long term objective everytime I want a starbucks coffe or skip cooking.

Any tips on cutting corners? and avoid shopping withdraw?

Another dream I have is not to have a car, that sucker is expensive! Where I live now everything is walkig distance. Even if I have to pay a taxi in case of emegency here and there I would be better off! geez! (Public transportation is aweful and unsafe here, almost like non existing)

Let me hear it!

[KTP]

how did you manage to not get child support? if your ex is alive and you are taking care of the kid, then child support is mandatory...

[Radiance]

Becasue it is joint custody, we both take care of the kid equally and I make more than him. Welcome to Florida

[frugalgirl]

Instead of quitting your current job and finding a new one, can you work out some kind of reduced hours arrangement with your current employer to give you more time at home? I was able to do this with my employer when I returned from maternity leave with my older child. Your current employer may work with you rather than lose you.

In my job, I knew that I had to be at work every day so I approached my boss and presented a plan where I worked 80% of full time. I was at work every day but was able to adjust my hours to work less total hours per week. My schedule was flexible to accomodate all of my internal and external customers and also my child's needs. This was really my only option to reduce my hours as nobody hired people to do what I did part-time. I also was able to keep 80% of my benefits.

This kind of arrangement will also give you the flexibility of going back to full-time if you need to or or want to at some point like when your child starts school.

Losing 20% of your income is probably doable as long as you still have access to good healthcare benefits. That could be a major budget buster especially if your child has special needs.

[Radiance]

I was just thinking of you Frigalgirl! Because you mentioned you did a similar thing.

Well, I could reduce my hours from 40 to 32 and thus keeping 80% benefits. this is true here as well, they have done it for other women.

But that translate to leaving at 3:30 Mon-Thr and at 3:00 on Fridays. Not sure how much difference will that make on my son. Will it? How is this a budget buster?

I was actually thinking to start doing something on the side and try to go from there.....

[Hector]

Originally Posted by Radiance

I was actually thinking to start doing something on the side and try to go from there.....

If you start doing something on the side, wouldn't you be more busy? What is that SOMETHING on the side?

[Radiance]

If you start doing something on the side, wouldn't you be more busy? What is that SOMETHING on the side?

I know! It is tough, I see it as an investment to later on be able to quit, I only do it on the days I dont have my son, so I am not affecting him much.

It is web design, got my first customer 2 weeks ago and I am 70% done (last attempt failed and I gave the deposit back, that was last year) Nothing fancy, just HTML/CSS

[couchrobt]

Doing freelance webstuff would definitely help. Maybe if you can convert the 'side' thing into a bit more than that, it could end up --hopefully-- a full time homebased job. All the luck to you.

[frugalgirl]

Originally Posted by Radiance

I was just thinking of you Frigalgirl! Because you mentioned you did a similar thing.

Well, I could reduce my hours from 40 to 32 and thus keeping 80% benefits. this is true here as well, they have done it for other women.

But that translate to leaving at 3:30 Mon-Thr and at 3:00 on Fridays. Not sure how much difference will that make on my son. Will it? How is this a budget buster?

I was actually thinking to start doing something on the side and try to go from there.....

Working this reduced schedule was a big change for me. Mostly because I was a salaried employee so I worked 7:30 to 5 regularly. Thus, this formal 32 hour week, reduced my work hours more than just 20%.

I did not leave early from work when I went to 80% of full time. I went into work late, at 10:30 am and stayed until around 5. I did this because my colleagues all started at different times ranging from 7:30 am to 9 am. Thus, I was there when my internal customers were there. I liked this for my child because he slept all afternoon so I could spend the mornings with him. He woke up by 6 am and would nap on the way to daycare at 10 am. Thus, I had 4 hours with him in the morning, missed the three hour nap in the afternoon, and picked him up when he was wide awake and ready for me at 5:30 pm.

My colleagues liked this schedule because they could get in to work, check email, etc. and when they were in the full swing of things for the rest of the day, I was available to them. They would have been very frustrated to have to wait until the next work day to get my help if I left earlier than they did. I could also check my email in the mornings from home and respond if there was an emergency. I would never have checked them if I left early to go home.

That's what worked for my situation. I really liked it and it made a big difference to me.

As long as you get to keep your health benefits, I think you can manage to do this with 20% less money.

[Radiance]

Thank you!!! It didnt occur to me to just start late!
Definitively less traumatic for the company than me leaving early!!

So Mondays and Wednesdays I can work from 10:30 to 5:30, that is just 2 hours less than normal. Twice a week, that is only 4 hours a week reduction = 10% income reduction... in my math ok? with this I keep 100% of my health and 401k benefis

Well, this all needs to be presented and approved, but it is starting to sound good.

6:00 - 7:00 Moms get ready and prapares breakfast while kid sleeps
7:00 - 8:00 Breakfast, unwind, enjoy, laugh
8:00 - 9:00 Home School
9:00 - 9:45 Commute to School
9:45 - 10:00 Arrive at school and play/learn for 15 min (dad picks him up at 5:40)
10:30 arrive to work

This is much better than current:

6:00 - 7:00 Moms get ready and prapares breakfast while kid sleeps
7:00 - 7:45 Commute to School, sleeping most of it
7:45 - 8:00 Arrive at school and play/learn for 15 min
8:30 - arrive to work

Thank you again!

[cschin4]

The KISS principle. You HAVE a good job. Whatever you do, is something people are already willing to pay a decent amount for. So, trying to reinvent the wheel, why? There is 99.999% chance that whatever you try to do from home in a different business will in no way replace what you currently have in terms of income and benefits.
Now that doesn't mean i am telling you to just continue and not make changes. You certainly can make changes, especially if you are willing to live on less. In reality , life is a Time vs. Money issue. You usually can have one or the other, you rarely get both. I don't know what kind of career you have, but the obvious thing is to cut back your hours or even cut back to part time. Could you work 3 days a week, make about $50K and then you would also have to pay health care and other bennies, but it could be done. Whether others think you "should', well, they aren't living your life. YOU need to decide what is best for you and your family.
ANd, if you do cut back, that would also give you some time to pursue other things on the side as well. I would highly advise that you do that and not just quit your good job .

[frugalgirl]

I'd propose your 90% of full-time plan to your employer for a trial period. If you think you may want to reduce your hours further or go back to full-time at the end of the trial period, you have already established a time to discuss these options at the end of this trial period.

Good Luck!

[zetta]

Problem is, I have a good income, yes, that is a problem because I tend to think I need my new occupation to produce about the same for me to make the switch, when in reality I want to learn to live with less. I make 90k a year.

Another motivation "problem" is that I dont need to do this, if I needed to make it work to survive I bet it would be done by now

You need to think hard about whether your real goal is to be a WAHM or a self-employed entrepreneur. Starting up a business takes an enormous time investment, and entails a large degree of risk. You don't have to be an entrepreneur to be a WAHM -- you just have to find an employer who is agreeable, either by negotiating with your current employer, or finding a contract position. I was a WAHM for a software consulting firm where the president went out and found work and made the business deals and the rest of us were independent contractors. Having most of us work from home saved the company from having to pay for much office space.
The downside is the expense of buying health insurance on the private market -- not a problem for me because my husband has good insurance.

I know I pay $630/month for daycare and I need to stablish how much in commuting. I live in south florida and I dont want to move to a cheaper area because I want my son's dad to be part of his life and while he does not contribute financially, I admit he is a very good father and takes care of the kiddo 50% of the time.

You would likely not save as much on childcare expenses as you think. (Btw is your ex paying for part of the daycare expense? Does your son attend daycare during his days with his father?) The reality is that if a child is of daycare age, you will need an in-home nanny the entire time that you are actually attempting to do any work during daylight hours. (Most WAHM who don't use a nanny either work very early in the morning or very late at night.) You might be able to get away without care for a couple of hours during naptime, but naps become more and more unreliable as a child ages and it inevitably happens that an important phone conference occurs the day your child refuses to nap.

Also, when your child turns 3 he may be eligible for special needs preschool provided for free by the school system. This may introduce its own logistical headaches depending on the availablity of aftercare. Get connected with the local autism community if you are not already.

The thing to target here is your commuting time. Would your employer agree to working from home only on those days your son is not with his father? Can you find another good job or contracting firm closer to where you live? Could you change your hours to work 12 hour days when your son is with his father, and shorter days when he is with you, keeping the same total number of hours?

[Radiance]

Hi

No, I would not quit until "others things" are consistently making what I need. Notice i said other things in plural.

I think I see a level of urgency here because one of the objectives is to try to get him to grade level in two years so he can attend "regular" school. So the next two years are critical. I have connected to other moms (and dads) on my predicament and they all agree there is nothing like the parents when they are skilled and willing to make a difference in autism.

He in fact got assigned ese preschool starting in august, that is free and goes form until 2:00pm...I forgot to ask at what time starts! but i know it ends at 2:00PM where they are taken by bus to a daycare of my choice (not happy at all with the bus idea,,,but well) So right there my daycare cost will go down because he'll be there part time and not full time.

I am solely responsible for the daycare, this was my only way not to pay child support to the father.
He is on daycare every day as his dad works full time too.

My current employer will not allowed anybody to work from home, it was after so many moms asking for this that they allowed some to reduce hours, yes, they prefer that over allowing people to work from home I dont know how to find a telecommuting job with a new employer.

Risk... well, this is why I am doing this on the side, so I wont let go of employment until it proves it works. plus, I have more employed friends who were laid of than self employed friends in trouble. employment is risky too. Imo

But I would love a tele-commuting WAH job!!!! I just learned the easier way is through your current employer and that is not an option for me.

I know working with a toddler in the house is close to impossible, and I am willing to do it on evenings, specially when he is with his dad, and weekends.

lets see,

[mom-from-missouri]

Originally Posted by Radiance

S

A

I am pissed now, because my son was diagnosed with autism, his dad and I started working with him at home and he is improving each week! Imagine if he had stayed with me at home! I no longer think it is autism, I think this child needs homeschooling! Imagine if I can do that, it would be sooooo goood


Let me hear it!

We homeschool and some kids with issues do sooo much better at home. First, understand even if you do homeschool, you can still use school resources (tutoring and such) as you pay school taxes.

Second, join homeschooling groups now. #1, you get ideas from other parents who have children with similar issues. and #2, many homeschooling families own their own businesses. So, its a great way to network yourself out professionally.

Good luck!

[couchrobt]

Trial period would be a good start. It would not really hurt as long as it is well planned and make sure that you have back up plans too. Most of the time, working from home is being backed up by a partner who is on a full time job. Just in case, things don't work out. Though many moms I know have established freelancing just fine.

[Radiance]

Im on it!

Havent found the local groups yet, but good online community both for autism and homeschooling.

mom-from-missouri got it right, therapy via the public school and at home support is the winning combination. Praying he gets assigned the right caregivers! I met mommies on my situation at a picnic yesterday and they tell me I have to be vigilant so my son really gets all the services he is entitled to by law.

couchrobt, I know without a partner is more difficult, but I still want to do it.
Freelancing sounds like a more natural response, I keep my eyes opened for a tele commutting opportunity, but like zetta says I have a toddler so it needs to be flexible time so I accomodate my working hours around my hours with my son.

My current job is far away but if they offer the option to reduce hours, that is a big plus I am not likely to have if I find a job closer to home. But about this I also keep my eyes opened, you never know.

AAAHHH, so much to do and reasearch, one day at a time. I havent even finished my budget!
Possibly on Tuesday when my son is with his dad. I want to finish that first before I ask for reduced hours